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The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Jan 13, 2009 - 0 comments

I submitted my discharge paperwork to the Air Force last Thursday, and now I'm just sitting on my hands waiting for approval.  I know some people think I took the easy way out, but for me, there we're many options left.  It's the only way Martin and I can raise our child together.  I miss him.  Every Monday morning my heart breaks when I leave him to go back to this place.  

Last night, I called to tell him how lucky I felt to have him.  Instead my hormones got the best of me and I picked a small fight with him.  I just wanted to scream at him, to make him understand how I felt for just a few minutes.  It's not his body that's changing, it's not his emotions that are making havoc, and it's not him who's quitting his job and is scared he won't find another one because he's pregnant.

Alas, I am lucky.  I just needed to talk to him, and he hates the phone, and I hate the distance, and I miss him, and in my worst moments I'm afraid he's getting further away instead of closer.

I'm just icky with emotions.

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