I made some important amends. To my middle brother and to my parents. My brother said that I didn't have a part in what I was appologizing for, and that I put too much pressure and guilt on myself. I saw his point. Then we talked a long time about how he has been feeling and things I do that help me. I really hope he feels better soon. Shoutout to my BF from talking with him. He called his boss who he is good friends with, which shocked us both in a good way.
My mom told me that she was so happy that I have been acting better and that I seem like I have been happier than I ever have been in the past. She told me that everyone does things that they wish they hadn't done and that she forviges me and loves me and is so happy that I am doing better.
My dad asked me a lot of questions. He asked why I treated them that way. He asked if I really thought things were going to be different. He never said he accepted my apology. He doesn't do that, really. I remember the first time he said he loved me was about 3 years ago, and maybe 2 years ago he said he was proud of me. He's just not an emotional person. After my last overdose he says he loves me a lot more. Usually after I say it. He hugs me too. <3 <3 <3
The rest of the day though I had a talk with my mom about how I felt about being taken advantage of in the family, and she tried to explain my dad a little. We put up Christmas decorations together. I swept the porch. I read out of the Big Book and prayed and meditated a lot. I called Gail. I had a nice talk with Marsha. I just felt good! It was a me day, so I did what I wanted to do, nothing else.
Had a really good meeting that night, too. I handed out a chip to a good friend.
Great, relaxing day!