All Journal Entries Journals

I know I am blessed even with the Chronic Pain & Fibro

Apr 13, 2009 - 2 comments

I feel like a battery ram. Ever since I broke my foot last Oct. 2008, my health has gone down hill. Oh the foot is healed, but not completely, because of the fracture location it could break again. So I am walking around our little home with a cane for my foot and unbalanced while standing and walking due to the Fibro.  I have been in such Chronic Pain from the Osteoarthritis in my neck and lower back and right knee which very swollen. If we go out I use my powered Scooter. And tonight I feel a Migraine coming on. I will have to go take my Migraine meds. It is all I can do to get out of bed and my recliner.  I do get up and stretch, just to move around even it hurts.   Like everyone here I am so sick of being sick. My marriage is really being stressed to the max.  MY Husband has been very loving and caring. But we have it the point were we are both trying to deal with the life we have now. We have not been intimate for a very long time. I think he has hit the time that he is not sure he wants to stay married with me. 36  years, I am so scared. We have talked this over and over.  I get so tired so easy these days, I have times I just fall asleep anytime of the day or night. If I lose Michael my hubby, I promise you I will not be here, he is my life since I was 16yrs. old.  If I make a comment he thinks I am attacking his sentence, If I say something to him he makes me  feel like I a dummy, In fact he now refers to me a cripple.  I know it is hard on him, but that hurts.

My Fibro is still in a flare and my doctor said it could be a year of more for the flare to ease off.  I walk into the walls or just lose my balance a lot, so he ordered a prescription for my powered scooter, I have fallen a couple of times and had a seizure. I constantly am dropping things. I had to get rid of some furniture to make more foom inside. I had to make a very hard decision about my oldest cat. He was having potty accidents often, drinking a lot of water and non-stop eating. I was cleaning up after all day. He was 16 yrs. old. He was my haby we had Precious put to sleep April 2nd  It was so hard to let him go. It is just one more thing Fibro. has taken from me.
I HATE FIBRO, OSTEOARTHRITIS I don't like  what it has and is doing to me and m family.  I have very little control with my body any more.

I have some very dear friends here on the forums that are seriously ill. I am so very worried about them. they know who they are. My Guardian Angel, My Angel who is always positive advice for me. calls me long distance to check on me. And my little sister/friend who spent hours with me to keep me from commiting suicide.  I am blessed by these friends and many others here.  I am so afraid I may lose them. This my safe place- please help me, I know all this is helping me to be strong for them and hopefully something will ease this chronic pain. I am now on Morphone Sulfate 3x day for pain, not helping much.  I am rambling, my head hurts and I am tired.

Please all take care,

Comments
Post a Comment
460185 tn?1326081372
by lonewolf07, Apr 13, 2009
I'll send you a PM.




805158 tn?1271093338
by klivesay, Apr 13, 2009
I am sorry your going thru so much.  You dont know me, i am new, i am tina.  Reading your journal post touched my heart.  We have so many things in common , it is fortunate and unfortunate.  I wish no one had to go thru the pain we go thru.  No one understands it like we do,  i do know that.  I can connect with you about so many things.  My husband also does the majority of stuff.  I have gone downhill since last May, from being able to drive an 18wheeler to pushing myself around in a wheeled walker.  i just wanted to let you know your not alone.
tina

Post a Comment