All Journal Entries Journals


Feb 05, 2013 - 4 comments

Dear me,
Do you remember when you were young, when you saw life as a magical wonderland, with talking animals and super heros that saved lives. When you would watch TV, dress up as your favourtie super hero, and pretend that you had special powers too. When those little legs would travel to various places, and may have stumbled every now and then, but got back up....and you kept smiling. Or even when you would sing to 'The Wiggles?'
Do you remember the days you spent carrying around your toy rabbit, that was almost bigger than you, and you loved it too much to let it go..... Do you remember you birthday parties with all your little friends, and even when you were scared of that man dressed up in an Easter bunny costume. Do you remember those fears you had which now make you laugh?
Do you remember when you loved your family? Or when you accidentally killed your pet fish, by feeding it breakfast, lunch and dinner, thinking that if you didnt they would starve....
Do you remember loving your grandad, when you would play tennis with him in the backyard, or when he held you as a baby, and you knew that he was the father-figure in your life. What about when you danced 'Hips dont lie', by Shakira in the backyard, and dedicated it to your grandfather?
Do you remember when you had that kindergarden crush, who you said you would one day marry?

What ever happened to that innocence that made life so joyful? Where did the time go? Where am i now?
Letting go of life now, would be like letting go of that rabbit i held so dearly before. That rabbit, although just a toy, was a piece of me, and of course as you grow older, you grow out of these things, but you can never substitute life.
But also as time goes by you never realise that your life could change automatically for only one reason. Your sense of belonging, your strength, your joy....all destroyed. All this, because of a little something called being a 'teenager'.

Life through the eyes of a child is like living in a fantasy, but once reality creeps in, your life can be turned upside down. God do i wish i could live in that fantasy again! In that fantasy where life actually meant something.....

Post a Comment
3060903 tn?1398568723
by Nighthawk61, Feb 05, 2013
You're going through a stage right now, and it's rough, but your life will change again, when you put in the work, and feel proud of all your efforts. I think you need a coach, a therapist to help you see that these transition years will turn into something solid, and familiar......

God Bless you Darlin' Keep sharing, keep listening, and put in the work. Look at my journal pages on how to deal with anxiety naturally. You need to adopt some self help techniques dear. Put in the work, and you will find your happiness again.

3060903 tn?1398568723
by Nighthawk61, Feb 05, 2013
By the way, you write beautifully Marcy.

Avatar universal
by MandyCake, Feb 05, 2013
Wow, I concur with Nighthawk61...  you write beautifully.  Your words come alive on paper and I feel drawn into that fantasy with you.

Recently in therapy we were asked to think of a happy place... aka... a fantasy place where we felt safe, happy, at peace and write it down... then spend time each day re-reading this and feeling the emotions it brings so that in difficult times, we can escape in our minds to our "happy place."  Sort of a form of meditation, used to calm emotional intensity episodes.

There is a psychologist named Erickson who wrote about the various stages of development and the challenges each stage face.  If you can check with your local library for it.  

I wonder, do you have a peer support network you could join? Just something to consider.  It is difficult being a teenager but rest assured, this time will pass and all too quickly.  Try to find something daily that makes you smile and yes, while the past is behind you, the good within your memories stays with you and remains a piece of you.

Be safe and be well.

4059843 tn?1516799521
by mishymoshymarcy, Feb 06, 2013
Wow....i never imagined that i would get compliments about my writing. I want to thank you for that, that alone made me feel heaps better. As you can see i do not believe in myself and soemtimes need soem reasurance. Thanks :)

Post a Comment