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a vent about  'friends'  

Aug 28, 2013 - 6 comments

this is my safe place and I can write anything here so here is my vent.  I have a couple of friends that I have known for years- we all live about 30 minutes away.  we were roommates and they would call me a best friend.  I love them.  Well- I am the one constantly putting forth the effort to gtg.  I always call or text and try to make plans.  One just moved and has gone back to school- happy to be with me- never had kids so maybe a bit uncomfortable that I am a package deal now.  That said- my girls are amazingly easy to shop, go to lunch and generally be in public with.  The other had kids via a relationship and is a (young) grandparent! Scheduling is her issue.  I just am lonely and frustrated.  I honestly need to quit trying to gtg with them and maybe they will get the message.  I just wonder  if it is me- or the fact I have toddlers.  I am just annoyed bc I saw fb pics of one of them doing exactly what I invited her to do last week with a group of friends from work.

whine whine whine

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1272624 tn?1395437957
by plumber43, Aug 28, 2013
Don't beat yourself up! I feel that way too! Some people who aren't in our position with small kids don't always understand.I have a friend that acuses me of not making plans with her but she never had kids and I think she has a hard time with it. I just hate that she tells me I don't make plans but she's always busy when I invite her to anything. She's 62. I'm sure it's not you buggy when your kid free for so long it gets lonely! I'm either working or having with the family! I miss girl time, I'm gonna make time.all my friends are grandmother's now and are done raising kids. Where do you live I'll hang out with you!....Lol
Hugs Mel

1351078 tn?1416316746
by retta483, Aug 28, 2013
I think when you have kid's it just get's like that . I no longer get invited places and if i do they say no kids well i have 6 and they are always with me so I don't go i end up finding stuff for us to do as a family . the only girl time i get is on here lol .sorry mabe if you stop trying gtg they will miss you and call you up .

4548024 tn?1474842725
by renae176, Aug 28, 2013
Im so sorry you feel that way, gosh i wish you lived closer to me, i have no friends where i live, cause i had to move from where i grew up for my safety, cause i was kidnapped in 2007, its hard when you feel alone, especially when u have little ones, Well im here online if you ever need someone to talk to, I dont know if this helps, but maybe meet some new friends, with little ones that are your kids age, I always met other ladies at the park etc with my kids, maybe you will, I hope things get better or do what you said maybe your friends will learn what there missing, a great loyal friend, :)))

982214 tn?1471458381
by krichar, Aug 28, 2013
I jope you dont mind me chiming :) I've started to meet friends through my kids activities... I don't put too much into it either (the old friends that is) , been hurt to many times :( it's just nice to have someone to chat with, I spend most of my days with the boys alone so I always enjoy if someone wants to tag along :) I have given up on the childless ones...my "best friend" I've had since high school isn't married and no kids... She has seen T one time since he's been born and I've seen her 2x since I was pregnant. She will text and see if I want to get together, I invite her to the parties but I don't let it bug me anymore when she doesn't show or cancels... In fact I make other plans and don't hold her "spot" lol!!

Maybe go to a mommy and me group or look on Facebook if you are on there for a moms group in your town... I did that for my special needs boy and met many moms in my area going through the same thing :) it's not a bad thing if you move forward too and meet new people:)

1386655 tn?1452100656
by journey2motherhood, Aug 28, 2013
Lisa, I wish I lived closer to you.  Most of my best friends live out of state now.  So with that being said, my sister has become my best friend - the person I go out with - well use to lol.  But even now of course the boys are her nephews so going out altogether isn't an issue.  But I think going to a Mommy and me maybe a good idea from Krichar.  Also do you have a parents of multiples club in your area?  I know they have them here but I'm just not really in the position to socialize right now (sounds awful doesn't it?)

1416390 tn?1333905204
by globetrot, Aug 29, 2013
I have joined a couple of Moms groups and I have ppl I can do things with- I just hate to think it is time to leave these friends behind- or maybe they are leaving me behind.  Just don't know how they can expect me not to drift off.  We will see.  I have sent my last text, email and/or voicemail trying to include them for a while.

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