Feb 21, 2009
This is too much. Really. Too much.
Allow me to explain.
My BEST FRIEND (Savana), the person I would entrust with my very LIFE, got a boyfriend. Again. First two relationships did not end well. Here's the thing: HER BOYFRIEND PISSES ME OFF. He's annoying, he's arrogant, he's full of himself, he's a total jerk! He isn't good enough for her!
But here's what I'm upset about.
At lunch, me and my friends sit at the same table. Shawn (Savana's bf) ALWAYS SITS BY HER. I really wish he'd just leave.
On Thursday, I was calling him names (jokingly, of course), and Savana took me too seriously. She got pissed and moved to the end of the table and stopped talking to be for the rest of the lunch period.
When I got home, my mom told me that Savana had called her, nearly in TEARS, saying that I had been calling Shawn names and she felt that she was going to have to take sides soon.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
NEARLY IN TEARS?
It gets worse.
On MySpace, she had set her status as: "Savana is mad at a certain someone, and loving another."
She certainly isn't loving me. And 100% of the time when she says a "certain someone", she means me.
BUT SHE IS OH-SO-LOVING HER BOYFRIEND SHE'S ONLY BEEN DATING FOR TWO MONTHS, OBVIOUSLY MORE THAN HER BEST FRIEND.
And Friday, she didn't even talk to me, didn't even spare me a single glance. She didn't sit with me at lunch.
Plus, in the hallway, when I was walking to one of my classes, I looked ahead and saw Savana and Shawn, talking and laughing and looking so happy.
That made me want to throw myself in front of a speeding vehicle. (Long time no see, Suicidal Thoughts.)
I've been replaced. She doesn't need me anymore. She has Shawn now, who is obviously so much better than me.
The worst part is, Savana was a major part of my life.
I can't remember a single happy moment in my childhood in which she wasn't present.
I can't imagine what life would be like without her.
But I guess I'm going to have to start soon.
Even if this all blows over, I can never trust her as much as I used to. Ever. Our friendship can never go back to that.
After being someone's best friend for several years, and then just being replaced by some guy that she's been dating for TWO MONTHS, you start to be a little.. untrusting, don't you think?
This is ridiculous. I feel so empty and alone right now. And I'd love to talk to someone, but she's the only one I ever talk to.
HEY. HERE'S SOMETHING FUNNY:
SHE GETS TO SPEND ALL WEEKEND WITH ME. ISN'T THAT NICE?
I'll post more on this as it happens. -_-