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Stressed...scared...need advice!!!

Nov 14, 2012 - 14 comments

I really don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with after I had my daughter 11/26/11 by c-section my incision got infected and broke open 12/5/11. I had a form of staff infection called pasudamonus and my incision was left open till my final surgery on 2/15/12. We moved to a new county August 2012 an I finally have my insurance transferred and a doctor picked. I go to the doctor today because I have been getting this pain on the right side a long my incision and to discuss birth control. Lone be hold at the doctor I got a bfp!!! I was surprised but not totally as af is 5 days late. So now come the stress because df is still out of work and we have 3 kids already. I've always wanted 4 kids but not right now. Df is totally against abortion and I'm against using medical help to keep the pregnancy. Meaning I don't want to use progesterone suppository again because if its ment to be then its ment to be. I'm just looking for advice and how you ladies may handle this type of situation. Also if any of you have kids about 1 1/2 years apart how is it?

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by grparker, Nov 14, 2012
:D ahhh lady i am soooo excited for you! congrats, prayying you got a sticky beanie! <3

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by JennyB0125, Nov 14, 2012
Wow I am not sure what to tell you, that is a tough situation.  All I can say is I hope everything works out for the best for you, whatever that may be.  I personally would take what I needed to help the pregnancy along, but that is just me & It all depends on your financial situation as to if you can afford the meds to do that.  How far along are you?

I have friends who have kids that far apart & they loved it, there were tough days but the kids are very close & play well together.

I am sending hugs! Whatever you chose I am here for you!

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by FreshLove, Nov 14, 2012
My advice would be to relax and let nature take its course. I would treat it as a regular pregnancy, begin your prenatal vitamins, schedule your first prenatal appointment, etc. I know the timing isn't ideal, but unfortunately life has a way of happening whether we want it to or not :/ I can understand the fear as well, as I've had a cesarean and whenever you feel scar pain it is scary. Hopefully it is just from your uterus growing and stretching the scar tissue/adhesions. Also, I'm a huge  supporter of VBAC but considering your medical history with the infection, I would plan a repeat c-section if the pregnancy progresses normally.

The important thing to remember is that a child is a blessing, especially if you planned on having a 4th eventually. It seems God has given you the gift a little earlier than expected, but try to still be grateful and happy about it. Who knows, maybe your fiance will find a job soon and things will smooth out. Try to think positive....the beginning might be difficult with 4 children & 2 under 2 plus a low income, but life won't always be like that. You and your children have YEARS ahead of you, the next few may be tough but some day you will be able to look at them as just memories and be happy that you have each other. It's easy to get caught up in the stress of today and forget that we have our whole lives ahead of us. So yes, your 4th blessing may be early, but it will hopefully be worth it in the end :)

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by Dolphin05, Nov 14, 2012
Thank you ladies so very much! Since my primary doctor is also an obgyn she took the positive hpt very serious and ordered a beta quant stat as well as a ultrasound. I go for blood work in the morning and will have ultrasound appointment scheduled by tomorrow. Since my pain has been one sides she wants to rule out eptopic pregnancy. Based on my lmp I'm 5 weeks today. It's not that I don't want to help the pregnancy by taking the progesterone, if needed, we could not afford the meds right now. When I needed them last year and had to get them from a compound pharmacy a 8 week supply was $300. I do see this as a blessing and in a way hope to have a healthy pregnancy. I just know most family won't take it well and being that we live with my uncle makes it even worse.

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by trustGodHeWilldoit, Nov 14, 2012
im agree 100% with freshlove the only thing i will add is i got preggo when my boy was 9 months im currently 17 weeks preggo i was in shock when i find out i was pregnat cause i was using protection nd i didnt want more kids but im against abortion too my Dh is not working eather he hasnt work since june of this year nd i though the same as you how im going to support one more kid i had 3 already but let me tell you girl all my bills are paid i have food on my plate each day all families nd freinds are supportive i though it going to be harder but for my surprise god has provide me everything i need for my kids and the new i know everything is going to work out for you too..congratulation try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy :)

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by JCKSON, Nov 14, 2012
I used Progesterone Pills with my daughter, then I used progesterone (cream) with my 3rd pregnancy (after my second pregnancy ended in a loss) and that pregnancy also ended in a loss. my fourth pregnancy i did away with it all..fertility drugs and progesterone anything..and the baby stuck! :) it's a possibility! congrats!

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by butterflybabies, Nov 14, 2012
Don't worry what others in the family will think. Do what's best for you. It is a blessing I'm happy for you! As for taking care of kids close in age, I always worried how I'd take care of twins pretty much alone (dh helps on his days off). I worried my entire pregnancy and even after they came home. Sometimes I still wonder but you find you groove and you just do it. It feels like I just knew how to take care of 2 babies at once. Don't worry you'll do fine :)

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by Dolphin05, Nov 14, 2012
@trustgodhewilldoit thank you so much for your words of advice. We were also using protection and avoiding sex around when I thought I was ovulating. Yeah my bills are paid, my kids have clothes, and food to eat but money is very tight. All I can and will do is wait and see how it goes. I really would like to try for a vbac though.

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by Dolphin05, Nov 14, 2012
@jckson thank you, that just have me hope!
@butterflybabbies I know it's not my family members lives its mine. It's just harder not to care what they think when you live with them. I know I'll find my grove and in time everything will get easier. With everything you have gone through with your boys I applaud you. My cousin has twin boys that are 1 day older then Payton...I see how tough it is.

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by trustGodHeWilldoit, Nov 14, 2012
i know what you mean about money being tight is not easy but things will get better eventually we dont know what god has in plan for us the same way god blessed you with a baby you were not expecting the same way he will bless you finacially when you not expect it..god work wonders trust him :)

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by Dolphin05, Nov 16, 2012
Well my hcg quant came back at 83.74...was drawn yesterday at 4 weeks 5 days. Not sure what to think...seem low to me!

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by retta483, Nov 18, 2012
I had my kids some of them very close together my closests ones are 13 months apart It will be ok The only thing is diddent you have a iud ?  well every thing will work out hun try not to stress babies are a blessing ! im on cycle 31 and still trying for that last baby ;)

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by Dolphin05, Nov 18, 2012
No I did not have an iud, I have not been on any birth control since having my dd. Babies are very much so a blessing. Going to doctor for another blood draw and ultrasound results tomorrow. Is there any certain place in the uterus a baby should attach to?

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by Dolphin05, Nov 19, 2012
Well the ultrasound showed nothing in my uterus or tubes. Repeat ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday at 7am and labs.
11/15 hcg 83
11/19 hcg 582

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