I am feeling better, except for the fact that at Day 4 when I felt like a truck had hit me more than once, I went to see my doctor. She then had me start a taper dose of vicodin(my drug of choice is Norco, but just the same). I really wish I would have just said no to that and today would be a better one.
Now I feel again like this process will take so much longer, and as most addicts, I want results and I want them NOW.
But, I will do this the healthy way...my Mom giving me my pills the day before, and me taking two in the morning and two at night, and Yes I have wanted to find any way possible to get more and cheat.
That is not an option for me, though, and maybe this way is the best so I can learn what to do during those times when I would normally grab a pill to deal. I want to find an NA meeting and try that, because I know I am powerless over these pills. I am a single parent of two children that need me. I do not want to be that Mom in 5 years that we all see on Intervention falling down passed out while her chiuldren cry in the corner. So this habit has to stop here and now.
I am going to do some Yoga today, and take a hot bath, watch a movie.
I need to find a job, yet the motivation just isn't there.
I hope this "blah" feeling goes away soon.
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