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Tuesday, worst day ever!

Feb 20, 2013 - 24 comments

So I knew all along and yesterday confirmed.  It's DH :(   If I knew it all along, why does it hurt so much more to actually hear it?  

Total sperm is less   <5.0  :(
Volume is normal
Viscosity is normal
PH is normal
Motility is only 20% :(

Rapidly Progressive (whatever this is) is 20%
Immotile is 80% :(
Concentration is <5.0 :(

They want him to see a urologists(sp) and we'll go from there.  I PRAY this is just a vitamin thing and not something more severe.  I've always suspected him of having varicocele vein in his testicles, but him being my first I assumed all testicles looked like that.  Anyways, IF it's that we will not have the surgery to fix it..it's not a guarantee anyways.  

I've cried..still crying..still nauseous.  He cried because I was soo upset and now he's worried how I'll handle being told that we can't fix it.   I hate this so bad..  My childhood was sh1t..it was awful and Brian pulled me through!!  Now this??  I don't know how I'll deal with being told it can't be fixed..I can't even hardly handle this!   We'll be married going on 14 years this year and I've always wanted a "lil us" running around..I pray that is still a possiblity.  Anwyays, TY ladies sooo much for everything.  The kind words, the thoughts and prayers.  You all are so wonderful and I truely appreciate the friends I've made here.  TYSM!

This IS never ending. :(
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1515688 tn?1328154624
by teci66, Feb 20, 2013
I've heard that FertilAid for Men can help.  My BIL had almost ZERO sperm and he took this stuff for about 2 months and her was up to 54 million!!  So, don't lose hope just yet!
{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}

1045727 tn?1463746583
by Vantom, Feb 20, 2013
Im so sorry sis :( dont give up!! your time is coming dont worry im praying for u and dh so much!! *mwuah* ssbd <3

922048 tn?1387946184
by Sherri90049, Feb 20, 2013
I'm so sorry you had to get this news. But in some ways it's good to know what's wrong and make a plan. This isn't an area I'm an expert in, but I do remember reading plenty of women were able to help their DH's sperm with supplements. Fertil-Aid for Men is supposed to be great! I posted more info on it below.

"...Data from an independent, placebo-controlled, "gold standard" clinical study indicates that the use of the supplement, FertilAid for Men, resulted in marked improvements in male fertility and sperm health. Specifically, the results of this important study reveal that taking FertilAid for Men significantly increases "total normal sperm motility" - with a tendency toward an "increase in total mobile sperm count"...." Here is a link to the study: http://www.fertilaid.com/clinicalstudy.asp

Here is a list of Fertil-Aid for Men's ingredients and how they help male fertility: http://www.fertilaid.com/male-fertility.asp. Another supplement that's supposed to help alot is L-Arginine. It increases blood flow to the area.

Hang in there! Try to think positive that after a month or two of taking something like Fertil-Aid for Men there will be marked improvements in his sperm count. It doesn't take a perfect SA to be able to have a baby either! I think it will all work out even if you need to do an IUI or something to help your chances. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

1742167 tn?1436475320
by heather727, Feb 20, 2013
Oh sweetie, I'm SO sorry to here this. I was really praying for better news for you. :(

At least you know what's going on and why after 14 years you haven't been able to conceive. I know it hurts now, but I believe knowing is better than not. It may be something that can be fixed or helped without surgery. I don't know what your situation or comfort level with interventions is, but you could try IVF too. And technically, you always have the option to use donor sperm - I know that isn't ideal but it's still a possibility for you.

I'll continue to pray that everything works out for you. Sending you huge hugs!!

982214 tn?1471458381
by krichar, Feb 20, 2013
I'm so sorry... I know its hard to hear but like everyone else said, now you know. And it's no where's near to hopeless :) there are so may options out there. I have known people who had the varicocle vein with worse results then your DH, had the surgery and went on to have babies :) there's iui, there's vitamins.... Please don't lose hope :)

2020005 tn?1476662562
by KTowne, Feb 20, 2013
I'm praying for you, hoping it's nothing serious!

4850031 tn?1361062518
by emilia105, Feb 20, 2013
I'm so sorry. I think that hearing someone confirm what you already know makes it more real and that's why it hurts so much. However, don't loose hope just yet. There are treatments for men that do wonders.  There are also fertility clinics out there that can assist you in getting preggers.  I think that as long as you can get pregnant and stay pregnant it will be much easier for a fertility clinic to isolate just one sperm, that's all you need, just one :)
I pray for you and hope all works out for you!

2100308 tn?1388500439
by Yrmacias, Feb 20, 2013
Des, I'm so sorry you got this news, but itsnot the end of the road. Its only the begining of your diagnosis and you can only move forward from here. Like Sherri90049 said and I'm also not an expert, buy him FertilAid and L-Carginine. Have him take it for a couple months and then have him retest. I know at times it could be just a simple diet change or something so lets hope and pray that is your case. I've come across many ppl on this site who DHs had low s/a and they got BFP. Ask your RE about Clomid for your DH if that is even an option.
I know this news is difficult for you to process, but please take your DH feelings into consideration right now as well. Give him hope as well, tell him you've heard of sucess stories so he doesnt give up hope and is willing to try stuff, so you to can find a solution and get your dream. xoxo

1351078 tn?1416316746
by retta483, Feb 20, 2013
I'm so sorry:( but I think even with a low count  It will be possible with help . Ive heard of clomid for men as well as zinc and magnesium helping . now you can get a plan going . keep the faith ! I know its hard but the baby is the prize that comes at the end of hard work. praying for you !!

2066718 tn?1431147169
by TTC2006, Feb 20, 2013
Definitely look into vitamins.  This is just one sample.  It can go up or down a lot over the course of time.   It takes about 90 days for sperm to regenerate, so what ever was happening 90 days before that s/a can make a difference.  

Get him on some antioxidants, and I second the L-carnitine.   A men's multi vitamin for prostrate health can help.  I also had my DH on lots of other things too, vitamin b,c,d,e, co-enzyme q10, selenium, zinc, pycnogenol, lycopene, and a few other things that I can't remember.  I don't know if one specific thing worked or if it was the combo, but his count went from 29 million total to 69 million then to 99 million.   IUI can definitely work too, especially if he has good morphology.  

It's not hopeless and it is good to have a reason.  Hang in there!

2066718 tn?1431147169
by TTC2006, Feb 20, 2013
I also wanted to ask, is it 5 million per ml?  

3233386 tn?1447028295
by mandaszoo, Feb 20, 2013
I feel very sorry for you and DH . I am no expert but I recently read that walnut oil taken every day can help sperm quality. You can find it in the supermarket by the olive oils. Just remember it only takes 1 healthy sperm. Hope you can find a solution and become a mummy. Take care

342693 tn?1425625076
by bfromthed, Feb 20, 2013
They have treatments for this. He needs a better diet, vitamins and a script from a dr. Keep praying maybe its a underlying issue that wont be so hard to resolve.

790669 tn?1465192699
by Des_a_rae, Feb 20, 2013
Thank yall so much.  Just kinda in a blah today.  I have read ALOT about FertilAid for men and that's definitely something we're going to try.  Ladies I honestly feel hopeless.  DH doesn't have insurance.  I have individual insurance because of all my "female" problems.  We have alot of our money in our land and getting it ready to build on :(..everything for him is out of pocket.  I was crying yesterday and he asked.."what did you want, it to be you?" and I said "yes, because I have the insurance and it would've paid for me!!".   The visit to the urologists is $150 which is no big deal..I got lucky and since MY dr. ordered DH's SA it only cost $64..but if we had just came in off the street and requested one it would've been $178..I was SO thankful of that.  Anyways, I'm in a pickle..  I think I'm going to go ahead with my dr. , get the lap scheduled and go in there see what's up with my hurting and everything..in the mean time get DH the FertilAid and start on that..and get him in to the urologists just to see what's up.  I'm sure from the first visit we can learn alot.  The reason I feel hopeless is because since he doesn't have insurance and my insurance covers NOTHING for fertility..no meds, no IUI's NO IVF's..ugh.. and IF the dr. wants to do tests (which I'm sure he will)..how can I come up with the money for that?  We have no credit cards and I never wanted one..UNTIL NOW..it sure would come in handy.  Anyways, just trying to piece together a plan here and trying to keep what little bit of hope I have left.   What do you ladies think?  

Also TTC the paper says..Volume 4.1 ml  
Concentration is <5.0 X 10E6 /ml
Total Motile is <5.0X10E6
Does that help any?  I don't understand this hardly at all..I just know out beside most of it says.."Below Normal Low".   It has reference interval numbers and I'm just comparing his numbers to those numbers.

I love DH so much and he means the world to me. I told him yesterday no matter the outcome it would not make me love him any less.  He's been my rock from day 1 and there's nothing we can't get through together..no matter what happens.  Going on 14 years and I'd go back and do it all again. If things hadn't of happened the way they did (with my childhood) he might not be in my life now and for that I'm thankful. He's wonderful and I'm so in love.

1217293 tn?1467357944
by Risa615, Feb 20, 2013
Des, I know a lot is going in with you. I will write you an email tonight. One step at a time, take a deep breath and make DH's appt. If down the road you try an iui, you can without meds, just have to pay for ultrasound for a follie check and procedure costs. They check on you to see if you have at least one follie growing, then they have you come back after opk goes positive. You drop off sperm that day and procedure a few hrs later. Get Fertilaid for you are well. It will help your follies grow and you ovulate earlier, I have mentioned this to you before.  Glad you are getting a lap. The good news is you are still young, so if it takes time to do stuff, no worries! Hugs,
Risa

1396867 tn?1520813858
by hopeitworks, Feb 20, 2013
Des- I am so sorry to hear your Dh is partof the issue. Having endometriosis also makes you a part of the problem and I am SOOO Happy to read that you are going to have the lap. Lets get you the reflief you deserve while DH works on himself. Make sure they check ur tubes run the dye etc while they do the lap. That way you can determine are you a canidate for IUI or do you need IVF. Also we have a wonderful group of woman here and many sources of information so I wouldnt worry about the cost of IUI or IVF and meds. Just take it one day at a time, and it will all come togther. You havent fought this long and hard to give up now. Where there is a will there is a way.
I/We dont have credit cards either so I totally get the whole where I am going to pull this $$ from but you know what we did and you will too. Look around what do you have that you really dont need list them on Craigslist, do you recycle your cans in your bins when you could bring them back to the store urself? Do you have the total cable package and maybe you can cut it to basic, have a land line you really dont need because you have a cell things like this.

You will get there and we are all here holding your hand and sending you positive vibes. So chin up and keep your focus and dont ever ever loose HOPE :)

334926 tn?1436815123
by butterflybabies, Feb 20, 2013
I know this wasnt the news you wanted but its a piece of the ttc you got an answer to. There are lots of things he can do like other mentioned fertliaid, also in Europe the suggest men eat pumpkin seeds. Which my dh always did when we were ttc. There are things you can do that wont cost to much, like some of the gals mentioned. I know it's alot to deal with and just take it one step at a time and you will overcome all this. Praying for you always!

790669 tn?1465192699
by Des_a_rae, Feb 20, 2013
Ty Risa..I'm trying to stay positive and I know I've been under alot of stress with this and my hurting so yesterday was a little dramatic sounding, but it still really bothers me.  I will get the FertilAid, I should've have got it when you first mentioned it.  

Tysm Hope (I'm sorry I don't even know your real name) .  I want to get this 2nd surgery over with..I WANT to feel better.  I had the dye test done before and everything was clear and open..should they check it again?  I kinda hope they do..do you think I could possibly have scar tissue in there from the 1st surgery?   I've thought alot about cutting back on things.  Internet, home phone..cable definitely.  Hubby is in heating and cooling business plus he gets commissions for sales so all of that will be put back.  I'd LOVE to have a full time job. I've been trying to find one for about 6 months now.  The only problem is I barely have experience in anything. I've worked at my family's business ever since I graduated and that apparently isn't good enough.  They're old fashion..they still do business ledgers and such..not microsoft works and whatever else businesses now a days use.  I work with my dad most of the time and make a little money that way.  There's 2 good things about that..1.) If I'm hurting from my problems he can put off jobs until another day and 2.) I contribute by making a little money this way.  I WISHED I had a full time job where I can get insurance and things like that, but I hurt ALL the time and it's hard to have anything.   I don't think anyone would hire me when I have to be in bed for 3 days solid..it's either go to sleep or try to fight the pain and or throw up and pass out from hurting.  

Thank yall both so much.  There's not enough words to describe how thankful I am for all the support.  No one in my family knows what I'm going through or how I feel.  I honestly don't want to burden them with it.  I've always tried to deal with things on my own and hold everything in.  Thank God I found this place!!

790669 tn?1465192699
by Des_a_rae, Feb 20, 2013
TY butterflybabies!  You're absolutely right, whether it's what I wanted to hear or not at least now I know.  I know it can't be fixed over night, but I hope there's something that can help and it's within our means.   Tysm for the prayers and the friendship.  

1806883 tn?1458324604
by stacey10, Feb 20, 2013
as well as fertilaid, you could get him on maca as well and also zinc all of these will/should help increase the sperm etc, good luck with everything and as hard as it may seem you know can formulate a plan of action and as risa has said, take one step at a time and you will get there...

1396867 tn?1520813858
by hopeitworks, Feb 20, 2013
Des- If you do find Full time work, you will be eligible for coverage/job protection under FMLA the Family Medical Leave Act now I dont know exactly when you become entitled as I was with my company for some time before I needed it.. This however gives you up to 12 weeks in a rolling calendar year for job protection take intermidant(sp) or consecutive(ie child birth surg etc),
So for me I have approval for 2-3 episodes(flare ups pain) per month each lasting up to 10 hrs( as I work 10 hr days) so basically Im approved to miss 3 days a month of work. Then I also have approval for 3 Dr appts per month each lasting up to 4 hrs if needed. This is a form your Dr would fill out and your FMLA admin would review and approve.

So keep that in mind and also you can google Im sure the ins and outs of when it would start etc...

I do think they should check your tubes again defintely. I had mine checked at each one of my surgeries. Endometrisosi is a very aggressive disease and you more likely than not have scarring from prev surgeries.

And my name is Leanne :)

If I can be of any help just PM me!!!

790669 tn?1465192699
by Des_a_rae, Feb 21, 2013
ty Stacey! :)  I'll look into the maca and zinc. Definitely one step at a time.

Tysm Leanne...I had no idea about that!!!   I'll ask them about rechecking my tubes.  My regular checkup is due in March so I'll get it all worked out then.   You've been more than enough help, tysm !!  

1386765 tn?1451167937
by pb95, Feb 21, 2013
I just saw this!  I also am so sorry to hear this, but so happy for you too.  Answers bring potential for action.  I wish I could get an explanation for my problem because then I could deal with it.  

If you are looking for ways to make money, I have seen the many talents you have!!!  You are so creative and have such a resource in your land and gardens.  Could you market these things you do?  I know the costs will start to rise, but set an idea on how much you think you could comfortably spend and maybe look to a low interest credit line?  I know how strong your desire is and just hope you find a way!!!

4769306 tn?1568493809
by KeeLolo, Feb 22, 2013
Hi Des, I just seen your post.... I know it's a lot easier said than done but you hang in there. You and your hubby be strong together!!!  Nothing is too possible for God! When man says no God says yes..... He has the final answer. U just keep praying and believing, loving your husband..... God hears your prayers. Where this could easily tear others apart you let it build the both of you u up and what The Lord work. I don't mean to go to church on you, lol but that's how I was raised!!! :-) so with that being said, I have and will continue to pray with/ for you and your darling husband.... Bd, Bd, Bd, Bd.... It's coming.XoXoXo

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