Jan 17, 2009
I'm beginning to see a pattern with my good and bad days so far. Yesterday was great and today was bad. I think it could have something to do with my attitude and the fact that I HAD to work today because we need the money, but I'm bitter about having to do it when I am still dealing with so much. My job originally started out as a hobby that just happened to make money with it, so it was fun to do. Now my mind is so full of thoughts of trying to get better that I don't want to work. But with more bills, birthdays and other things, I neeId to get things done.
So all day I sulked while I worked. Thank God I work at home and no one has to see me! I'd be fired! By around 5 or 6 pm I started pulling myself out of it and was feeling better. I just want to feel normal again and be productive! As things stand right now, I feel like I am depressed on days like today. It's okay I think to still be trying to find myself after all of this.
For the most party, my pain isn't bad at all. For that I am SO thankful! There is no way I would have continued on this journey if it hadn't gotten better. Now I am so happy that I stuck it out and know that there is life after Tramadol. My other w/d symptoms are much better now too. I'm sneezing less and my head is a lot less fuzzy. No auditory problems today at all that I can think of. I almost feel normal except for the depression and some anxiety. Tonight will be interesting too as far as sleep goes. Thank goodness I get to sleep in tomorrow if I'm able to.