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Feb 19, 2013 - 4 comments

It seems that sadness and dissapointment are my friends.I work hard to get my attitude better and then I look at the reality of it all.Most people don't know they have so much to be grateful for do they?I lie to myself on a daily basis and say "It really does;nt matter" but it does  matter to me.I know some of you can relate but few have no one at all like me.I have people on Medhelp?Don't get me wrong I have learned about sincerety and real compassion still exists.from you all.
I get flowers from the Man occasionally.Valentines,Birthday all those appropriate days but i WOULD have other things if the truth known.Kids posting on Facebookabout how to support all the Veteran's and bring those in Afghanistan home.Nice,but where is your Mother?The youngest mad at brother and doesn't like him anymore because of his mental state right now.Son why are you so unkkind and don't care that I am sick?they have all dumped me every last one of them I ache and cry and cry more.Is this life worth it?If no one elde cares what do I have left?

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4043517 tn?1374010173
by mckansas, Feb 19, 2013
Just walked outside,  looked at the night sky and enjoyed the cold stars wondering if I 'll see another February, remember the great autumn bike rides in the changing colors before I crashed and burned,  wonder if I'll see another fall.  I guess just try to enjoy each day, I'm lucky to have some great kids, but I do have two older brothers who want nothing to do with me because I married a **** head,  but that is over now and I'm not going to dwell on others non acceptance,  just muddle thru each day. What's the worst that could happen? Ha its better to have hope with esld than incurable cancer I believe, I gain more acceptance of my condition each day. Hang in there.

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by aheart, Feb 19, 2013
I am sorry for your sadness but I certainly understand where you are coming from. Did you have a hard time bringing them up? Do your childern maybe blame you for that? Do they know that you love them? Alot of childern don't appreciate their parents until they are gone, sadly. Maybe put your energies into another passion. By the way how old are your kids? It might be that they are young and self-absorbed, like alot are. I think you would be amazed at how many others are in your same situation! Join the church, volunteer, visit nursing homes, there are alot of old people who never get a visit. When your kids notice you finding yourself in other areas, they might come around or not but at least you won't be dwelling on it. Good luck

3211536 tn?1359389169
by creewoman, Feb 20, 2013
Those kids know I would give up everything I own for them.The oldest is 34 the other is 32 and down the line to the youngest 13.Six of them in all!
McKansas I am sorry that we are so sick.I do not have HE but had it in the past 13 years ago.The last pregnancy put me in class C liver failure.I have edema in one foot but tha'ts it.I have no ascites and no varices.Just  really financially challenged and depressed and sad,who wouldn't be?Do you have a smoke alarm?I set two timers when I am cooking partly because I have an awful kitchen range and because I space out and burn things a little at times.Slow-cooker is my buddy.Do you have one? Make sure to get a smoke alarm.I bet the dog was really worried!What kind of dog do you have?Somehow I picture a big snuggley one.:)

4507179 tn?1355636492
by campqueen, Feb 20, 2013
hey gave me a chuckle and a grin when I read this last post  :)  abot the spacing out and burning things  ...i catch myself being very distracted at washing empty loads of laundry...and leaving the fire on under a skillet, while I put something up, fed the dogs, answered the phone, helped with homework, etc etc.etc...hahaha....gonna go check my smoke alarm (the 11 year old prob robbed it of its batteries since I haven't heard it go off lately!)...I agree with aheart...being involved helps give your life meaning if that is what you think your life lacks...i am a girlscout leader, boyscout leader, pta volunteer as well as a teacher...but  understand your loneliness...sometimes i think we misplace our expectations...and then those people don't meet them and we feel alienated and unloved...been there, done that! my kids aren't the warmest and most giving either...but as the expression says "Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"

:) hang in there

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