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Plugging Along

Jan 27, 2009 - 1 comments

I had to get up at the crack of dawn to take my cat into the vet to get fixed. It was a terrible night.  I went to bed pretty early without any issues, but because the cat was in heat, she made things rather difficult for me.  Everytime I went to sleep she would be on me trying to wake me up.  Anyway, just when I drifted off into a great sleep, the alarm got me up and away we went.  So now I'm home and feeling foggy.  I'm thinking about just going back to bed for a few hours to see if I can shake some of these foggy feelings.

I had a few pretty good days before today though and that gives me hope.  Yesterday I went grocery shopping and worked in my studio for a few hours.  I was getting really scared at my lack of focus on my art projects.  I told a good friend that I thought I had lost all of my talent when I stopped taking the Tramadol.  I know now that I'm only having some w/d issues as far as depression and concentration goes.  When I feel good, I want to be back doing my art, but when I'm at my worst, I could care less if I ever set foot in there again.  I hate that feeling.  It scares me because my work is one of the only things that kept me going during my worst times on the Tramadol.  I'm trying to tell myself that I have to relearn how to do things that I once did under the influence of this drug.  I don't know how I did anything to tell you the truth.  All I know is that I want to be productive again!

I had a few days where I didn't sneeze much at all.  Today I've made up for it all in just a few hours of being awake.  Again I think it has to do with my lack of  a restful sleep and being forced to get up real early.  I have NEVER been a morning person, so there's no sense in forcing that issue..ha-ha!  I'm still dealing with some annoying stomach/bowel issues and I wonder if I will ever be the same in that department?  For now, I could take an Imodium every day and be good.  I just don't know how healthy that is.  I'm trying to eat well, but it seems the better I eat the worse it gets.  Oh well, at least I'm off of the Tram still and I do see a light some where down the tunnel.  It's slow, but I hope to get there some day.

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by lupe666, Jan 27, 2009
congrats. Keep going. I have quit smokeing weed and cigerates for about a month now. If you can do it  can do it.

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