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About Me

Sep 01, 2012 - 0 comments

opioid addiction


Chronic Pain




about me



Like most of the others here, my usage of narcotics began due to chronic pain.  I take way too many MG's per day and of course I am concerned about my health due to the amount of meds I take.  I do have very legitimate chronic pain and am in a pickle in trying to figure out what to do about it.  I don't see how I can live with the pain if I don't take the narcotics but I also know the narcotics are going to kill me if I don't do something about it.  So far I've been telling myself (justifying it in my mind) that I don't care if I have 30 days left to live or 30 years left to live, I just don't want to live it in pain.  And although I don't have a "death-wish" that is pretty much just how I feel.  On the other hand I wish there were alternatives to taking narcotics.  I wish there was a new wonder drug that was non-addictive that would take away the pain so that I and other people like me could live a "normal" life.  I can't deny that I love the feeling of euphoria that narcotics offer, but I have such a high tolerance for opioids I rarely get that feeling nowadays.  I would love to get off the drugs but I am afraid of the withdrawal symptoms too.  I start getting withdrawal symptoms if I haven't taken more meds within a 12 hour period.  I am so very close to being forced into doing something about it though.  I am broke and can't pay my bills now.  I am behind on virtually every bill I owe and am probably within less than a week of having my utilities turned off due to non-payment.  So yes, as you've probably figured out by now, in the last few months I have been forced into buying drugs on the street to feed my addiction and to try to stay out of pain.  And as most of you know that is quite expensive.  I was never a "drug user" but I did use to drink quite a bit of beer.  I've always taken pride in the fact that I was an good, up-standing, law-abiding citizen.  Not perfect, but a cut above average or most in that respect.  I never once thought I would be one who would be buying drugs on the street because my doctor wouldn't prescribe enough for me to be without pain.  Well, I am sure that if you are here and reading this then you understand exactly what I'm saying.  It's a shame that the Department of Justice and the DEA are being so hard on doctors that they are afraid of being locked up for prescribing enough medicine to keep their pain patients comfortable.  It's that, the laws against (legal prescription) drugs and the enforcement thereof that has created, for the most part, a black-market for prescription pain medications.  And we as good citizens are having to pay our hard earned money to keep these so called "criminals" locked up when their only crime is to try to not be in constant chronic severe pain (or the medical professionals who try to help them).  If our law makers and law enforcers had to live with severe pain for a few days those laws would be changed very quickly.  It's just not right that legislation controls and dictates "proper" medical treatment that should absolutely be left up to the medical professionals who have the education and experience to treat pain.  In today's society there is absolutely no reason for anyone to have to live with chronic pain.  

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