May 04, 2009
I went to pick up Trevor from daycare this afternoon, and was in a bit of a hurry. When I got there, his class was outside playing, so I rushed in to his classroom to get his lunchbox and papers, and his teacher was in there vacuuming. I smiled and nodded as I briskly walked past her to Trevor's cubby.
She looked up at me and I kid you not, her mouth dropped open and she looked astonished when she saw me. She turned off the vacuum and her expression changed from astonished to curious and concerned. I stopped in my tracks and looked at her with a puzzled look on my face like, "What? Is there a booger on my face or something?"
She seemed like she didn't want to say anything, but it was too late to not say anything given the expressions we had at this point. So she said, "Are you doing alright lately?"
Okay, this really threw me for a loop. With a really confused smile, I replied, "Yeah. Why?"
She said, "Oh. You just look...I guess...you look...are you losing weight? You look thinner every time I see you."
Once again, I was taken aback. It's not like I look anorexic. And what the heck?! She sees me every weekday and it's not like my appearance has drastically changed over the weekend. In fact--it hasn't changed at all.
I said, "Ummmm, no? I don't think I have. I keep a pretty consistant weight as far as I know."
She looked like she didn't believe me. She said, "You look like you're rapidly losing weight, especially around your waistline and jawline."
"I do? Huh. Well, no...I haven't been trying to lose weight."
She said, "You must be very active and have a high metabolism. I'll bet you're one of those who can eat anything you want."
I said, "Well, I do taekwondo a couple times a week, and that's a pretty good workout. And yeah, I can eat pretty much whatever I want, but that's not such a great thing because it's hard to resist bad eating habits sometimes."
It seemed by then that she was attempting to make the conversation as complimentary as possible, and was saying things like I definitely didn't need to worry about losing any weight and that was for sure. She really was trying to be nice about it. I'm sure she never intended to insult me.
I'm not insulted by her, but moreso at how this goes in general with people on such a regular basis. I just don't understand why I get comments like this so often. I have maintained a very healthy weight and figure as far as I'm concerned, but I always get comments from people like they think I'm too skinny and always say things like I need to gain weight.
Heck no! I maintain a weight of 124-128 lbs and I'm 5' 5"--according to my BMI, I'm exactly right in the mid-range of a healthy weight. I wear a pants size 6-9, depending on the brand of pants. To me, I feel a little on the "bigger" side. Not bigger as in feeling overweight, but built bigger, with a wider bone structure which I think makes my rear end look a bit wider than I'd prefer. Heck, in my perfect world, I'd weigh about 115 lbs and be a pants size 2-5. Yet I know if I actually achieved that, then people would have a genuine right to be concerned.
But good grief, I'm not anorexic, I don't have an eating disorder, and I'm a healthy weight. And somehow, not a week goes by without someone saying that I could stand to gain a few pounds, or make some insulting comment like I'm a "stick figure," or even the "You're so skinny you make me sick."
Well, I'm SO sorry I make you sick with my figure. Thanks for comparing yourself to me and putting me down to build yourself up.
Then what's worse is that I actually make a huge effort to eat healthy. Yes, I enjoy eating low-fat/low-sugar foods and fruits and veggies for snacks, and getting diet Coke because it's not so sugary. But I get cut down for that, too! So I also eat my fair share of fast food and snack foods. But then if I eat any of that, I get dirty looks and snide comments like, "You can eat what you want now, but it'll catch up to you one day."
I am so sick of people thinking there's something wrong with me, or just being downright rude because they don't like how *they* look.
I hate talking about weight, exercise, and eating habits with people, because it NEVER fails that I'm the one to get cut down. I hate going out to eat with people. I can't win one way or the other with what I wear, either: If I wear fitted clothes, people see how "anorexic" I am, and if I wear baggy clothes, I get comments on how I'm drowning in my clothes and why don't I wear stuff to show off my "cute figure."
Aaaggghhhh! I'm perfectly happy with the way I am, people! But what I can't stand is that I can't go ANYWHERE without getting put down or getting "concern" for my weight! Why can't people just mind their own business and keep their stupid comments to themselves?
It would be so much nicer if people gave me REAL compliments like, "You look great! Do you work out? I wish I could have a figure like that, too."
Or show their concern in such a way like, "I'll bet you have a high metabolism. What kinds of foods do you eat to maintain your weight?"
You know, something like that, so it's not a flippin' condescending put-down about how I look, or well-intended concern that ends up being insulting because to me it's like why don't you just treat me like I've got some incurable, terminal disease brought on by some mental distress that I can't handle?