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Some days it is just too much

May 17, 2013 - 3 comments

Today I got another 6 week job.  I am so nervous they are going to think I'm not good enough as I'm teaching French and I'm still only learning.  I don't know the kids and haven't actually been at this school in almost 4 years when ( I learned today), a rumour was started about someone and they stopped asking back all the regular casual employees because they thought it was one of them.  It really devastated me at the time, and so I'm nervous.  Nervous of being watched and not being good as the terminator obsessive compulsive teacher that was doing things before me.  So, there's that...

Then, I missed a dentist appointment today which I wanted to get in before the TWW.  And we just bought a mattress which should be a good thing, but the store screwed it up and gave us the wrong size box xpring and we didn't notice.  I'd been putting off getting a mattress because I didn't want to get a new one before our babies had finished peeing on them.  I also wanted a soft one, but you can't have that with a little baby, and so it feels like this is the first step into giving up.  We took out the old mattress and the bottom was covered with hair from my dog that died two years ago.  Sophie is 7 in a couple days.  I'm so jealous of my friend's 16 year old daughter who has just posted pictures of her ultra sound.

My course work isn't going away and my brain is so stuffed I feel like I don't know anything anymore.  This weekend was supposed to be a break from it all and a little bit of catch up at the end, and fun things like planting the garden and setting up the new trailer but it has all the sudden become so packed I almost wish it was over.  

This sounds so crazy.  Like, get a grip crazy.  I just wanted to write it out and hopefully calm down.  

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by Des_a_rae, May 17, 2013
Well it certainly is alot, but I know you're strong.  I know you will get throught it.  I think you'll do a terrific job.  Who cares what the one before you did..I don't think they'd hire you IF they weren't confident enough that you could do it. :D  Hmm French, that's pretty cool!! :D  I'd love to learn french.  

Sorry about the mattress.  I know it was an accident, but still..when things are feeling like they're piling up already, you could do without something else, right?   I know in time it'll all work itself out!!  Hang in there!!  :)  

As far as the ultrasound, that's natural :(  I'm soo jealous of my younger cousins.  I have 3 new babies in the family and it's soo hard seeing their pictures on facebook, BUT all I can do is pray that I'll have my time!  

Hang in there...always here for you and always wishing you the best!! :D

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by krichar, May 17, 2013
Wow, you do have a lot going on... Right now just close your eyes and take a deep breath in through the nose out through the mouth...

Ok... Don't worth about last people, do the best you can do and regardless of what happens you can hold your head high :)

I still get jealous of people who just chose when they're having their babies... Even though I got mine. I think it's only natural when you struggle.

Treat yourself to a new mattress... You'll figure out the baby stuff when it happens :)

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by pb95, May 18, 2013
Thanks you guys for listening to my rant.  I used to be able to handle anything that came my way.  I had a good sleep, woke up and just mapped out all the things I have to do.  Still in a bit of panic but at least I think I have composure.  I'll keep deep breathing and drinking herbal tea and might try to run for a bit too.

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