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Apr 23, 2013 - 0 comments

hi im back.  how ru?  one thing I need to address is, um rr, ru trying to tell me im stupid?  because if you are, I already know.  I beat you to it.  ha ha

oh grill.  yeah ... its been a flurry of activity here ...

so I listened to some about the thing.  there was a story on the silence and also um ... more about the guy and his participation in I think a religious gathering the prior Friday.  it was creepy.  it was on npr, so it was interesting and incisive.

james blake sounds fanf*ckingtastic on the stereo!  yay!  very cool very very cool.  quite happy with it.  but since  I normally download stuff into realplayer, the lamest music player on earth, I didn't know how to sort of take the file and put it with the rest of my music, so now I have this like one song in my email but I bet its under recent downloads if I look maybe I can move it.  right next to big sean.

I got into a fight with the ac on the fone.  god I know and I can totally feel my bp going way up.  he was texting me about the bed and the electronics and dishes and stuff, and he go, 'I talk to Gary and he said it is coming fairly soon."  Fairly SOON?  I mean.  wasn't this the perfect opportunity for him to find out a date.  but I had tried to call that guy and I forgot to call again so I guess I dropped the ball so ... my bad.  anyway I called him after that stupid text like 'is that all he said" and then he told me a lot of other pertinent details that I guess he just wasn't planning to share.  whatever.  the end result is still 'fairly soon'

im sad.  I want a bed.  Gary said he will do the furniture first.  im thinking next week.  I know that's what I said last week.  believe me I want it bad.  the bed, that is.  well, that too

uh .... then we just got into a screaming match and as ive noted this is always fun.   idk.  sometimes I really wonder what happened to the person I knew before.   I mean, he was drinking a lot before the fire but after wow it just went haywire.  half the time I just don't even recognize him.  its more than disconcerting.  but ... theres nothing I can do.  god knows ive tried.

before that I got home and omigod I forgot to marinate the chicken.  oh s**t.  I have not had like meat since I moved here.  its murder, you know.  um.   gosh I hope it don't go bad I defrosted it yester and its ben in the fridge.  oops.  anyway I decided that since I couldn't find a track, tho I think I got one on google tonite, that I would go to this hike ive done a few x right near here.  

it only took me like ten minutes to get there from here, so its super close like I thought.  I wanted to hit this one trail that like, turns into a fire road, but the few times Ive gone ive never ben able to get back there, which I went on my first time there.  its like a good two hour round trip walk slash hike, or longer.  but once I got lost there, another time I got on this wack trail which was ok but short and sort of traversed this dangerously narrow and steep loop back to the park which is just riddled with dog people.  no offense.   im starting to like dogs.  but that one time I saw these two guys get into a fight over their dogs and they were so intense like shouting 'no you take your f*cking dog!' and like 'no your dog started it!' and it was chaos.

so this time I started up, its super steep when you go and wouldn't you know it some foofy runner who was so proud of himself nearly clipped my ear he came so close to me  like there are two ppl on the gee dam trail and this loser has to prove how fit he is running right up on my grill while I am like 'ohhhhh lor I am barely walking up these stairs"  (theyre like wood and dirt steps) but he went on with his bad self and I was just like sheesh!  give me a freakin break

ok why does it happen that medhelp makes you highlight whole sections of text and you cringe and watch while it goes delete!  god why?

I was saying how on the way up it is so pretty, you get to look at the whole valley and you see it from the south so you can see up to the top of the valley with the mts and just super gawjus.  you know we in cali rule beauty wise and so all the rest of you states pale ... well im sorry its just how it is.  cept maybe brice cyn in Utah and I never been there but hope to go

yeh and on the ril like I aint ben to the Tree in a while like months. and you know this year Joshua is like soooo blooming with those white buds you know did you see it on tv?  its the best year ever they said .... but I got to get guap cuz its 20 bux to get in the park or 15 or something and im dying to go and April is the best not cruelest month.  but maybe may good too I hope so

ony thing is I want to hike like I think its called Lost Horse Mine and that is soooo long like four hours I think and idk if I could do it alone.  I guess I could .  MM would never make it.  if I could drag Charlotte away from Roadkill shed love it.    yeah oh right we went to the Tree together years ago

aww yeah.  and once I got to the top I looked and it was real dope and then you go into this like, idk it looks like a valley floor all dirt and cracked but its at the top of a big hill like ur panting and wet.  wow that dint come out right.  anyway um ... gah.  and like on either side the path is flanked by these like idk little orange flowers not the yellow mustard but no they look like habaneros, you know, just tiny peppers but they are flowers.  very cool.

anyway the trail turned off so many directions that's the ony thing I don't like about this park.  and I tried to look for the fire road and big trees, I thought I got it but I went down this way steep downward I hate that I always slip but I did ok and I just went forever and then I got into this like gulch or something idk it was houses rich people who lived there a long time like have their name on a plaque outside and such and then big shade trees and like a rolling meadow and old metal parts rusting out and quaint little benches I mean yeah like a Secret Garden I was charmed I m sure.  but sweaty

so I turned back cuz I ran into some truck parked right in the trail and it made me nervous cuz no rr I dint bring my fone.  I heard you telling me the hole time but I dint want to carry it that fone sweats more than I do

it was a sweet hike ./ walk but ony ended up about forty five mins but that's ok I felt good and it was very pretty and I got to work out my body and that was nice

got home and did some things I think around the apt and oh yeah fought with ac and I um I um oh yeah I wrote for half a hour and it is ok fiction I think it is a actual story!  parts of it I let the sentences just come and other parts I took three books, one was poetry, and just opened and pointed and got a  line so I could use that quote to write from and for the most part that worked quite well.  I was pleased.


I sat on the patio and smoked a cigarette and cried and felt sorry for myself that was fun.

but, for a lot of the afternoon, I think I did a good job of being positive and productive and trying to look to the future.  I think I still need to get to some meetings and call that chick Nora but the fone was too heavy and I could not do it but I did think about it a great deal.

an ... im tired now.  for me its late.  I have magazines and notebooks and these old issues of the Nation I found by the mailboxes for ppl to take I figured I could brush up on some politix and quote the articles as if I knew something and impress ppl ha ha ... now is the Nation right or left?  I cant recall.  well if its left that's great and if its right ill just take the info and spin it all the way around and mock them and make fun of them for their views.  yes, good job Meegy ty

for those who like to rock, we salute you!

oh grill guess what DM yes Depeche mode is playing like a thousand shows at Staples and ONE check it ONE show at the freakin troubadour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  oh lord what a dope show to see that would be!  wow.  the alternative station giving away tickets.  they had this guy on who could NOT talk to the dee jay no matter what subject he brought up.  he was so frustrated like 'hey dude we are not getting into a groove with this conversaton' and the guy was like 'im sorry; ' it might have been jed the fish im not sure and he was like 'that's ok' and then the guy finally was able to show a bunch of happiness for winning the tix and he knew his wife would be all stoked and jed was happy but like wow this guy ... it was so bizarre I mean you have to know ellay but like kroq is the station and their listeners are so weird!   that would never happen on a hip hop station.  

at this point I feel it might behoove me and others if I mentioned this costume I wore for Halloween when I was teaching elementary school.  I ordered it from oriental trading company whose catalogs thereafter became the favorite reading material of my then step son (wow how much further away from having your own kid could you get) and it was a nun. I think I may have mentioned this in an early journal.  so idk if it was cuz im jewish or what but when I wore the costume it really offended a bunch of other teachers most notably the lady next door was from Africa and had a very thick accent and she was cool sometimes but sort of like, hardcore.  and the nun costume came with these headbands there were four I forget what all of them said but one was um 'nun of your bizness!' and another was 'nun cents'  yeah it said that.  I think one should have said 'nun such records' ha ha

ohhh Meegy.  you tax my patience.  yes.  I know

ok I ben thinkin more about Big Sean.  I know I spend a lot of mental energy on him.  prolly not time well spent but hey what can I say.  um  I think its unfortunate that he used the deli line cuz like, ppl don't really relate to delis do they?  it sounds so like quasi tacky.  yes.  quasi tacky.  yes I did make it up.  and um.  well.  I think the reason is that he hails from deetroit my place of nacimiento ... yes ... yay!  deetroit!  ima holler at ya!  and um.  well the Stage and the Bread Basket are two of the bombinest delis in Detroit in case you ever get the chance to eat there take it!!!!! mmmmmmm its like instant orgasm food.  really.  even for you I don't eat anything ppl you just gotta eat it for one day

well it is rather late and I have gone on a bit!  excuse me.  im just being like that nun.  the one I dressed up as.  idk im being rather oblique but you might pick it up from context.

S, yes I do love you, and I miss you, but you need to stop.  it don't matter how old you are, player.

omg that song is on!  big sean!  deli!

I am so prescient.

goodnite medhelp

love you lots


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