Nov 03, 2012
From the time I was a little girl, I have always dreamed of being a mommy! That is why I was so ecstatic when I took a HPT on September 13, 2012 and saw that it was positive! Me and my boyfriend of nearly 5 years were not actively trying to concieve at the time, but had talked about having a child for more than 3 years. When we first started talking about it, we just thought it would happen when it was supposed to happen, but after so long of having unprotected sex and not becoming pregnant, I was starting to believe there was something wrong. In April 2012 I finally got a great job that offers insurance and great benefits as well as pretty good pay, so I thought as soon as I am eligable for the benefits and insurance we will really start trying! I have always had irregular cycles, but Drs. have never been able to tell me why, so I never really knew when AF was going to show up. My symptoms each cycle were always different and there where many times I thought I might be pregnant, but never was.
For the first couple weeks in early September 2012 I was having very sore breast, and told my boyfriend that if AF didn't come by two weeks from the start of the soreness I was going to take a HPT. So September 13th, when I got home from work that night, I gathered my clothes and my HPT and went to take a shower. Within seconds of testing, I saw the most beautiful thing in the world! A dark red plus sign! I was soooooo excited and just could not wait until my boyfriend got home so I could tell him our exciting news! I even called him and told him to hurry home!
So the next morning I called to make my very first OB appointment which they scheduled for Tuesday the 18th. I was so excited I didn't even want to go to work, but I did. At about 8 o'clock I had to use the restroom, and saw 2 little tiny spots of brown blood in my panties. I was so scared and I could hardly focus at work. As soon as I got home I started researching and found out that it could be nothing serious. That eased my mind and I decided that if got worse or I started worrying too much I would just go to the ER. Unfortunately, the very next night at work it got worse. It seemed like I was having a period, so I knew something was wrong! I left work at 6, picked up my boyfriends mother (he was at work and could not leave right away). We were not planning on telling anyone until after my first appointment, but I had to have someone go with me! I was just too scared to go alone! So while I was crying my eyes out I had to tell her I was pregnant and tell her something was going wrong all at the same time. She was very optomistic, and made me feel a lot better about the situation.
We decided to go to a hospital that I was familiar with, rather than the hospital the OB was affiliated with which I know now was not a good decision. I will explain why. But at the hospital they ran several tests and didn't really give me any answers other than my HCG levels were "a little low" according to my estimated due date (the last time we had sex was August 10, so I should have been 5 weeks or so) and that I was RH negative and needed a RhoGam shot. They put me on bedrest for 3 days and told me to call Monday for an OB appontment on Tuesday and get my levels checked again on Monday. And that is what I did.
On Sunday I researched OBs that were affiliated with the hospital I visited the night before, and made my choice. On Monday, when I called to make the appointment, they told me I would have to see the OB that was on duty in the ER during the time of my ER visit, so they told me her name and I called. I was very disapointed that I did not have a choice in the matter, but when I went into the office on Tuesday, I went in with an open mind. I sat in the waiting room for over an hour before I got called back, then I sat down with a nurse who took down all of my health history etc... When she went into my chart to get information for the doctor I was reading everything I could! That is when I saw the HCG results from both times they were checked. On the 15th they were 560, and on the 17th they were 161. That is when I knew.
I went it to the room to wait on the Dr., and when she finally came in she was very inconsiderate and didn't try to comfort me at all. I was crying and mad and just wanted to get out of there! But I had to go back in a week to get my levels checked and the week after that to get the results. My levels had fallen below 5, and at that visit she offered to do a multiple miscarriages blood test even though I had only miscarried once just to make sure everything was fine. This was the first time I even thought she might care about my health and my future in trying to conceive. I accepted her offer and sat thru 19 vials of blood being drawn from my vein. I was scheduled to go back October 26, but had to reschedule because something at work came up.
Since I had not recieved my insurance from work yet, I had to sign up for Medicaid in order for them to see me, and in KY they only give it to you 6 weeks PP. So I was cutting it close on getting in after the 26th. When I called to reschedule they told me my doctor was out of town the following week, and they would not be able to get me in with another Dr. So I requested the results of my blood tests, and still to this day (Nov. 3) I have not been able to get ahold of anyone from the office who can give me those results.
This has been a very frustrating journey! Currently I am just waiting on AF to show up for the first time since the MC and getting more and more eager to TTC. I am now charting my CM ordering OPKs and a BBT and doing all the research I can on TTC. If I am not lucky by January, when I get my insurance through work, I will start seeing a different doctor to help me out. Might take Clomid or something! But I am trying to stay optomistic that it will happen very soon!
Thanks for reading!!