Roger Gould, M.D.  

Specialties: Mental Health, Wellness, emotional eating

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Your doctor told you to lose weight. Struggling?

Mar 25, 2008 - 5 comments





Heart Disease


Weight Loss



Your doctor told you to lose weight. Are you struggling?

So your doctor says to you that you should lose 10 to 20 pounds.  If you are a diabetic, he will tell you that you will reduce the amount of medication you need to control your disease as well as decrease the likelihood of complications.  If you have high blood pressure or heart disease, he will tell you that this will take the load off your heart, help you live longer, and many of your symptoms will go away.  If you have arthritis or joint pains, he will tell you this is the best way to help yourself.

You are convinced that you should lose weight.  If you are worried enough about your health or just plain ready to start taking care of yourself, you will begin a new diet and exercise routine.  But if you are like most people who have gone down that pathway it either won't last long or you may make some significant gains, feel better, but then slowly your weight will creep back up again.

But you might not even be convinced that you have to lose weight.  You heard the words, you understand the logic, but for some reason known only to you, you decide that you don't really have to lose weight .  You give yourself all sorts of excuses like it won't really make any difference, or it's impossible so why even try.

All this is very troubling and very frustrating.  We doctors are convinced that controlling your weight is one of the most effective things you can do to prevent  chronic heart disease and diabetic complications. Exercise and eating healthy to control your diet is in your immediate control.  Yet we find it so difficult to translate the intention of controlling our weight into a new habit of eating healthy.  Have you ever asked yourself why?

In this series of blogs I'm going to explain to you what is under the surface of this problem and what you can do to solve it.  This is an opportunity to use your mind to directly and profoundly affect your health.

I am still taken aback every time I think of the answer a patient once gave me when I asked her WHY she ate half a dozen donuts. She said, "what else could I do?" She couldn't figure out a better way of dealing with the demands of her 16-year-old daughter. She temporarily “lost her mind.” She was paralyzed. She was unable to think like the intelligent adult that she was.

I started asking other patients the same WHY question, and kept on getting the same kind of answer, in one way or another telling me that the strength of a craving, the lure of a binge, or the power of food over them, was overwhelming, and they too “lost their mind” to food.

Emotional Eating: Blessing or Curse?

I heard more and more people tell me that their mind was taken over by thoughts about food and weight. They told me that their mind was “occupied” by a force they couldn’t understand, and what they wanted as much as weight loss was liberation from this preoccupation. In fact, there are 17 million Americans who have this same mental struggle even though they maintain a normal weight.

So why do YOU eat too much after you have committed to a diet and told yourself you are not going to do that anymore? On one level the answer is simple and obvious. You eat too much when you think you HAVE to use food to reduce your stress level or get away from some uncomfortable feeling or thought because you BELIEVE that you don’t have any other way of doing that. Then food becomes a tranquilizer; an instant, always available, medication that shuts down your mind. At those moments emotional eating is a BLESSING.

But when those moments pass, and you realize you have a bad habit of using food as a tranquilizer TOO often, and you understand that this is the single most sabotaging factor in your weight control struggle that makes you break your diet every time, then you know that emotional eating is a CURSE, and you spend a lot of mental energy beating yourself up.

And if this habit of emotional eating is too embedded in your life, it is even more of a CURSE because on some level you understand that this habit so overloads your mind with obsessive thoughts about food and weight, that you can hardly think of anything else. It is a very bad eating habit that distracts you from vigorously pursuing your own personal development and the betterment of your relationships because it uses up too much mental oxygen. It is the addictive habit that causes binge eating and bulimia.

Control Your Binges

If you have struggled with your weight and quit as many diets as you started you are very familiar with what I have just described. Your problem is that you have not yet decided whether emotional eating is a BLESSING or a CURSE. On one hand you desperately want to control your eating; and on the other hand you want to be able to binge when the craving becomes so strong that you feel helpless and think to yourself, "what else could I do?"

You have a divided self because it is BOTH a blessing and a curse for you. You will be at peace with yourself about food and weight only after you have resolved the divided self conflict within you. If you don't resolve this conflict you won't be in charge of yourself and no matter how successful you are at losing weight by any diet, you'll always be worried about regaining it.

Large scale research on dieters tells us that you are in one of three equally large groups.

1.You only want a quick fix, fast-loss diet which means you would rather go through another cycle of weight loss and regaining than deal with this divided self conflict.

2. You have given up on all diets or weight loss approaches which means you have decided that emotional eating is too much of blessing to ever think of giving it up.

3. You recognize you need to make real lifestyle changes in regard to food which means you recognize emotional eating is more a curse than a blessing and you are looking for ways to resolve this divided self conflict.

I know this conflict very well. As a psychiatrist I have studied this with my own patients, written a book, and then created a program that has been used successfully by over 14,000 people. For those in the third group who are looking for lifestyle change, emotional eating can be controlled if one takes a careful step-by-step approach, at each step learning a critical piece of insight, and eventually replacing the initial helplessness thought "what else could I do" with the in-charge person who says “look at all the other ways I can handle this stress.” Then a new sense of personal power naturally emerges, and the cravings that were so strong in the past, actually disappear.

The discovery I have made is not that there is such a thing as emotional eating. We all know that. The discovery is that there is actually a way to replace the “blessing” of food with much better ways of handling life’s challenges. When you learn that well enough to act on it, your conflict is resolved, and the “curse” is gone; the "occupied" part of your mind is liberated.

In the next series of blog posts, I will tell you how that is happening right now with some of my patients and the members of my ShrinkYourself online program.

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Avatar universal
by Sunshine303, May 03, 2008
Dr. Gould; I have a question about Tonolin CLA supplements. I have been diagnosed with an anterior pituitary adenoma and have had trouble losing weight ever since my diagnosis and starting thyroid medications. I am currently taking Synthroid 0.75mg and Cytomel 5mcg daily. My Free T-4 is still running in the low range but improving. My question: On the website about thyroid.com Mary Solomon said taking CLA supplements in mega doses 3600mg daily would help weight loss. I have been taking it for 2 months and initially it did help but the past 2 weeks it seems to have made my abdomen especially really flabby and bloated. The scale says I have lost a few pounds but I seem to be really bloated and flabby. I exercise and eat healthy and weight resistance with pilates reformer. I read it can cause Insulin resistance but I would like to know what else CLA supplements at this dose can do to metabolism, fat cells or kidneys.  Help!  

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by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank, May 05, 2008
sunshine...I can't claim an expertise in regard to thryoid function and Tonolin, but can tell you that one of the claims to reduce the number of fat cells is not correct. The latest definitive study shows that there is a constant number of fat cells, no matter what, even after liposuction, they come back to the initial level. I am always worried about mega doses...and you should be wary of them also...You would be best of talking to the doctor who manages your thyroid medication.

Avatar universal
by heavyweight, Jul 08, 2008
Dr. Gould, I have been diagnosed with pituitary adenoma back in 1990. I was born premature and now I weigh 215. I would like to lose at leat a 100 pounds. I am 44 years old. And I will exercise, until my husband starts saying that that is what I need to be doing, or he goes out, to talk with a older man, who has a wife with alzheimers. And enjoys the company, I usually go, but not often. I do get depressed when left alone, and I find that I eat more  when depressed. My heaviest areas that need work are my hips, stomach, and butt. I don't feel like my husband loves me because of the way I look, and I can see when he sometimes mumbles under his breath and call me names. I want to lose weight, not just to be close with him, but to be healthier. I am not a diabetic, but I do have a dark ring around the back of my neck and now with creases folding in it. I have very broad shoulders, in which he says I look like a linebacker. Please advise on what I can do to stay focused on losing weight, and not letting my husbands painful words hurt me. Also what makes it so bad to me is that he has been the same weight since high school 135 very thin tall frame, and I just feel out of place, because I know that he is not comfortable being around me and vice versa. Any suggestions will be helpful. Lonely and overweight in SC

Avatar universal
by Avery_Q, Jan 01, 2009
NBC’s “The Biggest Loser” winner of $250,000 Michelle Aguilar, almost took home quite the payday. Most fans were stoked that she beat out competitors Vicky Vilcan and Heba Salama, who were not the favored competitors. It was quite the season. Michelle rebuilt her relationship with her mother, Renee Wilson, after the two hadn’t talked for six years. Wife Heba was pitted against her husband, Ed Brantley, for the third place spot. It was up to the viewers at home to decide who would get to compete for the grand prize. The dutiful Ed urged viewers to vote for his wife, and Heba agreed that she should win. This strategy backfired, and Ed won the viewers’ votes to the tune of 84 percent. For more about “The Biggest Loser” finale and to find out who else took home a payday, check out this article.

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by hellfireandice, Jan 10, 2009
Dr. Gould, I was diagnosed with a pituitary cyst, high blood pressure, and obesity along with depression.  I currently weigh 195 and Im only 5'4. Im only 28 years old and I would love to lose weight, at least 40-50 pounds. Many people have told me thhat the although the pituitary cyst isnt affecting my hormones it can be effecting my weight gain. I use to weigh 160 before I had my kids but my youngest is going to be 4 already and I can seem to do anything to lose weight. I have tried eating better and exercise and nothing so far. Can you help, is there maybe a suplement that I can take to help me out with the weight because if I cant figure something out soon I am going to just start forcing my self to throw up or just stop eating. Please help!

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