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New members posting questions

Dec 17, 2012 - 18 comments

I'm guilty of this at times myself, but I wanted to call attention to something I've noticed and that I want to personally work on.......

There are new members coming to the forum every day.  Some lurk without the nerve to "post a question" for some time.  When we ignore their posts and continue to post on the same thread over and over and over to help someone else, what they see from that is that we don't care about them or want to help.  I know that some members come on here like me.  They read the first few from the top and answer a few and then take off to the next thing going on in our lives.  We don't realize what we just did to their confidence.  It makes them even more afraid to post anything else and at the very worst, they feel that no one wants them here, so they end up keeping on using.  We don't want that, do we?  Don't we want to help everybody that we can?

If someone doesn't feel like they have any important help for that person, how about just some comfort and encouragement for them until someone else comes along who can help more.  

I think that leaving them all alone without a single comment on their thread is tough to take,  We can at least take the time to write some encouraging words for everyone that we can!  I'm as guilty as anyone to ignore a thread, thinking that someone who knows more about it will come along and bail me out!!!  I just think that new people are so important here and they're vulnerable and need immediate attention if possible.  

We ALL have something in common and something to offer.  The common thread is addiction, regardless of drug of choice!  I'm just asking that everyone take the time to look for those threads that don't have any comments, and jump in there and give them a nice word or even say, "I don't know for sure, but how are you doing today?"  Or whatever.  

I hope no one thinks I'm being bossy, but some feelings may get hurt and they may never come back.  I don't want that responsibility to be on me!!!  And I want to see as many people get clean as I can possibly help!!!  I remember very well how scared that I was when I first posted, and I got lots of support.  It was my lifeline.  I'd like to give that back especially with new folks whose confidence and fear issues may keep them from ever posting again because they're afraid no one will post back to them.  It takes a LOT of nerve to do this!  We don't need to forget that!

Most of you know I'm bossy anyway! : ) BUT......let's all just work a little harder to include everyone.  I think that will be my new goal!  I owe this forum and my friends on it a lot for me staying clean this long!  Personally, I would like to pay that forward as much as I can!!!

Thanks for reading!!  

Love to you all!

Lea Ann

Comments
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4341997 tn?1514588688
by toothfairie, Dec 17, 2012
i agree Lea Ann....i've posted a few comments on things i don't know anything about....but i know not enough....if it wasn't for people jumping right on my post and being so nice and helping me....i prolly wouldn't have come back and prolly wouldn't have made it 30 days....

i will try to at least encourage people on posts when i can....and pay it forward as well  :)

Avatar universal
by vicki595, Dec 17, 2012
You ARE bossy and I love that about you!

Avatar universal
by selfinduced, Dec 17, 2012
I couldn't agree more. Great point and post. I too am guilty of this and making a conscious effort to branch out. Thank you Lee ann.

4149717 tn?1389503561
by Teresa1717, Dec 17, 2012
You are Bossy, and right! :) Im all seriousness though If it hadnt been for people reaching out to me when I first joined, and not just bypassing my post, I may not have stayed, but certainly not have reposted again. Thanks for bringing attention to this. I will certainly try to make more of an effort :)

Avatar universal
by cleanguy, Dec 17, 2012
I've noticed that as well... great reminder!

4204073 tn?1361831476
by YesLife4Me, Dec 17, 2012
Totally agree and guilty as well.    I try to remember how I felt when nobody was responding to my early posts and I really, really needed to hear from someone.  

2107676 tn?1388973859
by Pat1956100, Dec 17, 2012
Great post.  I try and stay away from posts about subs or meth as I have no experience with them but welcoming people is always a good thing to do.

3060903 tn?1398565123
by Nighthawk61, Dec 17, 2012
THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT MESSAGE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BRINGING AND PAYING IT FORWARD, I CERTAINLY WILL TRY TO DO MORE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FEW TO NONE ANSWERS ON THEIR QUESTIONS...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS THOUGHT, WE ALL NEEDED TO HEAR IT......



Avatar universal
by LeaAnn807, Dec 17, 2012
Thanks so much y'all!  I was afraid that might not be too well received! LOL I didn't wanna seem to point fingers at anyone, as I am so guilty of it too.  I just don't think any of us realize how much it probably happens.  We lose enough people here to relapse, even when we are posting and helping.  I would never want anyone to feel unsupported and just keep using because they didn't know how to stop or how to get support!  I'm gonna work on this.  I just wanted to see if anyone else had noticed it.  I may not have advice for everyone, but I can throw some encouragement at them and maybe get them talking until someone comes along who CAN help them!

Thanks again, y'all!  I've got the best friends on here that a girl could ask for.  I'm glad y'all are gonna jump in there with me and get some love spread around to the new folks!

Vicki, Teresa........y'all ain't exactly "not bossy" yourselves!!! Hahahahahahahahaha

4149717 tn?1389503561
by Teresa1717, Dec 18, 2012
Says the queen boss! :)

Avatar universal
by LeaAnn807, Dec 18, 2012
"Sticks and stones.........."  : )

Avatar universal
by NeedingHope4Me, Dec 18, 2012
This post was amazingly perfect.I was TERRIFIED to press that button and send my first post and the only reason I can say I am where I am now is because of actually quite a few above me LOL thanks guys for responding to a newbie like me when you did..It was my lifeline and still is.I will remember to post a hello and anything else I can from now on..Thanks for the kick in the pants ;)

4149717 tn?1389503561
by Teresa1717, Dec 18, 2012
hahahaha awww doll, you know Im just joshing ya  :)


3120424 tn?1347170032
by Brightfutureahead, Dec 18, 2012
Good point LeaAnn...I think in general we seem to do a pretty good job covering posts, however I have noticed a slight dip (some threads are heavy, some don't get much at all). I myself can do more- thanks for the reminder!  

xo
Leanne

535822 tn?1443976780
by margypops, Dec 18, 2012
Yes good point LeaAnn I have also noticed that , perhaps this journal will help ..well done

Avatar universal
by brokenhearted0909, Dec 23, 2012
Ive just recently come to this forum and  have already recieved some encouragement from some members. Its so nice to hear that there are people like me who have struggled with addiction.  Addiction has been in my family with different drugs of choice.  I really didnt think i had a problem till my marriage was put on the line.  Im glad to know that there are people out there who can give encouragement and understanding unconditionally.  Love to all!!!  
Merry Christmas to all of you.

3200158 tn?1386592717
by kkcopacetic, Dec 23, 2012
guilty as charged, lee ann....ido tend to forget the pain and misery.....you are a beacon of hope, girl.....kk

Avatar universal
by hopefully2013, Feb 18, 2013
I know you posted this awhile ago but I wanted to say thanks. I know I'm scared of posting

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