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my time to vent.

Sep 22, 2012 - 1 comments

I'm tired of trying to hide the mess that i am. I have been going through depression and
anxiety for 5 months now and it has been a terrible waste of my life being this way.
I have a condeming mother who keeps picking at my mistakes and constantly gives me guilt trips
Because she's angry at me for not being a virgen. I lost my boyfriend because i couldn't satisfy him and
Couldn't be the girl he wanted me to be and i made him feel insecure. School has been difficult to focus on.
And my body has been going through odd symptoms. My periods have not been normals and it has been bothering me
along with other sypmtoms. I have not been comfortable with myself. I have been restless. I don't have anyone to talk too.
All i have for now is this journal entry on medhelp. I don't know if anyone will even look at it or care. But i atleast have this
Moment to vent.

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Avatar universal
by evewisewoman, May 30, 2013

Hi loca636.

I just finished reading your comments. As someone who went through a major period of depression myself
many years ago now, you have my sympathies. I know how hard this is. I also experienced anxiety attacks
when I was going through my depression. I think I read that you are 22 years old, so you are relatively young.
Have you been to see your family doctor regarding your depression ?  Are you taking an antidepressant ?
If so, which one are you taking? I hope you don't mind me asking this. Some antidepressants are better than
others and frankly more effective and have less side effects. You said your mom is angry at you because you're
not a virgin. Sorry, but that's rather ridiculous to be angry with you because you're not a virgin anymore.
All this aside, you said you lost your boyfriend because you couldn't satisfy him. Is this the conclusion you came
to or did he say in so many words you can't satisfy me so I have to find a girl who can. If so, that's emotional
blackmail. Did he tell you that you made him feel insecure ? Sorry, what a crock. You're well rid of this man,
trust me.  I dated a guy a long time ago. I thought we got along well. We were both in the same profession.
I'm actually a retired primary teacher. As we got to know each other, we decided to get intimate. Anyway, I broke
off the relationship with him because he made me feel inferior. He said to me something like you're not as good
as my other girlfriends in bed. Hurtful words. You know what. I let him have it in words of course and stormed
out of his apartment and that was it. Like I said, you're well rid of him. As far as your periods not being normal,
that's usually part of the depression. I lost my periods the whole time of my depression. You say you've not been
comfortable with yourself. I felt that way too when I was going through my depression. I was also very suspicious
of other people which is also a symptom of depression. You say you've been restless. Again, a symptom of
depression. Are you having trouble sleeping? If you are, that's also a symptom of depression.  You say you don't
have anyone to talk to. Well, if you want to talk to me, I'll listen and I'll advise you the best I can. I know how hard
going through a depression is. I do care about your problem and if you'll let me, I'll try and help you.
I would also advise you to try and find a counsellor so you can talk about things that are bothering you and get
some advise from a counsellor. Talk therapy is as important as antidepressants. Another time we can talk about
anti anxiety strategies if you want to. Hang in there, loca636. Things will get better. If you want to talk again,
just send me a message. Peace be with you.  Eve

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