Jan 05, 2013
I don't know about you but my pattern through out my life including my clean
time, recovery occurs in different areas not all at once, has been a roller coaster ride of wonderful success and dismal failure. Changing those past behaviors we no longer wish to deal with is something grander than just being clean. That is why I try to educate so often because the traps that are set when so many use loose cliques, concepts, and words when RECOVERY is spoken about.
I have done some marvelous wonderful things in my time around recovery. Gestures of compassion, care, and concern that were not me before I found them in these rooms, I am humbled by the man I am becoming and so grateful to those that led the way.
That being said and realizing I am not reflecting on the past but currently once again going through an area of my past that has been far too common for me. I am feeling the joy of another year soon to be celebrated and someone who chose to return to the struggle after 12 years around the rooms as I continued on to my 24th is celebrating my day with me. These factors have contributed along with now processing my mothers’ passing in 2000 from Alzheimer’s have given me a new direction and incentive to deal with my repeated pattern of going into lazy, slacker, bum mode after achieving financial and or academic success.
The journey can take us places not intended or desired, what I know for me is that the journey has given me far more than I asked for or expected or thought I deserved.
Best of everything to you on your journey,