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Day 4 Part 2

Jan 17, 2009 - 0 comments

I'm beginning to see a pattern with my good and bad days so far.  Yesterday was great and today was bad.  I think it could have something to do with my attitude and the fact that I HAD to work today because we need the money, but I'm bitter about having to do it when I am still dealing with so much.  My job originally started out as a hobby that just happened to make money with it, so it was fun to do.  Now my mind is so full of thoughts of trying to get better that I don't want to work.  But with more bills, birthdays and other things, I neeId to get things done.

So all day I sulked while I worked.  Thank God I work at home and no one has to see me! I'd be fired!  By around 5 or 6 pm I started pulling myself out of it and was feeling better.  I just want to feel normal again and be productive!  As things stand right now, I feel like I am depressed on days like today.  It's okay I think to still be trying to find myself after all of this.

For the most party, my pain isn't bad at all.  For that I am SO thankful!  There is no way I would have continued on this journey if it hadn't gotten better.  Now I am so happy that I stuck it out and know that there is life after Tramadol.  My other w/d symptoms are much better now too.  I'm sneezing less and my head is a lot less fuzzy.  No auditory problems today at all that I can think of.  I almost feel normal except for the depression and some anxiety.  Tonight will be interesting too as far as sleep goes.  Thank goodness I get to sleep in tomorrow if I'm able to.  

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