Jul 29, 2012
i really just get sick of people. i guess it's normal, but when i need alone time, i get frustrated... i get irritable and just want to get away from whoever i'm with and whoever's making me annoyed. but of course, i can never get away. right now, i want more than anything than to be home alone for the night. but with mom being mom, and dad having dumped linda for the ten millionth time, i'm stuck with constant parental supervision. granted, i AM moving out in a month to go to college, but that wont be much different. at least, there'll be places on campus to be alone...
i saw a post on facebook the other day of this girl ranting about how she's sick of always being the one to have to make plans, and always getting left out... i didnt know her, but damnn, i know exactly how she feels. that's me. i always have to make the plans myself if i wanna see any of my friends. i can assure you, if i never asked heero to hang out ever again, we'd never see each other. ever. she's my best friend and means the world to me, but i'm taken for granted i think. i'm just always there, ready to entertain or annoy. always. i think, next time i get to talk to her [[she's up at the high ride now, and wont be back for a week still]] i'm gonna leave all the planning to her. and she'll know why--i'll tell her that i'm sick of making all the plans myself and being taken for granted. if she wants to hang out with me, she has to have at least some responsibility. friendships are two sided. and i dont want to go away to college knowing that if i never take the time, i'll never see my best friend again. she just means to much to lose, you know? she just means too much to me...
dammit, i know why i'm feeling this way [[not the wanting alone time part]]... its cuz i miss her. i've seen her like three times in the past month and a half, cuz she's been gone so much... i miss my best friend. honestly. and it doesnt help knowing that she's having too much fun with that boy from florida to even have me cross her mind. XP
well, now i need to wipe away these tears and make myself look normal again.... my computer's about to die, and my charger's not nearby XP
not to mention, that aside from craving time to myself, i'm extremely lonely. missing your most important person will do that. jaim and the others are going to the waterparks in a few days i think... if they invite me, i'm not turning them down.