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When is it ok, how do we get there?

Sep 26, 2012 - 1 comments

I don't understand.  I don't get what changed inside me to let me get to the point where I make the decision to do things that hurt me and my kids? At some point there must have been a conscience decision that I made, BEFORE I got out of control!  At what point in my world did I decide it was ok to cut my body up and drain my blood? At want point did I decide that it was just fine to swallow a handful of blood pressure meds.  At what point did all of this change?  There must have been a time just before things got crazy and out of control that I made a decision that landed me here!  And like with everything else, I hate myself for going there in the first place.  And so begins the cycle of which I allow and possibly encourage myself to cut my body, drain my blood, and take my medication like candy, leading to more self loathing, more and more and more...  

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by vicki595, Sep 26, 2012
Those are excellent questions and I hope you come up with the answers! You are the only one who can...
I wish you speed with that. If you can get to "why things changed" it could stop the hurting and THAT would make you happy again.

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