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Believe in your self.....and leap dear girl

Aug 21, 2013 - 2 comments

This is my first journal and lol its not about me but my daughter, who is about to make the biggest leap of her young life and to do it and survive............she has to believe!

No doubt this beautiful young woman has had to deal with a lot of hurdles, she has Asperger's and just like MS, Asperger's is unique to the individual. Being a girl Aspie, and a pretty girl with out the social understanding NT's (neuro typical = normal) are born with, she's a bit of a predator magnet. Her ex-boyfriend brought home to her and us, just how vulnerable she is but i doubt a NT girl would of had the tools to deal with him either, intelligent schizophrenic, narcissistic, drug abuser, violent etc etc etc  the list is endless. She was still blaming herself and protecting him, until he decided to visit her mum and little brother whilst stoned and in a psychotic state, her understandable fear for us changed everything and she understood in that moment, that she wasn't to blame for anything he did and probably most important was that she couldn't save him.............and even though she was scared and I mean really really scared, she found her inner warrior and did what she needed to do to stay safe and be free.  

Over the years, her health has been a confusing mix of blah, lol I think her 'now' actually started when she was 18, she got really sick and they thought it was mono but turned out she had the mono markers already, so they came up with eating under cooked pork. Yep now it seems ridiculous but at the time it made sense the way the dr explained the sx's could mimic mono. A lot of her health issues even as a child, has been put down to stress and anxiety due to being an Aspie living in a world she'll never quite understand or fit into but that's just a convenient explanation, for everything they haven't been able to explain the why of.

Sometimes you see something on the evening news and a light bulb goes off..............oh crapola everything this girl is experiencing can be explained by Yasmin! The US already knows about the side effects of Yas and Yasmin but we in Australia are only just finding out and my girl started taking this to regulate her periods, in the months prior to when it all began! What would be the odds, that its not being caused by Yasmin, when all her medical issues are the same or similar to what other women have gone through whilst taking this contraceptive?  

How many unexplained medical issues do you need, before you should start to look at the medication(s) as the causation? We have a family history of problematic and or rare medication side effects and still it never once occurred to us to look at her prescribed meds, it was just the pill. I don't know if her dr has considered Yasmin, its a maybe because twice this year she's been asked by her dr when renewing her script, if she wants to change the pill to something else, though not told why she should, just told that there are better ones, so maybe she's thought it might be the problem. Its hard to face change when you have Asperger's, so she would not ever consider changing something if its doing its job and having no other explanation than there are better ones.

Tell her it could be the reason why she has dx pulmonary issues dx adult onset asthma, dx myoclonic jerks and muscle spasms, dx bladder issues, unexplained 'chunks' of hair braking off, horrifically painful bowel spasms misdx as appendix, dx migraines, dx abnormal number of ear nose and throat infections, morning sickness with out pregnancy, dizzy spells, fatigue etc and that is more than enough to get her to consider going through the emotional upheaval that change always brings. If you are on Yasmin, do your self a favour and look at all the health issues that this contraceptive pill has been connected to and why. We are commonly not aware of major problems with medications, until after the law suits have started and or the drug company is paying out big dollars in compensation, and this is happening with Yasmin so be aware and consider if its right for you.

Timing is a pain because she's setting her self up to make that leap into the unknown, being her own boss. Despite all that she's gone through in her life, her one constant is baking. She is truly talented and there will never be anyone like her, lol that's not the mum talking up their child, it's the collective voice of all the people over the last 10yrs who have had her make a cake for their special day. Being an Aspie maybe the reason why she stands out as being different but its also one of the reasons why she is so bloody good at what she does.........baking is her stim, her obsession and how she copes being in a world designed for NT people.

She is an artist who's medium is cake!

Her boss has forgotten what she needs to function as well as she does, times are economically tough and with wisdom born of ignorance to what it means to be an Aspie, he's taken over most of the baking and put both his pastry chefs into customer service. Today she bravely told him what not baking was doing to her, oh he gets the drive, the passion and her talent but not why the pretty competent girl in front of him, struggles to deal with people day after day after day. He's pushed and bullied trying to get her out of what he believes is just shyness, and aversion to public speaking, he doesn't understand that it isn't a behavioural choice but the way her brain functions. Sure she is fantastic one on one with the fussiest bride to be, work wonders with a student no one has been able to teach, but throw her in a room full of people 8 hours a day and she starts to emotionally fall apart. No she's not being a premadonna, hormonal female or doing a Gordan Ramsey, she's an Aspie thrown into an environment she is ill-equipped to deal with and not by choice or hope that tomorrow will be different.  

Today i think he finally realised that she will not be staying forever, she is a valuable asset he will not be able to easily replace for a host of reasons but today was the first time he has ever spoken to her with some understanding of how much she needs to bake. He is going to see if he can work out a way to give her back some time baking, he's never going to truly understand but I think he understands that if he doesn't give her back the baking, she will have no other choice but to leave because baking means more to her than a pay packet. He asked her if she would be interested in teaching because she's good, he's one of the teachers at our states renown culinary school so what he's thinking will be interesting to say the least.  

She has a part time little hobbie business running, if she steps off the ledge she will be able to make enough but she has to be ready and believe in herself as much as we all do!

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by PastorDan, Aug 21, 2013
JJ, we're praying that this leap results not so much in a soft landing as in a dazzling freestyle flight that lasts longer than any before.  She's got an inspiring mum on her side, at least, and it sounds as though she's picked up some of her traits.  Let us know, as you feel appropriate.

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by karryon55, Sep 23, 2013
Congrats on your first journal. I do feel for your daughter not being able to do her baking & completely understand in a way that I feel blessed to have experienced in my life. I used to be a social trainer who specialised in ASD, PDD & Asperger's where I mainly worked in early intervention but not solely. I felt I had a special bond with "my kids" or the children I worked with. I can totally relate to what you have written in your journal. I always had a great rapport with the children but also they themselves gave me so much back in life. It's hard to explain. I miss that part of my life.
Please let us know how it all goes.

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