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Mourning Zane...

Mar 02, 2008 - 4 comments





foster care





It has been 2 and a half months since Zane has been here and gone.  I miss him terribly.  I would give anything to still be pg. with him and feeling him move around inside me.  It is hard to see and hear of other mom's out there enjoying their lovely pg's not knowing the awful things that happen to other mommies.  I am however thinking of doing foster care for infants.  Hopefully somehow this can help me.  And hopefully I can help others as well.  I am thankful for this site and all of you that I'm able to talk to and help.  Hoping to feel better soon....

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by Kimbr7, Mar 12, 2008
I am so sorry to hear about your son.  I almost lost mine, she ws in the NICU for 14 days, but pulled through.  Here is a poem I found that gave me comfort during this time.

What makes a mother? I closed my eyes and prayed to God today. I asked what makes a Mother and I know I heard Him say, A Mother has a baby. This we know is true. But God, can you be a Mother when your baby's not with you?'Yes you can!', He replied with confidence in His voice, 'I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.'Some I send for a lifetime and other's for a day. And some I send to feel your womb but there's no need to stay. I just don't understand this God, I want my baby here. He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear. 'We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear. My Mommy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me I learned my lesson very quick My Mommy set me free. I'll miss my Mommy oh so much but I'll visit her each day. When she goes to sleep on her pillow is where I will lay. I'll stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, Mommy don't be sad today I'm your baby and I'm here So you see my dear sweet one, your child is OK. Your baby is here in my home and this is where he'll stay. he'll wait for you with me until your lesson is through. And on that day that you come home he'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother. It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of right from the very start.

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by Zanes_Mommy, Mar 13, 2008
Thank you, Kimbr7.  That poem is beautiful.  It made me cry but at the same time I like to believe that my little Zane is still around and watching over me. That poem hit the nail right on the head.  So thank you so very much.

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by grammy64, Mar 14, 2008
Oh my.  I am so, so sorry.  I completely understand.  Time makes the day to day life easier, but does not seem to ease the hurt, at least not for me.  He is lucky to have such a loving mom.

Hugs to you.

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by babymama0258, Mar 18, 2010
I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your son. I had five miscarriages before I finally had my son and daughter. It hurts alot to lose a child. But you got to move on somehow. Just think of them being in a better place.

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