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Don't know what to do anymore.

Dec 02, 2012 - 4 comments

high school


suicidal thoughts


need help

Well, if you read about my profile you can see that I'm 15. I have been suspended until Thursday from school-but I don't want to talk about it. Before I got suspended, I cut myself and still do and I have suicidal thoughts sometimes. My parents are thinking about divorcing and I blame myself fully for it. My parents and I don't communicate that much anymore. I've pushed away from friends and family and I don't know what to do. I don't have the guts to cut my wrists, but I cut my ankles. There's a part of me that wants my life to be over and another part of me still wants to be alive. I have told my very close friends that I cut myself, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm fed up and tired of trying.

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by Ginger077, Dec 03, 2012
I came across your post.  Im glad you found medhelp.  I hope that you can find some support here to help you deal with some of the issues you are experiencing.  Life is SO precious!!  If you dont feel comfortable speaking to your parents about how your feeling please consider speaking to your school counselor.  The sooner you start talking out your troubles the sooner you will start to recover from this.
Best of luck to you Jackie!

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by gilkesy, Dec 03, 2012
please know that we are all here to support eachother and nothing is too bad that it can't be solved. there are so many things in life to be grateful for and you have many years left to have some wonderful experiences and find happiness. the world is your oyster. xx

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by jay774, Dec 03, 2012
Thank you Ginger and Gilkesy. I will think about talking to my school counselor. Thanks!

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by hepD, Dec 04, 2012
I just came across your post. First of all, please, please, please do not blame yourself/take responsibility for your parents struggles - they are adults and should be responsible for their own issues/choices they make. Unfortunately, their children get caught in the crossfire and sometimes need to be reminded that they are in no way responsible. But, I am sorry to hear your parents are struggling and causing you grief and pain. Try to remember that nothing is permanent and  these types of issues do tend to resolve themselves over time. Secondly, you should talk to someone about your sadness and your withdrawal. Please go to a counselor and try to be as honest with him/her as possible, or reach out to an adult that you feel safe around - preferably both and soon. Cutting gives one a sense of control and an endorphin high. Is there anything you can do that interests you (a healthy activity at school perhaps - sports, art?) that can give you a sense of self-efficacy, a sense of belonging, sometime worthwhile that can help to distract you from your homelife? I am glad you are reaching out to the women on medline. There are some beautiful, wonderful women here who would be glad to message with you. But, please talk to a counselor as soon as you can.

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