Mar 04, 2008
Today I actually woke up feeling ok, not as rough and like a truck had hit me like the days in the past. I am trying, trying, trying to stay so very positive keeping myself up beat, I am just soo afraid of getting more kidney stones (which is how this all began) and having horific pain and then what do I do? I am scared of being in pain I guess and now not being able to take anything I guess I need to find out what doctors give patients who are allergic to like Oxycodone, hydrocodone any narcotics? Thats what I think I have just determined if I have a problem again I will tell them treat me as if I were allergic to it all! Well there we go I just figured that one out for myself HA I see things are getting easier, I just want a day with no pain and to be happy so very happy. Being able to joke with my kids not cause "I'm feeling good" or being able to go outside and enjoy time with my dogs. I mean just getting up and getting my kids off to school isn't such a dreadful difficult task because I feel like such ****. I know I will have days ahead where I will feel bad but even people who aren't addicts have those, I will just push threw and move on. Today my back is really bothering me I hope its just what I heard someone say is phantom pain, like something little can feel huge because I've been numbed for so long, or maybe its my mind saying oohh look your hurting you need a pill but as the old qoute goes "I'm givin it the finger!"