Two weeks in, Im still hangin in there. Determined to make it. Its been a rough day tho. A rough weekend really. My back and neck have been hurting, I been gettin stuck at work, and having to push myself to stay clean. I been feeling really tempted. Wanting to go to the dr and get pills. Something in my head is saying that I can take them as prescribed, and Ill feel better. But I know better. I know that one will turn into two, then 4 then 10. I know Im not strong enough to take them as prescribed. And I know that if I take any at all, itll be 4 more years until I decide to stop again. I know that Ill binge and take 10 or 20, and I worry that someday Ill take one too many.
So for now, Im just gonna try to get thru today. Hopefully tomorrow all these feelings will go away. Maybe the pain will let up.
Im gonna pray really hard tonight. Think maybe I got a lil too confident. Forgot to pray and ask for help. But I know that only God can help ,e. I never been strong enough on my own.
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