May 10, 2009
Well, here I am again - for anyone who read my other journal, you know that I've gone on a "mission" to get my life cleared out and uncluttered.
Anyway, after reading the book by Geneen Roth that I mentioned in my other journal post (I actually read the book 3 times and am currently on my 4th round), I decided that nothing I had tried so far was working for weight loss, so I would try her concept of losing weight by “NOT dieting”. In the process of getting started, I needed to get rid of anything and everything that no longer fit/felt/looked well. I am still trying to learn how to be as nice to myself as I try to be to others.
I started this whole process by completely cleaning my bedroom and bathroom from ceiling to floor a couple of weeks ago; I've cleaned out the bathroom closet and my dresser drawers.
The next thing was my bedroom closet........... It took a bit longer to get at that for both practical and emotional reasons.
All I had was one hanging rod with a shelf above it and everything else was either crammed on the shelf or on the floor. I had my husband bring me some shelving material this past week in preparation for "THE BIG EVENT".. While HE took the dog to the vet yesterday for her annual shots, *I* began the undesirable task of emptying out the closet. I removed every single item and what a chore it was….
Hanging clothes were laid across the bed, to be gone through later; all the other "stuff" was stacked up elsewhere, also to be gone through later. I didn't realize it, but I had 12 pairs of shoes, still in their boxes. Yep, shoes are my THING.. Most of them were sandals and/or dress shoes, which I can't wear on a daily basis since I am not allowed to wear open toed shoes to work, and my job, being mostly outside, makes heels very impractical and unsafe.
Anyway, after I got the closet cleaned out, hubby began cutting the shelves to fit. He first replaced the shelf above the hanging rod, since the existing one was all warped, etc. After all, we ARE starting a whole new concept here. Then he added 6 more shelves (4 on one end of the closet, 2 on the opposite end).
While he was putting up the shelving, I began the difficult task of going through my clothes. Almost everything I had in there is size 6 or 8. I wore size 6 for years and when my thyroid went wacko, I began gaining and went to the 8’s, not knowing that, like the Energizer bunny, I would keep going and going and going………..In fact, I gained so fast that I just skipped right over the 10’s and went straight to 12. So far, I’ve been able to keep it from going higher.
I started the whole process with my belts, as I figured THAT wouldn’t be too hard. Well, it was kind of, but not SO bad because I have a couple of belts that are my favorites and those are the ones I wear anyway, so I got through that – it was just the idea that a couple that I used to wear all the time lacked about 3 inches of the ends even meeting.
I had several pairs of pants that even still had the tags on, as well as matching tops, etc. Since I have to wear a uniform to work every day, I can only wear “street clothes” on weekends, so I’d find something I liked, buy it and before I even had a chance to wear it, I’d outgrown it. And of course, at that time NOT knowing that I had a thyroid problem, I left them hanging there, thinking that I would be able to lose the weight as easily as I put it on and that I’d be able to fit into them again in no time……. Wow, how wrong could I have been!!!!!!!!!
After I got done going through the clothing, I tackled the shoes. Remember, 12 pairs still in their boxes…… My feet have gotten fat right along with the rest of me and a lot of them no longer fit. Plus I had a lot of other shoes that were stored in shoe racks or just piled up on the floor, for lack of enough room to keep them anywhere else. By the time I got to the shoes, it was late in the day and my feet were swelled as happens every day, so if I couldn’t slip my feet into the shoes easily, I didn’t keep them. Again, nothing that doesn’t fit/look/feel well.
Anyway, my closet is now very clean and definitely “pared down”. There is NOTHING left in it that doesn’t fit me. I didn’t save even 1 pair of “skinny” jeans or anything. I had some things that I *CAN* still wear, but they didn’t look good/feel comfy, etc ----- they are gone too. If I had any doubt at all as to whether or not I would wear something, I did NOT put it back into the closet.
I ended up with 2 boxes of clothing that will be donated to Good Will. Most of it is things that I used to wear to work when I had an office job and is all in very good condition. The type of things we all say “oh THAT’S too good to get rid of”…….. Well, it’s all packed up. Maybe the skirts, tops, etc will help someone who DOES have an office job, but can’t afford new. Along with the 2 boxes, I have a large garbage bag of shoes – I didn’t do an exact count, but I believe there are somewhere around 20 +/- pairs.
Besides the boxes and bags for Good Will, I have another whole pile of jeans and other things on my dining table that MIGHT fit my daughter or her “almost step daughter”. I’m not too sure about my daughter – she was dx’d last summer with lupus and has also gained a lot of weight from the meds. She’s a couple inches taller than me, but more “hippy”, so I hope she isn’t disappointed if she can’t get into them. We’ll see. She will be here later this morning to spend Mother’s Day.
You know, I’ve had to clear out my closet before, but never for the reason I had to do it this time. Usually when I go through this process, it’s because I’ve gotten some new stuff and just need to make room for it. Or if I DID gain weight and could no longer wear stuff, I knew I’d be losing it easily, so usually just packed it neatly into boxes to store until I could fit into them again.
I’d like to think that this time will be the same, but somehow, I suspect NOT…. I’ve never had SO much trouble losing weight, but then I’ve also NEVER had Hashimoto’s/hypothyroidism before either.
I don’t know how this is going to work for me. I have no intention of just “letting myself go”. I plan to continue to eat well and exercise regularly. I plan to stay involved in the WL&D forum and will do whatever I can to help get others started on the long journey to weight loss and I will ALWAYS advocate losing weight in a healthy sensible manner. I will also always hope that others don’t have to go through what I’ve gone through to accomplish their goals.
I recall that twehner5 made a comment in my other journal post about being hesitant to post much on WL&D because SHE doesn’t actually “DIET”; she might not diet by counting calories, carbs, etc, but she DOES focus on eating well, and I happen to know that she goes to the Y almost every day and gets plenty of exercise. Don’t stop posting twehner……… Remember: a DIET is simply what you eat…….. monkeys eat a diet of bananas, panda bears eat a diet of eucalyptus leaves, etc.
I am often reluctant to post there also, because *I* first advocate that anyone having a horribly hard time losing weight needs to be checked out by their doctor to make sure they don’t have underlying medical issues. I know there are a number of medical issues, including, but certainly not limited to, thyroid, insulin resistance, PCOS, even some meds etc that can cause weight gain and/or inability to lose. I always hope that by advocating that medical issues be considered at the start of the weight loss journey, I can help prevent someone else having to go through what I’ve been through. I apologize for sometimes sounding like a broken record, but I firmly believe that one SHOULD get checked for those, and/or other issues. I wish *I* could have gotten my doctor to check sooner, maybe I could have prevented SOME of what I’m going through now.
AND I must also flip the coin here – because I’m sure it sounds like I blame the whole weight issue on my thyroid and pretty much I do, BUT I’m sure there are SOME things *I* can do differently as well. Everyone says that weight loss comes down to a matter of “calories in/calories out” and I’m sure that’s right, but it still makes no sense.
I know that 1 lb = 3500 calories; therefore, I would really like a plausible explanation of how I can GAIN 5 lbs overnight when I haven’t eaten ANY calories…….
OR – if my body requires 1200-1500 calories just to function + more for exercise, etc and that’s about what I eat each day (or less), how can I continue to gain? I know there’s the water weight, undigested food, etc but even THAT can’t explain a 5 pound gain overnight.
If anyone reading this has an explanation, I’d be the first to want to hear it.
So now I have my closet all cleaned out and all the clothing/shoes residing there fit properly and are comfortable to wear. As time goes by, I may find that I don’t wear some things often enough to warrant having them take up the space and will most likely continue to weed them out. The idea is to keep everything uncluttered and comfortable. For right now --------- this has been a very taxing, emotional ordeal for me, so I’m just anxious to get the boxes/bags out of my house, so I no longer have to look at them.
For everyone who is a mother: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.
For those who have no children: HAPPY SUNDAY…….