May 15, 2009
So today was a big day!! ever since we found out the sex of our little one (several weeks ago) all my friends keep asking if we have bought anything - baby clothes etc.. they all ran out and bought things the day they found out.. i have had several friends want me to meet them at the baby store and go shopping, but honestly i'm still terrified.. and this all still doesn't seem real! I'm so scared our miracle will be taken away from us like all the other pregnancies that I have not been able to bring myself to go into a baby store.. until today.. there was a huge sale i saw a week ago.. and i debated in my mind.. my husband said i should go get a few things, but i just am so scared, and think.. what if we loose this baby and then i have to look at baby clothes that will hurt even more! But today i did it.. i went to the store, bought a few things and just about broke down in tears at the register!! Tears of joy, nervousness, scared tears and disbelief!! who knew it would be such an overwhelming moment!! Now that i'm home with the few cute things I got I'm feeling better, more confident, that this is really real.. and maybe... hopefully we really will be holding our long awaited little one come this October!!! Gosh i still tear up!! phewww!!