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Phase 2 of my New "Diet" Concept

May 10, 2009 - 6 comments

Well, here I am again - for anyone who read my other journal, you know that I've gone on a "mission" to get my life cleared out and uncluttered.  

Anyway, after reading the book by Geneen Roth that I mentioned in my other journal post (I actually read the book 3 times and am currently on my 4th round), I decided that nothing I had tried so far was working for weight loss, so I would try her concept of losing weight by “NOT dieting”.  In the process of getting started, I needed to get rid of anything and everything that no longer fit/felt/looked well.  I am still trying to learn how to be as nice to myself as I try to be to others.  

I started this whole process by completely cleaning my bedroom and bathroom from ceiling to floor a couple of weeks ago; I've cleaned out the bathroom closet and my dresser drawers.  

The next thing was my bedroom closet...........  It took a bit longer to get at that for both practical and emotional reasons.  

All I had was one hanging rod with a shelf above it and everything else was either crammed on the shelf or on the floor.  I had my husband bring me some shelving material this past week in preparation for "THE BIG EVENT"..  While HE took the dog to the vet yesterday for her annual shots, *I* began the undesirable task of emptying out the closet.  I removed every single item and what a chore it was….  

Hanging clothes were laid across the bed, to be gone through later; all the other "stuff" was stacked up elsewhere, also to be gone through later.  I didn't realize it, but I had 12 pairs of shoes, still in their boxes.  Yep, shoes are my THING..  Most of them were sandals and/or dress shoes, which I can't wear on a daily basis since I am not allowed to wear open toed shoes to work, and my job, being mostly outside, makes heels very impractical and unsafe.  

Anyway, after I got the closet cleaned out, hubby began cutting the shelves to fit.  He first replaced the shelf above the hanging rod, since the existing one was all warped, etc.  After all, we ARE starting a whole new concept here. Then he added 6 more shelves (4 on one end of the closet, 2 on the opposite end).  

While he was putting up the shelving, I began the difficult task of going through my clothes.  Almost everything I had in there is size 6 or 8.  I wore size 6 for years and when my thyroid went wacko, I began gaining and went to the 8’s, not knowing that, like the Energizer bunny, I would keep going and going and going………..In fact, I gained so fast that I just skipped right over the 10’s and went straight to 12. So far, I’ve been able to keep it from going higher.    

I started the whole process with my belts, as I figured THAT wouldn’t be too hard.  Well, it was kind of, but not SO bad because I have a couple of belts that are my favorites and those are the ones I wear anyway, so I got through that – it was just the idea that a couple that I used to wear all the time lacked about 3 inches of the ends even meeting.

I had several pairs of pants that even still had the tags on, as well as matching tops, etc.  Since I have to wear a uniform to work every day, I can only wear “street clothes” on weekends, so I’d find something I liked, buy it and before I even had a chance to wear it, I’d outgrown it.  And of course, at that time NOT knowing that I had a thyroid problem, I left them hanging there, thinking that I would be able to lose the weight as easily as I put it on and that I’d be able to fit into them again in no time…….  Wow, how wrong could I have been!!!!!!!!!  

After I got done going through the clothing, I tackled the shoes.  Remember, 12 pairs still in their boxes……  My feet have gotten fat right along with the rest of me and a lot of them no longer fit.  Plus I had a lot of other shoes that were stored in shoe racks or just piled up on the floor, for lack of enough room to keep them anywhere else.  By the time I got to the shoes, it was late in the day and my feet were swelled as happens every day, so if I couldn’t slip my feet into the shoes easily, I didn’t keep them.  Again, nothing that doesn’t fit/look/feel well.  

Anyway, my closet is now very clean and definitely “pared down”.  There is NOTHING left in it that doesn’t fit me.  I didn’t save even 1 pair of “skinny” jeans or anything.  I had some things that I *CAN* still wear, but they didn’t look good/feel comfy, etc ----- they are gone too.  If I had any doubt at all as to whether or not I would wear something, I did NOT put it back into the closet.  

I ended up with  2 boxes of clothing that will be donated to Good Will.  Most of it is things that I used to wear to work when I had an office job and is all in very good condition.  The type of things we all say “oh THAT’S too good to get rid of”…….. Well, it’s all packed up.  Maybe the skirts, tops, etc will help someone who DOES have an office job, but can’t afford new.  Along with the 2 boxes, I have a large garbage bag of shoes – I didn’t do an exact count, but I believe there are somewhere around 20 +/- pairs.  

Besides the boxes and bags for Good Will, I have another whole pile of jeans and other things on my dining table that MIGHT fit my daughter or her “almost step daughter”.  I’m not too sure about my daughter – she was dx’d last summer with lupus and has also gained a lot of weight from the meds.  She’s a couple inches taller than me, but more “hippy”, so I hope she isn’t disappointed if she can’t get into them.  We’ll see.  She will be here later this morning to spend Mother’s Day.  

You know, I’ve had to clear out my closet before, but never for the reason I had to do it this time.  Usually when I go through this process, it’s because I’ve gotten some new stuff and just need to make room for it.  Or if I DID gain weight and could no longer wear stuff, I knew I’d be losing it easily, so usually just packed it neatly into boxes to store until I could fit into them again.  

I’d like to think that this time will be the same, but somehow, I suspect NOT….  I’ve never had SO much trouble losing weight, but then I’ve also NEVER had Hashimoto’s/hypothyroidism before either.  

I don’t know how this is going to work for me.  I have no intention of just “letting myself go”.  I plan to continue to eat well and exercise regularly.  I plan to stay involved in the WL&D forum and will do whatever I can to help get others started on the long journey to weight loss and I will ALWAYS advocate losing weight in a healthy sensible manner.  I will also always hope that others don’t have to go through what I’ve gone through to accomplish their goals.  

I recall that twehner5 made a comment in my other journal post about being hesitant to post much on WL&D because SHE doesn’t actually “DIET”; she might not diet by counting calories, carbs, etc, but she DOES focus on eating well, and I happen to know that she goes to the Y almost every day and gets plenty of exercise.  Don’t stop posting twehner……… Remember: a DIET is simply what you eat…….. monkeys eat a diet of bananas, panda bears eat a diet of eucalyptus leaves, etc.  

I am often reluctant to post there also, because *I* first advocate that anyone having a horribly hard time losing weight needs to be checked out by their doctor to make sure they don’t have underlying medical issues.  I know there are a number of medical issues, including, but certainly not limited to, thyroid, insulin resistance, PCOS, even some meds etc that can cause weight gain and/or inability to lose.  I always hope that by advocating that medical issues be considered at the start of the weight loss journey, I can help prevent someone else having to go through what I’ve been through.  I apologize for sometimes sounding like a broken record, but I firmly believe that one SHOULD get checked for those, and/or other issues.  I wish *I* could have gotten my doctor to check sooner, maybe I could have prevented SOME of what I’m going through now.  

AND I must also flip the coin here – because I’m sure it sounds like I blame the whole weight issue on my thyroid and pretty much I do, BUT I’m sure there are SOME things *I* can do differently as well.  Everyone says that weight loss comes down to a matter of “calories in/calories out” and I’m sure that’s right, but it still makes no sense.

I know that 1 lb = 3500 calories; therefore, I would really like a plausible explanation of how I can GAIN 5 lbs overnight when I haven’t eaten ANY calories…….  

OR – if my body requires 1200-1500 calories just to function + more for exercise, etc and that’s about what I eat each day (or less), how can I continue to gain?  I know there’s the water weight, undigested food, etc but even THAT can’t explain a 5 pound gain overnight.  

If anyone reading this has an explanation, I’d be the first to want to hear it.  

So now I have my closet all cleaned out and all the clothing/shoes residing there fit properly and are comfortable to wear.  As time goes by, I may find that I don’t wear some things often enough to warrant having them take up the space and will most likely continue to weed them out.  The idea is to keep everything uncluttered and comfortable. For right now --------- this has been a very taxing, emotional ordeal for me, so I’m just anxious to get the boxes/bags out of my house, so I no longer have to look at them.  

For everyone who is a mother: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.  
For those who have no children: HAPPY SUNDAY…….

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657315 tn?1319494987
by twehner5, May 10, 2009
Well, well, well...another journal that hits home.  I'm sorry that the closet-clearing was an emotional issue for you.  I feel frustrated that your doctor(s) cannot and/or WILL not help you.  From where I'm sitting, it is elementary!  A person with a normally functioning thyroid has what is THEIR normal metabolism....  IMHO, it should follow that when ones thyroid whacks out, that thyroid should be restored to *normal thyroid function* BEFORE the problem(s) began.  Does that make sense?  A doctor could look at pictures - and they could insist that the pictures are recent even, NOT FROM HIGH SCHOOL, LOL!  In your case, these doctors would be able to see that "something's rotten in Denmark."  Do *I* need to come down there?"

I made another "disclaimer" remark in a post this morning on WL&D about how I hesitate to advocate this type of weight loss....but it's what worked for me!

I'm glad you posted these journals and I do hope and pray that you get the help you need.  A fresh start of comfy clothes and shoes greeting you each day is a WONDERFUL example for all of us.  Do you make house calls?

You need quite a few hugs today.  Catch these:   ((((HUGS))))  You are OBSW  (One Brave Short Woman!)  Ducking out of this journal now.  Just thought you needed to smile!  

269786 tn?1243797307
by PMoon, May 10, 2009
I'll have to check out the book you mentioned. I have been trying to "unclutter" my life for a while now. I still can't believe all the stuff I have though. I've gone through my clothes/shoes and given some to Goodwill but I need to do more. And I could be more brutal with other "stuff." I have read Feng Shui books where they say your mind/body get cluttered too when your surroundings are cluttered. The air gets stagnant. I believe it. Truly, when I have cleared a path in this place, I feel great. But I am in the process of painting my condo and stuff is everywhere. It's depressing. But I thought - as I move each item to paint, I should make a pile of keep and a pile of Goodwill. I mean seriously, if this place burnt down - how much of it would I miss - not much. Just the clothes really. Those are hard to replace. It's funny, I took in a coat to get dry cleaned and the cleaners burnt down. I was really upset - I loved that coat. Then I went to put in a claim and they said it was still  alive - my coat was offsite getting cleaned when the fire happened. Clothes help define who we are. They say something about us - our personality. They are like a calling card to the world. So it's easy to form attachments and it's hard to let go of something when you realize you don't fit in it anymore. It's very emotional.

And by the way,you are not a broken record. New people are on this site all the time. And besides, there are proabably people out there who need to hear the message about Hypothyroidism several times before they go - huh, you know - that might be me. The WL&D forum needs you.

Want to mention - I'm going to see a Ayurvedic (?) person/dietician next week or two and see what she says about my diet. I feel so bloated and puffy all the time. And I have a tendency toward cysts and kidney stones. My body is not digesting things properly. I'll let you know how it goes. I really believe my diet needs some tweeking and I hope to have the willpower to change and feel better (and get the weight off.)

Take care - Happy Mother's Day.

649848 tn?1534637300
by Barb135, May 10, 2009
Twehner - thanks for your comments.  I really appreciate the support I get from you and others on the forum.  It means a lot to me.  

I do believe, as far as doctors are concerned,I'm pretty much on my own as far as my weight issues are concerned.  They DO go by the "calories in/calories out" philosophy, after all.  I will get something figured out eventually.  

There are all types of ways to lose weight - one thing might work for you, but not for someone else; and what works for them might not work for you.  WL&D is, after all, about weight loss and dieting and there are as many ways to reach a goal as there are those of us trying to reach a goal.  The main thing is to advocate doing it in a safe sensible way.  I think we can all agree on that....  Please don't stop telling people how you reached your goal (or almost) - you have done pretty much what I am attempting to do, pretty much as I read the book about.  It worked for you, maybe it will work for me. I'm praying that it will.

PMoon - you are very right - our clothes DO tell a lot about us and it's hard to take when a favorite shirt or pair of pants no longer fits.  It's like having to give up a good friend.  

I've actually wondered about some of the stuff in my own house - and I AM trying to weed out some of.  If something happened to me, I'd sure feel sorry for the person who has to go through my things and try to figure out where this came from or why I kept that.  I do have a lot of special things given to me by very special people and I always wonder if I need to keep them forever.  So along with the clothes that no longer fit, I'm also trying to weed out other things, I no longer need/use/want.  

I've done a little bit of reading about Ayuverdic (sp) medicine, but not a lot.  I know that the remedies have been used for centuries and apparently work or they wouldn't have been around for so long.  I sometimes wonder about my OWN body and digestion, etc.  I DO have a lot of trouble with reflux, but mine is caused by bile rather than acid.  I will be very interested in how your appointment turns out.  How did you come across this person?  Does insurance cover this type of thing or is all out of pocket?  I have considered trying to find someone like that, but my fear is that I will be expected to switch to a diet that I won't be able to live with for very long; or have to "pop a double handful of pills" every day.  My job doesn't always allow me to stop to count out pills and I'm often not where I can easily get the right food...  

Please do keep me posted on how that works out for you.  

Thanks to both of you for your comments.  I hope that somewhere along the line, someone will get some good from my experiences and maybe not have to go through the same things.  

Avatar universal
by Smilerdeb, Jun 01, 2009
I can relate so much about the 'clothes business' and also the tears and feelings of doom and gloom going through them all.
Its a way of 'leaving the past behind' and making a new start.
Its very hard to comprehend it all, isnt it?
But once those clothes have too will the feeling of helplessness regarding the weight.
Start focusing on YOU and not the weight.....give yourself time and most of all , be kind to yourself.
I used to think God was punishing me......
Now I know thats not true.
I know I am still the same person, I still have the same compassion and I still have the same heart that loves someone.
Its a transitional stage that is one huge upheaval in your life.
Once over that transition , then comes the feeling of woth and self esteem within yourself.
There is light at the end of the just takes so damn long but ..its there :)
Hugs xxx

793305 tn?1493929118
by hope4thegoodstuff, Jun 01, 2009
I hope you don't mind me popping in.  I came thru from smilerdeb's portal.  I do feel for you.  I have a house that .........well if there is a flat ain't empty....and my closets are all the same way.  I got started once a while back.  Started with my makeup.  Some of the stuff in that drawer is sooo old it would probably eat my face if I used it, but it was still difficult to toss it out.  And I collect shoes (ryka fan) like kids collect matchbox cars.  I love my tennis shoes and my burkies and my boots and oh, I just love them all.  Well not the steel toes, but have to have those for work...even they are more stylish than most.  I always got to be different ya know?

I never dreamed when I was a child that I would get this huge.  Size 22 here and trying, hopefully not in vain, to keep from getting bigger.  I refuse to buy a larger size clothes.  My eating habits could easily be improved...but I also have to be conscious of the blood sugar dropping out.  That really bites.  I don't like those episodes.  If I eat more protein that helps.    

I know people that stop drinking soda and lose 10 lbs.  I stop drinking it and gain two, then I start drinking it again and gain 10.  It's frustrating.  My job keeps me very active.  I'm on my feet and moving every day and it is not difficult to get in the 10,000 steps thing.  Occasionally I get 16,000.  But I don't lose weight.  I don't take breaks between lunches are small...though I did give up the lean cuisine thing.  I wasn't losing weight and so many of those cardboard micro meals are all pepper and little else.  phooey.  

But I definitely  need to unclutter my life.  I have to do it when my husband isn't looking.  : )  He has clutter too.  

649848 tn?1534637300
by Barb135, Jun 04, 2009
Smilerdeb - thanks so much for your comments.  You've been a huge support for me every since I joined the thyroid community.  Sometimes I almost feel like a big baby whining about MY problems when YOU and some others have been through stuff so much worse.  I'm not sure, but in my case, things might have to get worse BEFORE they get better because *I* still have my thyroid and apparently, it's still in the "die off" phase - I'm not sure how I'll know when it's completely DEAD.  

I AM so very glad though that I started the process of cleaning out/uncluttering -- I don't know if it makes any sense or not, but even on my "good" days, I don't have a lot of energy and somehow it seemed to be taking so much it to just MAINTAIN the *stuff*.  Trying to find places to put everything, shuffling stuff around whenever I needed to find something that I "know is in here" and then putting in more stuff on top of all that --------  

I'm in the process of doing the same thing to my whole house.  It seems like I've constantly got a "Good Will" pile in the dining room these days.  I should have piled all the stuff out in my wood shop and had a yard sale when I was all done, but it seems like once I get the stuff in a pile I HAVE to get rid of it NOW.  Maybe it's a fear that I will end up NEEDING something that I planned to get rid of and I'd bring it back ----- Somehow, I think it's just a feeling of panic over whether or not I can actually get rid of these things....  I've always sort of been that way though - when I want something gone, I want it gone NOW - I don't want it cluttering up any more.  Patience never WAS one of my better virtues....... lol

Hoping4thgoodstuff - I don't mind you jumping in here at all, in fact, I'm glad you did and it's nice to know you.  I totally understand your shoe "thing" - I think it was harder to get rid of my shoes than anything else; especially because I had never even had a chance to wear most of them.  I have to wear a certain type of shoes for work (I'd love to know where you buy "stylish" steel toed shoes, please?), so can only wear my sandals and "pretty" shoes on weekends.  Wow - it still hurts to think of all the pairs of brand new *expensive* shoes I GAVE to Good Will.  

And I can see you totally understand with the weight thing too.  I'm like you: other people stop drinking sodas, lose 10 pounds; I stop drinking sodas and GAIN 5.  And I will never understand how I can gain weight overnight when I'm not eating ANY calories, but yet it takes 3500 calories to gain/lose a pound.  It's all beyond me.  

You mentioned the "sugar dropping out" - does that mean you are diabetic?  I have a lot of diabetes in my family also, both type I and II and I've considered the possibility of insulin resistance/prediabetes, but my doctor says "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU - YOU JUST NEED TO *MOVE* MORE".  I guess I would have thought 5 - 10 miles/day was enough movement for anybody, but according to him, I was totally mistaken........

I have toyed with the idea of finding a nutritionist or dietician to help get me on track.  I guess the main reason I haven't ALREADY is because I DO concentrate on fresh fruits/veggies, whole grains, low fat dairy, etc, etc - so I'm not sure what else they would be able to do (don't get me wrong - I'm not an expert and don't "know it all").  

For now, I just have to take Deb's advice and "be nice" to myself.  I've always been a firm believer that "God never gives us more than we can handle" - I guess God trusts me more now, than I trust myself, so I'll let Him guide me.  

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