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2 Week Wait!

Aug 30, 2012 - 1 comments

I have been trying to stay so positive with this last IVF.   It is hard knowing that if this doesn't work then it is game over for us.   I am praying for a miracle.   I went back to work today and it was challenging.  One of the girls  just found out she is pregnant.   I am happy for her but I can't handle her complaining.   People at work know that I have struggled in this area but have no idea what treatments I have had or the emotional roller coaster of infertility.    It is crazy that I have planned out my life to have a family.   I have done everything to try to get pregnant.  And it just comes so easily for others.   I am happy for her and don't want to feel anger or jealousy.    She is a immature person and complains about everything in life.   All the other employees were joking at lunch that this is gonna be a long 9 mths with her complaining.  So I know it is not just me.   I think it just hurts me on an emotional level.   I had to keep from crying at work today.    
    Plus I have another friend whose baby shower is the day after my Beta test.   I RSVP'd yes already.   I am hoping I can make it through all this.   I don't want my friends to think I am mad or hate them because I can't get pregnant.   Mentally it is just the timing of all this that is the hardest.  

   I pray for the strength to get through this and not become bitter or angry.  I want to just accept whatever the outcome may be and live my life to the fullest no matter what happens.   I have already isolated myself on some level because of this and it isn't healthy.  

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by Yrmacias, Aug 30, 2012
Awww I know its so hard to be happy for people when we are struggling. I know we can't expect for them to understand us, but if bothers you that much and since they know part of your struggle I would tell her (your pregnant coworker) how lucky she has it considering how difficult others have it. Might make her appreciate a lil more what blessing it is to concieve just like that w/ out struggle or thought.
As to your friends baby shower....that may be a harder choice to make. My 19 yr old niece had a baby shower the weekend after my BFN on Clomid and I went to the baby shower for an hour and left before the opening of present. My family doesnt know the extent of my TTC so I just told them I was busy w/ work stuff. However, I've never really been a baby shower type of girl :\ Weird I know
I truly pray you get your BFP and you celebreate your Pregnancy at your friends baby shower.

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