May 03, 2009
I just sort of... let 1/4 of everything out onto a piece of paper.
This is what it says:
I am trapped. I am afraid. When will it end? I want you to see me. I am lost. I hate myself more than anything, and I wish I was dead. I am only still alive because you would be devastated if I killed myself. I lie too much because you will not accept or understand the truth. I love you. Life scares me more than death. I don't know what you see in me, but I wish I did. I just want a hug, but I don't. I hate you. My head is always fighting itself and never winning. Nobody knows me because I am too scared to let them in. I don't mean to do this to you. I want to be happy. I keep on pretending to be happy even though IT'S KILLING ME.