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Missing my mom today

Mar 14, 2009 - 11 comments

I'm having a bit of a rough day today.Today would have been my mom's 65th birthday.We lost her 16 years ago.I know that seems like a long time to some people,but I still remember everything about her so vividly,it just doesn't seem like shes been gone from my life that long.I miss her so much and on days like today,her birthday,it just hurts even that much more.I was only 24 when she passed away,my kids were all so little still.She didn't get to be here to watch them grow up or to be there when my daughter became a mom and me a grandma.My mother was just the most amazing woman and I miss her.I know she watches over us,I know that,but what I wouldn't give to hear her voice again or feel her touch.My mom passed away from breast cancer.From the time she told us until the day we lost her was only 6 short weeks.It wasn't enough time to prepare,but then again,I don;t think a lifetime would have been enough time to prepare for that loss.My mom never had a mammogram and she never went to see the doctor when she noticed the lump.She kept this all to herself and by the time she told us it was too late to do anything,but try and keep her comfortable in her last days.PLEASE PLEASE all you women who read this,get your mammograms,there is so much the doctors can do for you now as long as they catch it early enough.It doesn't have to be a death sentence.My mom was only 49 when she passed away,she had so much living left to do.I'm just having a hard time today and needed to share......Kim

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666081 tn?1237040428
by rjoy, Mar 14, 2009
Thanks for sharing your story kim. I believe that mammogram can really be helpful in the early detection of breast cancer. I pray that you'll get pass through your sadness. Maybe you can share your wonderful moments together with daughters, so they can also appreciate what a mother she was to you. Pass her legacy to next generation. =)

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by SophieShine, Mar 14, 2009
I lost my mom almost 10 years ago, she was murdered. I still miss her everyday, especially our hugs, her unconditional love, her smell and her smile. I want to remember her with a smile on my face tho and no tears in my eyes, I know that's how she would have wanted it. All my strength goes to you. I know some dates are difficult.... xxx. sophie.

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by kim715, Mar 14, 2009
Thank you both so much.Sophie,I'm so sorry,what a tragic loss.I know my mom would want me to be smiling too,so I am going to try my hardest to smile through the tears today and just celebrate the time that I did have her here with me.Thank you.......Much love...Kim

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by opiator, Mar 14, 2009
Losing a mom is sooo hard, devastating, no matter what circumstances. I lost both parents, two weeks apart. Mom from cancer, dad from diabetes, right here at home with me. 10 years ago. Love and light to all of you. Just remember "they will always be with us, because we remember them" Love never dies.

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by dominosarah, Mar 14, 2009
Oh Kim.....You know your mom is so so proud of you.  She is living and breathing thru you my friend.  All those wonderful traits your mom had has been passed on to you.  I know the pain is hard and the memories come flooding in but celebrate her life today........Sending you a big big hug.........love ya      sara(me too!!)

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by beatingthis, Mar 14, 2009
Ahh Kim, She will alway be with you. I just lost my sweet dad on Sept 25th this year. He died in my arms and I am just now starting to remember the good times. Sometimes it it so overwelming it hurts to breath. My mom is now in a nursing home with her mind any body slowly fading away. She is my best frined and not being able to tell her everything is tuff.
Hang tuff. She will alway be in your heart.

Much care and love and understanding coming your way!

T.

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by whattodo4her, Mar 15, 2009
hey kim I can totally relate as I lost my mom at the young age of 54 and my children never had the privledge of meeting her. However I have always told myself I was extremely lucky to have the best mother in the world for 27 years. Some people never have the kind of relationship we shared in a lifetime. So again i can relate to your pain more then you know but by your post you seem pretty lucky to me. SHE IS WITH YOU!!

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by banker23, Mar 23, 2009
Kim,

My Mom passed away Jan 27, 2009 at age 55 years old.  She found out Jan 22, 2009 she had Stage 4 Lung Cancer, but was told poss 2-5 years to live.  She was scheduled for first chemo Jan 29, 2009.  I am 34 years old, a sister 32, and brother 20.  We are all still so hurt and lost.  I have 3 girls (13, 5, &4), and just found out I'm pregnant.  I'm so lost without my Mom.  I cry sometimes everyday.  She has already missed 2 of my children's birthdays.  Hers is almost here, I have no idea how to handle Mother's Day without a Mom.  We never got to say goodbye, she didn't have the classic dying symptoms.  She was even awake the morning she passed before my Dad went to work, she died shortly after he left.  I will never forget the call from my 20 year old brother who tried to save her (even though she had the death rattle).  I only live 5 mins away, but he said "Sissy I need you to come over, drive carefully".  I just knew what he was going to tell me, and felt the pain rush over me.  It's all so fresh.  

I'm so sorry your Mom passed also.  I know God has a purpose and reason for everything happening, but I wish there were no such thing as cancer.  

Teresa

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by alc1211, Mar 29, 2009
Kim,
This is Annie's (alc) mom.  I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss.  She would've been so very proud of you.  I've read your posts you've written to other people and what you've written to my daughter.  You are the one who has been so strong and upbeat, but you need a shoulder to cry on.  I don't know you or even where you live, but here is a huge hug going your way.  She is watching over you.  I truly believe that.  
Annie's mom

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by scared829, Apr 04, 2009
Kim,
  I know exactly how you feel.  It will be a year this May that my mom died of an accidental drug interraction.  She was only 52.  That's the other reason i want to be clean.  But this I do know, God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.  we all need to hold on to that.

With all my prayers
scared829

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by luvinmylilgirl, Aug 01, 2009
I'm really sorry for your loss and I know your really strong to go through that. I can't imagine what it's like but I believe that not only is she watching over you but also with you at all times. You are a part of her and are caring on for her as your children are for you. I hope your doing ok during this trying time and I'm praying for you always. You was there for me when I needed some one the most. I believe that God put you in my path and your and you spoke from learning from your mother. She did a wonderful job raising you cause I know your a kind person who doesn't judge and helps people. God only knows you helped me. I wish you the best and please hit me back anytime. Sorry I wasn't on here for a while but I was catching up with my little gal learning and getting to know each other once again. She came home on March 09, 2009. Bye for now......Jayme


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