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A 7 year old's worst nightmare..

Apr 17, 2008 - 4 comments
Tags:

suicide

,

mother

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family

,

father

,

7 years old

,

nightmare

,

worst

,

stress

,

Pain

,

knife

,

Fear



Alrighty, I think it's about time to post some stuff about my childhood (even though I am still considered a child. xP)
I think the worst thing happened to me when I was 7.
I was in my room, watching Tv.
I heard my parents yelling, so I got up and slowly walked out.
I walked to the kitchen and peeked through the doorway. They were yelling even more. I can't remember what it was about.. They seemed pretty ticked.
All of a sudden, my mother grabbed a large knife, and right when I saw it, I was expecting something bad to happen, but nothing could prepare me for what happened next.
She raised the knife, yelled something, and then stabbed her wrist with it.
It went deep. Blood spattered everywhere. She screamed.
My dad shouted, "NO!" and ran straight to the phone and called the hospital. My mom was sitting on the ground, holding her wrist and sobbing. She had dropped the knife.
Her wrist was bleeding pretty badly.
By that time, I was terrified.
I turned and ran to my room, trying not to cry. Me and my sister shared a room, and she asked me if anything was wrong.
I shook my head and sat on my bed.
Not long after, we heard sirens.
The ambulances and cops had come. Back then, I didn't understand that my dad would have been considered a suspect - especially if she had died. Luckily, he was never taken into custody or questioning. A few cops talked to my dad and one came to talk to me, my brother, and my sister.
They didn't tell us exactly what had happened - they just said that 'mommy had gotten hurt and needed to go to the doctor'. I was the only one that knew what really happened. It haunted me for months. It still does.
I doubt my parents knew that I saw everything. There is no way I'm telling them. They might try to deny it happened. I'm afraid of what my mother would do.. possibly have a break down.. She's had a stressful life, and I feel sorry for her. The last thing I want to do is make it worse by letting her know her youngest daughter had seen her attempt to commit suicide 4 years ago.

(What I'm pretty happy about is that they've never had a bad arguement like that since!)

Comments
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Avatar universal
by boots342, Apr 17, 2008
HI this was aterrible thing to hear and see.I as a child had witnessed many bad THINGS with my parents.So please get some HELP for this speak to a doctor . Sort it out NOW YOU ARE YOUNG. This can affect you and cause you problems later on in life. I am a mother to and i am sure your mum would want you to get HELP.She might be aware you heard and saw this.TRY to speak to somebodyPLEASE.DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE.

482738 tn?1235193237
by Venya, Apr 17, 2008
Thanks for being so concerned. I'll try to see what I can do about it. I don't really like the thought of getting therapy or anything, but if it'll help, then I don't see why not. I was talking to my friend about this earlier.. She's pretty cool, and she always listens. She always helps me out when I need it, and I help her out when she needs it. I'm okay for now, I suppose. I can wait a bit. I just need to gather up enough courage to try and talk to my parents about it.. I also need to think of how to approach them on the subject. I can't just walk up to them and say, "Hey mom and dad, 4 years ago I saw mom try to commit suicide. So how've you been?"
I'm sure me and my friend will come up with something.

Avatar universal
by boots342, Apr 17, 2008
Hi I AM GLAD YOU CAN TALK TO YOUR FREIND ABOUT IT.
CAN YOU SPEAK TO AN ADULT RELATIVE ABOUT THIS.
I WOULD NOT EXPECT YOU TO GO TO YOUR PARENTS WITHOUT SPEAKING TO AN ADULT YOU TRUST FIRST.THERAPY IS NOT SO SCARY AS YOU MAY THINK IT CAN BE A GREAT HELPAND THEY ARE "NORMAL PEOPLE" WHO CARE.
I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE .

482738 tn?1235193237
by Venya, Apr 17, 2008
I used to go to counseling. It didn't really help much, it just ticked me off. I always thought, "Why do I need to go to counseling? There's nothing wrong with me. No one else I know has to go to counseling.." That was in 4th grade, I think.
I just hope that therapy will be more effective. Once again, the advice is much appreciated. =)

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