Jul 02, 2013
It has been almost two years since my dx but when I think back my symptoms have been here for more than 10 years. Just never put two and two together. Four years ago my full time job went through a downturn and I lost almost half of my income so I got a part time job. Well three years later I am still working that part time job so that I can keep my house and lately I have been thinking is it worth it. I do this so that I can keep Jack my golden retriever. I can't really walk him anymore so he needs a yard. If I went into an apartment I would have to find another home for him and the thought of that brings tears to my eyes. I could move to North Carolina and live with my parents but didn't want to do that unless it was a last resort. Should I move on and have a better quality of life while I am still able to. My mobility is usually the same but it seems like the bad days are equaling the good ones and I think it is because I am so exhausted.
So I am in a quandry......I have been looking for a new full time job that pays more or is closer to home so as to save on gas. Or a part time job where I can work from home. And then I have thoughts that maybe Jack would be better off with a family with kids and a yard where he could run and play am I being selfish? I know how devoted he is towards me but would he have a better life......... So much to think about and so many decisions to make..
Hope that writing some of this down will help. So far just as confused but I will come back and re-read often and see if it helps.