Jun 07, 2013
well that overwhelming feeling of depression is much better today... and kind of weird feels like my head is kind of being electrocuted every once in a while... kind of like zings... hard to explain... maybe its those parts of my brain that haven't worked on their own in so long trying to fire up again.... lol... lets hope so, I know I have my own brain in there somewhere, one that will be ok without the help of opiates.. and especially without methadone... watched my fiancée dose with his methadone this morning and didn't hate him as much but just knew how much better he was going to feel than me today makes it so much harder and it is so hard to explain to him.... almost makes me think it would be easier if I wasn't around him during this time.. to see him bee bopping around the house so damn perky and happy makes me resent him some how... I know that is just my selfish drug seeking self thinking... but how do you get past these thoughts?? time, I know but god it is hard!!