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To My Mom... Anyone...

May 03, 2009 - 2 comments

I just sort of... let 1/4 of everything out onto a piece of paper.

This is what it says:

 I am trapped. I am afraid. When will it end? I want you to see me. I am lost. I hate myself more than anything, and I wish I was dead. I am only still alive because you would be devastated if I killed myself. I lie too much because you will not accept or understand the truth. I love you. Life scares me more than death. I don't know what you see in me, but I wish I did. I just want a hug, but I don't. I hate you. My head is always fighting itself and never winning. Nobody knows me because I am too scared to let them in. I don't mean to do this to you. I want to be happy. I keep on pretending to be happy even though IT'S KILLING ME.

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by Bridgette85, May 03, 2009
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time and I really hope that things get better for you. I am not going to say that I know what you are going through because no one does but you. I just hope that you will find some one you can trust enough to let in wether it be you parents a friend or a counsilor. Talking really does seem to help some times and your writting is very good for some one as young as you. So i wish you the best and I hope you find some one you can talk to. Things will get better they have to you can only go so far done before the only way to go is up.

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by iwouldbdanielle, May 04, 2009
Thanks, but I guess that's where I have a problem. I really have no one. I'm nonexistent to both parents and my mom is considerably active.... so everyone and anyone knows her. When I say everyone I do mean EVERYONE. She already doesn't like me, I don't want to give her any more reason. I'll stick to keeping shut. My say doesn't matter anyway.

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