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TTC break at 45?

Jan 11, 2013 - 14 comments

Feeling overwhelmed and like I want to take 2-3 months off from thinking about TTC (or even saving money for DE). This whole thing has been an obsession for me for almost 4 years. I will turn 45 in one month. But I think I just don't have it in me right now and need a break. We work so hard for our money and I spend all of it on supplements, doctors, etc. I just want to do fun things with it for a while. (buy myself a keyboard, take voice lessons, get new headshots and start auditioning again, etc.) Music was the most important thing in my life for a very long time and now it is nonexistent. I just need to have more joy in my life and my DH deserves that too. The poor guy had hardly any clothes until recently.

I just feel like, even though having a baby is the most important thing in the world to me, I need to prioritize better for the sake of our sanity and our marriage. We're not having problems or anything, but I figure we should start to think about this kind of thing before we do. He's been amazing. He wants a baby as much as I do. He has been patient with me on the roller coaster with my health. He has happily let me spend all of our money on supps, doctors, acu, hypnotherapy, and so on. I just really need a break. At 45 and with a 95% chance we'll need to use DE, does it really make a difference if we wait a few months?

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1351078 tn?1416316746
by retta483, Jan 11, 2013
I dont think so what is a few months . watch you get pregnant  when not trying :)

922048 tn?1387946184
by Sherri90049, Jan 11, 2013
Thanks, Loretta! That would be quite a surprise! :)

1396867 tn?1433524301
by hopeitworks, Jan 11, 2013
I think a break is  good idea. If you feel you need it then you listen to your body, Sometimes we need to step back and refocus on what we have right in front of us, Best of luck as always!!!

1293683 tn?1334022810
by tones99, Jan 11, 2013
I think they sounds like such a great plan. I know that feeling of everything revolving around ttc and losing sight of all else. We definitely had times where we would just forget the whole thing and get back to our old lives for a bit. Totally recharging!

You are always so strong Sherri. Both for yourself and others. It's time to give yourself a break from that amazing strength and just indulge yourself. You completely deserve it!!!

1386765 tn?1451167937
by pb95, Jan 11, 2013
I was thinking the same thing. I have some really great job opportunities coming up finally and would missing a few months really matter in the big picture? You have a great plan coming up and might as well rest and breathe before you get to it for a couple months because I totally believe it is going to work.

1571146 tn?1399913292
by Moma_Cher, Jan 11, 2013
You are always so strong just like Toni said. It's time for you to do what makes you happy. I agree a few months won't be a big deal and I fully understand wanting to refocus on saving for DE but it just seems like so much money... And I know how frustrating and unattainable it seems!!

You are so beautiful inside and out Sherri... Treat yourself for a while. Take those vocal lessons.... Get your photos done... Be KIND to yourself. You are very wise to look out for the happiness of your marriage before it becomes an issue. Sometimes I wonder if I haven't slipped across an invisible line in that regard.

Sending you a big hug!!

922048 tn?1387946184
by Sherri90049, Jan 11, 2013
You guys are so amazing! Thank you so much! It's such a hard decision, but I just know we're both not happy with our lives in general (even though we're happy with each other). We can do better. We deserve better and deserve to be happier than we are. Hopefully we will be blessed with a baby soon enough, but for now, I just don't have any fight left. And I'm tired of having no spending (or saving) money left every single month even though we have two pretty decent salaries.

Just found out we're going to Vegas in a couple of weeks (both work and pleasure), which is where we got married. I'm very excited! Will be great to go back and visit there and get to relive those wonderful memories!

Thanks for your undying support! Love you all so much!

334926 tn?1436815123
by butterflybabies, Jan 11, 2013
I think putting this on hold and enjoying yourself is a great idea. Sometimes you need it for your sanity and to rejuvenate yourself. I love that your dh is so understanding and sticks by your side no matter what. Especially when ttc takes so much out of you. Sorry I haven't been around much lately, my boys have me going all day. It's easier for me to post on fb then here and most of the time I only have a few min to post a pic lol. I wish you lived closer cause then you can come cuddle my boys anytime you want. Hopefully in June when you come here you will get to spend more time and you can cuddle them all day! Lol

1806883 tn?1458324604
by stacey10, Jan 11, 2013
take your break :) we all need one thats for sure and if your still just as determined regarding the baby you will start again all refreshed :) as the others have said its good to take a break and refocus and spend special time with your hubby, we actually all need to do this, although many of us dont and in the end our relationships do suffer.... seriously think about doing DE overseas.... it really is a low cost affordable option for many, (although our mortgage maynot agree :)  )

922048 tn?1387946184
by Sherri90049, Jan 12, 2013
Thanks Stacey! We're definitely doing it overseas. Probably Finland. But even 7,400 Euros is a fortune for us. :( Just want to have a few months of fun before getting going on this. I hope I don't regret it. :) I'm so excited for your trip! It's coming up, right?

1172642 tn?1352019898
by DaylightDancer, Jan 12, 2013
I'm so sorry you are so overwhelmed. A break is probably just what you need right now. To eliminate stress and to get your health back 100%. Always here for you! Hang in there. :)

1806883 tn?1458324604
by stacey10, Jan 12, 2013
well you could look at greece or czech republic they both cost 4500 euro so thats even cheaper, thats the only reason why we are doing it, we cant really afford it either thats why we have combined it with a holiday, we are considered low income earners in australia, we do have a house (well the bank does ) lol, thats how we are doing it, probably spending the kids inheratence but you only live once ;)

1804812 tn?1329681157
by sadiegirl69, Jan 12, 2013
Your words are inspiring and so insightful.  It sounds like exactly what you need...more joy and less stress. And after 4 years, that is precisley what you should do.  I might take a cue from you and do the same.

961574 tn?1505958942
by mhv, Jan 30, 2013
You know, that's a great idea!!

Sherri, you are going to be a mom....that is a given.  You are willing to go the distance to become one, and I know you will be successful.  You and your husband have a wonderful marriage, which is hard to find in this day and time....enjoy this time with him.  The time of just you 2. :).   It will be short lived....soon, whether with donor eggs, or your own, you will be doing late night feelings, and have your time filled with you little one(s).  

Enjoy Vegas!!! It's one of my top 3 places in the world!!!  Lol....

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