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Needing to vent!

May 21, 2013 - 4 comments

Starting to get really stressed out now that I will be going onto my third trimester! I feel there is so much to do and just a little time to finish it all, and because pregnant makes you lazy, fatigued, causes horrible back pain that never goes away, etc. My problem is the pain and how fast I get tired, My motivation is pretty high, but my back pain is causing me not to do anything. :/ ugh. Tylenol does absolutely nothing for me! I wish I had people to help, but everyone else is to busy with their lives to care so I'm stuck doing everything on my own, calling doctors, finding a pediatrician, putting all the baby stuff together, cleaning my room, and the house, doing dishes, laundry, cleaning my bird cage, and whatever else I do daily! that is a lot for one pregnant person who have severe pain and swelling. So do I just not do it or deal with the pain and cause myself to hurt more. I feel stupid complaining because its my fault I'm pregnant and everything, but I look at so many other people and everyone gets help from there husbands, or parents, I don't get any of that!! It would be nice once in a while for family to want to help me, or my bf to come help me clean up and put stuff together, but nope, I'm stuck doing it all myself! I do not want to become so stressed out that it triggers my depression to start, or it gets so bad where something happens to my baby. Im scared of it happening! And now Im putting on all this weight and im scared to see how everything is gonna be after shes here, whats it gonna be like then. I think its hard now but once shes here its gonna be even worst. :/ I cant wait for her to get here, don't get me wrong but I cant do it by myself! I need people around before i loose the only social life I have. I will literally go insane! My bf needs to step up and be a father and a boyfriend and help out! But I cant force him to get off his *** and do so. Just hoping things get better, not ready to be miserable for the rest of my life because I have no one. I don't think thats asking for much!

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by retta483, May 21, 2013
well take it easy for now because when she is born you are going to be wiped out !  I'm not saying it is easy but it is do able . my dh works long hours so it is just me with the kid's and it is 24/7 never get a break . It's way worth it though =)

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by KylieRMs_momma, May 21, 2013
Thats true! i just need help lol, my bf is never here! I only see him like once a week if I'm lucky

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by laureninlove, May 22, 2013
Keep drumming it into his head, he needs to know how run down you are and do it when you are both calm and approachable. Seriously if he still doesn't have a heart after that then you need to tell him that any other man would step the hell up and try to make a bit more effort because they care about their pregnant gf's health. It makes me mad that he doesn't, but maybe he needs his parents to drum it into his head too. I think all new dads probably need to have the facts drilled in sometimes as its all new to them too :)

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by mykidzmama, May 22, 2013
I completely understand, because I experienced something very similar.  I had very painful and uncomfortable pregnancies, no one understood how bad I felt.  (It turns out that there is a medical reason why I felt so bad. So be sure you tell the doctor how bad you feel, so they can figure out if there is something else going on.)  

My advice to you would be to cut out extra stress.  I know that sounds easy, but you have to look after yourself.  Don't add extra work onto yourself.  Surround yourself with loving, non-judgmental and helpful people.  Find ways to simplify your life.  For example, when you feel good, then maybe make a double batch of a casserole to put in the freezer for your when you have a bad day.  Do you have a special skill that you could trade for work?  Are you a knitter, computer geek, super baker?  For example, you could trade someone some home-baked goods for help with setting up the baby's crib.  Maybe, you could ask someone to help you clean up your house in trade for downloading some movies for them.  Maybe there is a senior who could help you out, and you could teach them how to use their email or skype.
Are you a member of a church or faith-based community?  What about a mom's group?  Find people who will lift you up emotionally, so you can feel good and be a good mom.
Be sure to get LOTS of sleep, listen to your body, eat the four main food groups, take prenatal vitamins, find some fun and hang out with good people.
BTW, Let your boyfriend look after himself. He's a grown man.  I wouldn't suggest being confrontational because that will cause you, and the baby, extra stress.  Just look after you and the baby, and tell him how much you would appreciate it if he could do the laundry.  (I always tell my husband how sexy it is when he helps me with housework, and reward him with extra hugs and love.)  Also, ask your boyfriend how he feels about the baby.  Is he scared?  Is he jealous?  Is he feeling useless?  Be sure to talk to him, and include him in your plans.  

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