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Crashed... I hate this!

Mar 25, 2009 - 3 comments
Tags:

singing

,

normal

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depressed

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hate

,

regret



Hypo again last night... dancing and singing around in my underwear until 5am, amongst other things. Not good! Then as quickly as it came, it went and left me depressed. Now I have to start packing and getting my things together to fly home this weekend and I can barely move.

Don't even remember what else I was going to write down.

I think I'm actually getting worse; mood swings coming closer together and sometimes lasting longer, especially the mania; which feels great but from past experience its usually best to keep myself indoors. Also they dont seem to be in my regular pattern, much more random.

Three distinct moods/episodes yesterday... went from normal to depressed to hypomanic within a few hours. That hasn't happened in a good few months. Thought I was getting better, apparently I'm not.

Feel like yelling at the top of my voice. I hate this! Started to feel stable, started making plans which all seem so pointless now, I feel like I have no hope, no future. A 20 year old looking back on his life because he simply cannot look forwards.

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803299 tn?1243135053
by Germur, Mar 25, 2009
Wow!  Everything you are describing I have done too.  I am Bipolar II and have a very elevated case.  The mood swings can be disabilitating.  The good news for you is you can stabilize your situation but you have to really want to.  I have my illness right where I want it, under control.  No more wild mood swings.  It is a combination of the right meds, proper amounts of sleep and a good diet that lead to stability.  Definitly no alchol or abusive drugs.  If you want to stay in touch, just drop me a line.

787288 tn?1240658639
by SweetDelight_EndlessNight, Mar 25, 2009
Thanks for your comment and the info.

I have realised lately that living without medication is no longer an option for me, I've refused treatment since I was 16 but a couple of weeks ago saw my dr who agreed that I should be taking something so just waiting for an appointment for that to happen. Sleep is a big issue for me, usually I take anti-histamines and that sorts me out for the night but I dont like using them too much.

As for the diet, its quite limited because of my crohn's disease, but still quite a healthy one. With regards with alcohol, I can have some and not go completely mental, however when I become manic I just want to party... so I've put a stop to that over the past couple of months.

Also, the reason I think I'm less stable now is because of the treatment for crohn's disease, which is known to destablize people with mental conditions, but soon I'm supposed to taper off that drug and hopefully by then I will be on some medication for my bi-polar disorder.

Thanks again ;)

803299 tn?1243135053
by Germur, Mar 26, 2009
Just hang in there.  I did everything that you are doing.  I would get to feeling manic, so I would stop taking my meds and everything go worse.  Believe me you can get through this and have a normal life.  It does not seem possible when you are feeling like you do today.  I used to feel like I was a victim of a mental illness until I started reading about it.  I don't know if you know this but it is a very common illness that affects 1 in 70 persons.  Start reading and understanding about what bpd is all about and ways and methods to control the mood swings.  You can do it but it will take work !!!  

Take care of yourself and I hope that you are feeling better real soon.

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