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Mar 11, 2013 - 6 comments

I am not doing well today... I wasnt yesterday either.
I woke up at 8am on Sunday morning, and was told to get up and get dressed because my grandad had been rushed to hospital. My heart was thumping and racing. It was so sudden.
Anyway my grandad has dementia, and because he was bedridden (couldnt walk and had to stay in bed) , he developed sores and an infection or soemthing in his foot. Apparently there was no circulation in his foot anymore. It was purple and he was in a lot of pain because of it. Anyway I wasnt told of the other news that came with that until i got to the hospital. There wasnt really a choice because he could have an operation to cut off his foot but because of the state he was in before, he wouldnt survive recovery. We were told the kindest thing to do was make him comfortable until the end, because it will eventually poison his body. So basically i was told that my grandfather is slowly dying. GOODNESS IT HURTS.
When i was with him in the hospital he was holding my hand and i remebered all the memories we had. He was like a father to me, and i feel so bad for all the times i yelled at him out of frustration. But i guess that is was its like living with someone with dementia. I struggled to leave his room, i wanted to cry. Its hard, really hard.
But then again, i want his suffering to end soon. My wish would be for him to go peacefully, during his sleep or something.
TE QUIERO MUCHO ABUELITO (i love you so much grandad)

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by ILADVOCATE, Mar 11, 2013
The same thing happened to my grandfather at the end of his life I understand that to have this happen to a family member is a tremendous loss You are doing well to cope with it.

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by Dee1956, Mar 11, 2013
I am very sorry for what you are going through. Bless you and your family

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by cheflady, Mar 11, 2013
hi im so sorry for what you are going through i hope and pray that it comes gently will be thinking of you take care and god bless. Stay strong

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by mishymoshymarcy, Mar 11, 2013
Thanks everyone for all your support.
My grandfather had a heart of gold. His endless love and care for the whole family will hopefully pull us through. As well as all the memories and funny moments we have shared. I will always carry his heart with me.
I am sure he would want me to be happy. I hope he is in peace soon.
To be honest i have never really experienced whats its like to lose someone or to see someone die slowly, so its all new to me..
Thanks to you all again. It may be a tough few days or weeks for me, but no matter how much it hurts, I will do my best to stay strong...  :) :( :) :( :) :(

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by Nighthawk61, Mar 11, 2013
I'm so sorry that your Grandfather was in so much pain, but now that he's in the hospital, they will keep him comfortable and he will pass gently into heaven honey, where he will wait and watch you, like he did before he got dementia. I have a journal entry, that you might read, to make this process a little bit easier. It's excerpts from an old book I found, called Life's Evening, and it really helps in the transition between earth and heaven. Maybe even your Grandfather would appreciate reading it, if he's a Christian?

We're all thinking about you Marcy, during this time. Please know you're in out thoughts and prayers. Liz xoxox

4059843 tn?1516799521
by mishymoshymarcy, Mar 12, 2013
Thanks everyone. I do hope his suffering ends soon, despite how hard it is to let him go... But i have decided that i am not going to repeat the words 'Omg my grandads going to die soon', that often. I will not be upset for weeks and weeks because i fear him dying. I have to try and not let it make me anxious and upset.
Thanks once again for your support. :)

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