Mar 11, 2008
I know that all my journal entries sound the same and have a similar theme but I feel as if I am drowning in my emotions. I feel guilty and sorry for everything. Part of me wants to turn back time and make things different but this happened for a reason, so that I could learn from this and move on. Of course it is a struggle and it is a f***ing tough one. Somedays are more challenging than other. Yesterday and today seem really bad, I would rather be having the withdrawals symptoms than this depression feeling. It doesn't help that last night I didn't get a minute of sleep. My left side of my face is throbbing because I either have a sinus infection or a cavity that is infected. That is what the dr in ER told me when I was there at 3:30 AM because I couldn't take it anymore. I thought I had TMJ and they would give me a muscle relaxers and I would feel better. No such luck, I have Amoxicillian and you all know how long that takes to kick in. I really want to curl up in bed and not get out but I have responsibilities. Number 1 to my son, number 2 to my job. I just am having a really hard day and wondering when things will start looking up again. WHEN?? Please help me, I am tired of feeling like this and I don't want to go back to feeling nothing either.