All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

"The Eyes"

Sep 16, 2012 - 0 comments

I've been blessed with my father's eyes. I receive many compliments through the years on how bright and brillant they are and remember looking at my Dad's eyes saying the exact same thing. How magnificent they were!Everything could be told in his eyes. His mood, especially. And now in this journey, certainly his health!

The unspoken bursst of pride, enjoyment, exhaustion, devoted love, sadness, problem solving and the fury of anger. Most importantly, sickness and dire end to life was his communication line.  I have the same ability through my own eyes. Darkness of illness and sadness, Brightness of life and everything in between.  All these can be seen through looking deep into my eyes and seeing the changes unfold to my emotion, restfulness, happiness and wellness. Laughing now, when I was a child, having a cold was more apparent in my eyes then my snotty nose and girgling stuffed up voice. My Momma would race me into bed looking at my eyes.

I've referred to my photo journal here personally from time to time, adding more current photos of myself through this long battle that truly I don't feel it will entirely ever be  resolved. While I am still optimal in thyroid health (on the books) and feel "normal" comparable to when I was at my worst, "something" (SOMETHING) still lingers missing and at this stage I believe will always be looking at my eyes. One thing I have yet to overcome viewing my photos is the tired look in my eyes you probably can't see looking at the photos. Although improved tremendously, still hiding there and viewable only to me possibly.

I've strived to feel my best. Dug into many internet blogs, research and actually made friends with some profound professionals and doctors during this journey with thyroid disease. Intense anger emerged at times- at still if provoked-  through all this that I never thought I had in me to learn the truth and punish the liars on how to manage this (and other) diseases. In opposite - sheer gratification and support to the ones who truly help people, and me also shines though.

It's all found looking at my eyes. The few photos I have posted here are quick snapshots of times I've been all dolled up makeup and hair BUT - deep down - you can see where I was and still am.  I encourage you all reading to do the same thing for yourself and keep an image MANY PHOTOS on your progression good or bad. Improvements or challenges. I know its hard but I wish I had more photos and WILL be analyzing through any out there. Its been a main source of history for me through most of this, as well as I hope for viewers looking at those photos able to see the differences. Does a picture say a 1000 unspoken words? I do believe yes. Personally, me to me, I can see more than anyone can. Blogger or family member. I know - because I am me. I live inside me and can see many things than anyone viewing these photos ever can AND just as you will also be able to do on your own image documentary.

The eyes still tell the story and helps me continue. It might sound silly but it really helps me to refer back to these and add more periodically.


Post a Comment