Oct 22, 2012
well gosh I sure am happy with my friends ... they're un believable! :)
I feel better. i just. wow like supermeltdown idk ... it was unreal. you know like when you are so depressed and/or sick and you get this thing, well i do, when your fingers don't seem to work and everything you touched is f*cked and like, you can't make things work? like your synapses aren't firing and things just don't gel or go together? yah like that. its like, this house eludes me. nothing is in the place i expect to find things, dishes, clothes etc its all new and sometimes i just, it gets to me. and like, with everything that got delivered today. its so much stuff and this house is so little there nowhere to put stuff. its real frustrating
and i just got so tired and i couldnt eat i felt sick and i felt like i did when i got that flu and then i cried like just heartbrokenly is that a word no, but for like just a few minutes but i felt like all was lost. that was when i wanted to go see the H boys but. i was so tired.
and i am bummed out about no workout shoes. what the ....? they said they'd bring all the shoes.
but on that note we did not recognize our shoes cuz this cleaning service is so good they cleaned everything and it was like ... are these mine?
mmm ummmm .... its just sometimes i feel like there is no energy left inside me and i feel like i am 150 years old. and im not. i mean .... i guess part of it is the toll it takes when your house is demolished and such and like, all the stuff that is going into the repair and getting everything back and stuff but ... it just weighs on you i guess. i get discouraged and. like the tenant and his gf i guess are 30 or so and they have so much energy!!! it depresses me and i feel old and sad. like why cant i be like them? i mean most of the time i do a lot but days like today i just feel like a wet rag. not nice.
la dee da.
work was hard. it was like pulling teeth.
anyway we going to bed errrly
i feel happiness about my frens (thank ya all) and um ... my teddy bears!!! i have katydid who is a plush good sized pink and purple flowered bear and i have Tank, who is a little pink and cream colored monkey who my hub. says looks like a Teletubby and i get really really mad when he sez this becuz he does not look like a teletubby!!!!! he is a strong little guy'tank'
yes im an adult.
ok, medhelp i wish you well tonite. i will say my own kind of prayer for the hurting, the ppl who are going through it physically, the angry and doubtful, and the sad ... and also for the ppl who are in their own world or aredy sleeping who are blissfully unaware that they are misguided, confused, lost and DED RONG!!! (you know who you are) ...
good night, medhelp, good night!!!! see u brite and erly