I'm 20 and I am struggling to afford my baby. I had a great paying job as does my boyfriend but things get expensive with a baby. I would of LOVED to go on state aid to have their help (because honestly I do need it) but because of my homes income we don't qualify.
I would love to go back to my old job and make what I did before maternity leave but the fact is that I can't work full time, go to school AND take care of a baby. There just isn't enough hours during the day.
I live in Arizona (where our darling monkeyfish lives) and I can honestly say that things here are VERY expensive! More so than a lot of other states.
My sister is a SAHM and her husband has a GREAT career and pays for everything. But they still struggle for money with 2 kids. Kids are expensive I don't think people really realize it until they have one. :(
kudos to those that told a very truthful and realistic story. it doesnt mean you love your kids less, it doesnt mean you are not a top notch mom, it means it is hard at any age if you are not ready (dont we all think we are ready for anything as a teen?)
andi my placenta never had that bucket of money, hmmm
spacecadet i worked mon-thurs 7-5. my doc took us to big trips yearly and i had bonuses and vacation time with a retirment package, but i wanted to have more time with my son. i went back to school and became a massage therapist i just loved working with my clients! i did both for sometime but it was too much. now i stay home with my kids and it has been an opportunity worth its weight in gold. i will go back to school or work eventually, but with dh gone for months right now in the navy it is just easier to stay here with the kiddos.
I agree that the topic needs to be closed. But don't get mad at people for posting on the journal YOU wrote. If you don't want people to post on it anymore than just delete it. I have a feeling that people are just going to keep going on about it or try to start more drama until there isn't any evidence of it in the first place.
thanks for your input! trust me honey my day went WONDERFUL, i only wish your life was as well, then you wouldnt be returning to my journal to prove your "point" , but hey! if it makes ya feel better, im glad i could help!
You all seem pretty passionate about your situations. I just happened onto the site and was curious about the "shut up" comment. I'm a 30-ish Dad of 3, but didn't start having kids until I was 27 (no, not planned at all). Even at that age it was very difficult figuring out what exactly to do, even with 2 very young brothers and famly support. Most new mothers (and fathers) find a way to "cope and deal" with their children at any age (like I did). We find a way. For teenage parents, I can't imagine the hardships/ circumstances they deal with (like unapproving families), or the sacrifices they make, but I know most of the younger kids I grew up around (my brother's friends) made it work. I wouldn't wish children on a teen or even some 20-somethings I know, but if it happens, which it does...make the best of a beautiful gift. I was scared, tired, helped, broke, uplifted, proud, dissapointed, injured (it was only a headbutt and an eye-gouge, don't worry), dirty, out of gas, schooled (Mom's know everything), let down, happy, scared (did I mention that twice?), and granted 3 beautiful children that make me pull my hair out every great day. Good luck to all you on this site...we need it, right? ***@****.
Alright a Dad speaks out! I know you guys got it tough too lol dont worry we appreciate you. keep up the good work. yeah the Shut Up sparks some curiosity from everywhere i think sorry about that. My feathers were a bit ruffled at the moment, plus, a sweet "please drop it" was falling on deaf ears at the time. but i think its died down finally. we all got our 2cents in!
First, love how you made a journal post that says, "SHUT UP" and yet everyone won't stop talking.
Second, love how this went from teenage children wanting to have babies to spelling errors. Seriously people... the spelling is so mundane and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Everyone is acting childish, especially those who want to point out how immature someone else is.
We're all on the same page except for a tiny little handfull of people (most of whom have LEFT MEDHELP) and yet we want to keep rehashing our points so we feel superior or "right"? I find it so incredibly interesting that we're arguing with one another about something we AGREE on. The only problems are spelling errors and a few little tidbits, facts, or opinions that someone finds offensive, rude, or incorrect.
As my mom used to say... "Can't we all just get along?"
Now... I want you all to find ONE spelling error in my note. LOL! Spelling/gramma does not distinguish an educated person from an illiterate person. Some people are good at spelling and some are good at calculus. I, for one, suck at math. Does that mean I am stupid? Answer that and you're all dead meat!!! LOL!
Oh no! I found my own spelling error! I forgot to add an "r" to grammar! OOPS! I'm actually wearing one of my husband's t-shirts and it says, "I is a kollege stoodent." I think I need to go back to school. ~~~total sarcasm
Well I've realized that people are often too opinionated and don't know how to shut their mouths or move on or let it go until they've made complete fools of themselves. I won't name names, but quite a few have made fools of themselves and lost all credibility with me here. Not you, luv2bmommy. I'm sure you know who I am speaking of. With that said, peace out! (Okay, I'm so totally white, but I live near the ghetto so I can say it!!!)
When someone makes a journal entry titled "SHUT UP", it won;t usually to much but provoke the opposite. People are going to share there opinions regardless if some people "want the topic to end". The reason people come to public chat forums is so they can have a place to post questions/answers/opinions. I don;t really see how any of the recent posters have made fools of themselves. I have seen far more rash behavior from a few of you when abortion comes up. We all have different nerves and different things that strike them, and people ate are allowed to say what they want when they want on a public chat forum. If you care about your opnion as much as some of these ladies do, then your not really too concerned with who's feelings get hurt in the process.
And as far as spelling goes, I don't usually pick on people for extreme mispellings, but I can see why it gets on peoples nerves. Again, everyone is different, and its not for anyone to tell anyone else when they should stop sharing their opinion on something thats public. Have the journal entry removed if you want it to stop, otherwise except that a journal entry entitles "SHUT UP" is going to kep drawing attention, and therefore it probably wont stop. Just my opinion, not meaning to sound rude.
Oh, ziggy, thank you so much for that. I didn't realize I was so rash about murdering unborn babies! I'll be so incredibly careful next time around considering I haven't flipped my lid over that one in........... months. Thank you for bringing up my past mistakes and throwing them in my face. How thoughtful of you!!!
I realize I sound immature but that is beyond my caring at this point. You keep bringing up the same views, points, and opinions that every single person on here already has. NEXT TOPIC... thank ya!
By the way, luv2bmommy has her reasons for keeping this journal entry going. We are very much aware that this "won't just stop" until it is deleted. We're not morons! Why is it everyone keeps attacking everyone elses' intelligence?
see and thats what I am talking about. Some people are sensitive about abortion, some about teen pregnancy. i dont even know what "mistakes" your talking about because i have never taken a strong stand point on any abortion debate on this forum, I dont get involved. I was just saying that some people see its over and move on while some people want to make their point and kaie it loud and clear because they feel so strongly about it. Maybe you took what I said out of context because Inever have nor never will single out a person on this web site and call out any flaw or fault they might have....thats not my style.
if you have flipped your lid over that in the past, then that is something you obviously feel strongly about, and in that case I would never tell you to just drop the topic....hopefully that makes a little more sense.
i dont ever remember acting that way toward people in an abortion topic, so this must be about someone else. i care about my opinion as much as they do which is why this journal entry isnt going anywhere. lol i have seen many of them make fools of themselves. but again thats one of my opinions. yet i DO care about hurting others feelings, thats the difference between me and them. i think its a horrible character flaw to TRY and hurt someone, does it make you feel better? if so you are sick and should be ashamed. and if this is a place for us to be "free to share our opinion and say what we want when we want" then i am exercising that by saying "shut up" . and nobody is making a good point ziggysgrl. not anymore, they are taking stabs at people. i would suggest finding a new hobby!
I'm not attacking anyone's intelligence. keep it going if you want. But it has to be understood that as long as its here there will be comments on it, so as much as you all say "next topic drop it" someone else will be here to say no and keep it going.
Hmmmmmmm... I think I did misunderstand you then! Because I made posts in the past about abortion (pro-life) and there were a few instances where I didn't necessarily "flip my lid" (I know, I know... I used those words) but I got extremely passionate about it and upset about other peoples' attitudes. But I never wanted to hurt any specific person's feelings either. It was more "my point and belief is right" instead of having an open discussion. I'm better about it now but catch me on a bad day and I say things I regret!!!
Again, luv2bmommy, I am not trying to hurt anyones feelings. And I dont think you need to remove your journal, I was just under the impresion you wanted people to really SHUT UP with this, and I guess I was just stating the obvious that nobody will if its here. I dont have a problem with your journal, I was just trying to show it from both sides...those who want it to end, and those who will keep it going....
well thats exactly it....this topic has obviously struck a nerve similiar to that, and with people so passionate about their opinion being right and that is that, ultimatly you are going to end up with that you have here.....there really isnt two ways around that, it is human nature...unfortunatly
i know i didnt mean you trying to hurt others... and i think its clear about the ones i DO mean and yeah i think its highly possible they may run with this as far as they can. but thats what makes the world go around for some people so if its not this it will be something else. i can only hope they will learn to enjoy life a little bit more.
So I want to go back to school. I was thinking of an online university! There is a Medical Administrative course that I am really interested in that could eventually lead to be becoming a obstetric sonographer! Wouldn't that be so incredibly amazing?!
I am young myself (almost 19) and TTC. I am only TTC because I had a "surprise" pregnancy and it ended in miscarriage at 14 weeks, we have everything planned for a baby (clothes etc) I am confident at getting pregnant at this time because we both have good paying jobs and can support this baby (as I am Canadian I do not have the worry of medical bills etc) anyways to get to my point the young woman that was in question I did have issues with because she openly stated at a couple times that it would be her Mother supporting her. I think if you are trying to conceive you should be able to FULLY in every way support the child. Suprise is one thing, you have to adjust and make things work... if you are going to try you need to have it planned out already.
Yes, I am working on one book and I wanted to put together an anthology of poetry as well. Poetry doesn't sell as well as non-fiction though! This book is going to be amazing and I cannot wait!!! I need my BIL to come and install Microsoft Word on my computer and then I need to hook up the printer. I've written most of it on paper but I need to edit, spellcheck, etc. and type it out for publishing! I'm not ready to disclose what the book is about yet, but it's definitely relevant to women on this forum and I will need "interviews" soon!
Good luck to you as well!!! I think I am going to test tomorrow. I need to know why I am feeling so... weird lately. LoL.
Only issue is I didn't get my levels checked after D&C but my body seems back to normal (normal CM etc)
I am sitting here feeling like I might vomit.. but am STARVING at the same time LoL. And I've started having really vivid dreams of twins again (something I only got when preggo)
JANUARY MOMMIES *whoot* (fingers crossed, hopefully)
wow people sure get upset when their toes are stepped on and want this post gone now, then in a bit when it dies down they will go back and make fun of others. i hope your mothering skills are far more superior than that. it wasnt a simple error in spelling, it was like i was reading what a 3rd grader would write. if you can say what you feel then i can too. you both still dont get anything anyone had to say because you are both so closed minded to anything other than your own view, shame dam.n shame.
now i back out of this page because you can only beat a dead horse for so long and the flies are getting to me
im freaking overexited! seriously? i CANT WAIT! wow how do you find the patience to sit there and write all that out on paper! much less type! too bad you dont have someone to do it for you... "come here abigail, time for a typing lesson!" haha!
perty! girl i was wondering when you would join the conversation again! rainbows and sunshine in here, come on in! life just doesnt keep ya entertained like it did back in the day does it? of course you can say what you feel, honey i could listen all day. yes indeed, my mothering skills are superb. dont you have yours to worry about? but you know i could give you tips if you ever needed them you just ask. im an open book. not saying you do need them just in case, you know. because thats how us mothers do!
luv2bmommy---It was VERY hard for me to write by hand but I began it before we got the computer which we got just a few months ago, right before Christmas. I've been waiting since then for my BIL to install Microsoft Word (he has the program and wants to do it himself... men... you know!) but they had to file bankruptcy, move, etc. and it's been really stressful so I haven't bugged him.
I type 80 wpm though, so I'm not worried about typing it up! Writing it by hand was the hard part!!! I only wrote about half of the book by hand before I gave up!!! LOL! I can't wait to begin it again and sell it for publication. You'll definitely know when I get to that point!
i dont even think we have microsoft word on ours either. we need that too though because i need to write papers for school and stuff. i originally was going for elementary education, but i have been looking more into things like marine biology, montessori methods, and other things, i really just want to dabble in it all! i told my husband i wonder if there is a profession out there for me, because what i really want to do is just play outside forever. haha sounds ridiculous i know. but i just really feel like i want to be outside with children, learning, and having fun at the same time! and not have the restrictions of four walls and schedules. he just called me crunchy lol.
Marine biology sounds like it'd be perfect for you then! I personally love science and the medical field is very scientific. I know what you mean about wanting to dabble in it all!!! There's SO MUCH out there to learn and so much I'd love to do!
Okay, I'm so tired my eyes are starting to hurt! Goodnight one and all!
So I can't sleep and I am looking around on the net and I find this MESS! How funny it is to me that there are grown adults and kids ( yes I said kids) saying what good parents they are and this has been going on for HOURS!! Where are your kids why aren't you reading to them and playing with them? and if it is midnight and they are sleeping where will you be when they wake up ? I think it is sad that people have children out of selfishness not thinking how they will pay for medical care or college. As for those of you on government assistance I am TIRED of PAYING FOR YOUR KIDS! How many of you YOUNG mothers can say you don't live pay check to pay check? There are a couple of you who can't even spell much less form an intelligent thought.
Good night sweetheart! You're a wonderful mother to your children. You're very bright, educated, responsible, loving, caring, and you hold their very best interests at heart. Thank you for being beautiful and composed!
Aww, Beth, no one has to defend themselves. Have a blessed day! I see you're up at midnight as well... I hope you wake up refreshed and ready to take on whatever challenges face you in a few hours as well!
Okay this is something that just doesn't compute with me... I am Canadian and maybe this is because I have always lived here and it's just the way it is here, but how does any one in the States afford to give birth! I mean up here we all pay taxes and have Universal health care... I'm pregnant I walk in, I have the kid I walk out. I just couldn't imagine having to pay for all the medical bills that go along with being pregnant and birth. I don' t think I would ever be able to afford kids paying that. LoL
it can be expensive! with my first i had aetna and i forget how much the hospital bill was now but it was manageable. the copays werent bad either, like 25 a visit. the testing wasnt much. i didnt have any anesthesia in the hospital which is sometimes expensive too. my sis just had her baby with an epidural and it was big deposit then the cost of the epidural itself. with my second, no bill to speak of shes a navy brat!
Up here we don't pay for anything, it is literally you get what you want/ need when you need/ want it. I think a lot of people take it for granted. I know I am SO thankful that I don't have to consider finances in with my health.
spelling ha i know they're talking about me,I type so damn fast and am in a hurry to get things out i dont even pay attention to what i type until i post.Let alone this stupid keyboard.I guess that just makes me an idiot huh.Wow i really need help....
If you have a good job, you generally have good insurance. The cheapest of my 3 deliveries was $15000 (most expensive was easily double that), my out of pocket costs was less than 3%. And for multiple ultrasounds, labs, and all of my prenatal visits I paid one single co-pay of $15. With the most expensive one, my cost was even less as the co-pays were cheaper then.
But if you have a garbage job, you end up paying much more. Of course you could live off of the taxpayers and pay nothing. Seems to be the trend lately here in the US.
Not to harp on the spelling aspect, but it seriously gives me pause for thought about what's happening in the US education system these days.
I type very fast and am often in a hurry to do my "bashing", as it is so kindly referred to. Yet most of the time, I don't make a lot of spelling errors. I do often wonder how much time is spent on learning to spell any more in school. And that's not a slam on anyone.
Is it seriously considered sort of obsolete anymore? Is it texting that's bringing this about?
How does the idea of there not being a father in teh picture have anything to do with my statement? If there were no father there to begin with then obviously I could not be a sahm to begin with right?? Well, that seems like a given. And, who said the father to my kids is an 18 yr old boy? My husband is much older and has a wonderful career that he has worked in for more than 20 years.
I did "think about that" and my answer to you is that when I was to go to college, my parents couldn't afford to pay for it. Then I got married and we could not afford college either. My husband had child support to pay and we had bills. He was working a great job but college was just not something we could afford without living in an unsafe dump somewhere. I chose to start my family because that was more important to me than struggling to survive just to get through college and then not work on my career because I then wanted a family.
If something were to happen to my husband, first off, he has life insurance because he is smart enough to do that. Second, my family would help me if necessary until I got on my feet. Im sorry that you would not help your child if your child was in the same position. I know my parents love me and would offer that help and support. I know I would do the same for my own child because that is what a loving parent does.
Now, YOU think about that. What kind of parent would say that they would not help their child in need?
This is my only thought on the situation, WITHOUT reading ALL the stuff posted on this subject matter. A girl of the tender age of 16 came here looking for someone to tell her it was okay to have a baby at her age. Even for us mothers that conceived at a young age it is not our place to advise her based on our own experiences. I had my son at 19, but I would never condone (sp?) a teenager puposely getting pregnant. Nor would I condemn one that fell pregnant (purposely or not). FYI......I was married at 18 and fell prego 6 mos later.
However, I agree there was way too much rudeness going on....Some things could have been simply put and left at that. The truth is, this young lady WILL do what she wants regardless what any of us say. The thing is when we're (in general) pushed one way, we tend to go the other way. So all the harsh comments probably helped make up this young girls mind so you (the ones being nasty) probably helped her to make her decision. Which ultimately may/ or may not be the best one for her. Trust me, all the negative comments she got, probably had a bigger impact on her ....
Peekawho! I am in the States and I spell just fine. I type 80 wpm as well. For some people it is easier, for others it is more difficult. It doesn't matter where you live! So now we've gone from children wanting to have babies to spelling errors, to attacking the US education system. ? I realize you said it wasn't a slam and I honestly don't take it personally because I know I am intelligent. Just trying to understand where on earth that came from!
I find it hard to understand, and peekawho this isn't directed at you but everyone, why people expect tolerance but will make general statements about one core group. For example, lately I've been hearing a LOT of people generalizing Christians as "hypocrites, liars, freaks," etc. Well that is not a fair statement. Yes, there are SOME who are doing things they shouldn't be doing. Others who are doing what they should be and yet are labeled self-righteous. No one is perfect and I don't expect perfection from anyone! But let's not make labels for cultures or certain beliefs or groups because most of the time it's just a personal opinion that stems from a personal experience and doesn't hold an ounce of truth.
And Crysi, it is VERY expensive to have a baby in the US! Thousands of dollars. I know there are some presidential hopefuls who want to turn all of that around. There are pros and cons to the universal health care system and I don't know how Americans would take it, you know?
Show of hands: Who's parents paid for their education? Mine didn't, not a dime. I started college ar 17, I worked full time and went to school full time. While pregnant with my second, I went back to school full time and earned most of my degree in ECE. And now, as the mother of three young children I am in school again full time.
Education is so important. My husband has a very large insurance policy as well. But the way the cost of living is going, it isn't going to be something you can rely on to last for long.
my sis got preggo on her 16th b-day and gave birth to a beautiful lil girl that october.....6 months later, my mom, sis, brother and 6 month old neice were hit by another car, the carseat must not have been buckled in right because my neice was shoved into the dashboard in the front and she was immediatly flown to Cabbell Huntington Children's Hospital......her lungs had been crushed and she was and still is paralyzed from the chest down......my sis being a young mom (17) didnt know what to do for her because she couldn't handle the thought of having to raise a child in her condition....she lost it literally, her and her husband split and my mom has had custody of my neice for almost 5 years now.....my sis has 2 other daughters and one of them was born with multiple sclorosis (sp) and an underdeveloped cerebrum, and the other is just fine! my sis at age 24 now still can not deal with the fact that her daughter almost died, she blames herself for the accident saying she should have triple checked the seat belt in the van to make sure it was secure. she has had a lot to deal with for the last 7 years, it got so bad she turned to drugs and can not regain custody of my neice as of right now even though she has been sober for a while! but time will tell...she is a great mom now, but if things didn't happen the way they did i beleive she would have her daughter and be a great mom to all 3 of them
"so all you young moms share how many of you relied on others to by diapers and food, be it parents or state funding, lets talk about that for a minute"
I had my first child when I was 17yrs 4months and 1 day old... I struggled on and off welfare for 10 years (let me tell it, it doesn't pay jack for a single child just for the record). Gathered soda bottles for diapers, worked 2 jobs and then part time in a day care and went to school (where the heck I had the energy is beyond me), had to borrow money from my parents, family, friends to pay rent/electric/food... I would by myself a pair of shoes just as things would start looking up financially, only to be returning them within a week because I needed something for the baby - then had to wear my nasty old shoes again (the local K-mart had to dread my monthly visit). I lived in shelters, on the couches of friends, in my car, anywhere I could. Life sucked and I struggled just to get through another day. We lived from home to home, I moved my daughter from school to school, and in general I totally failed my daughter for the first 10 years of her life, in my honest opinion.
Yes, things are going well now, I grew up. However there were times when I never thought I would be where I am now. But, those years still effect today. I am still thousands of dollars in debt from things back in the past, and it is going to take me at least another year what it took me 10 years to screw up.
People should be issued licenses in order to breed. I'm so sick of hearing of babies wanting babies, because they want someone that will love them (being a parent is a damn thankless job at times damn it! Babies aren't always loving and cuddly!). Any child that wants a child this young simply needs to be admitted to their local mental health unit and their parents need classes too. What even makes me more disgusted is that often these "wanted" babies are often abused or neglected, and these innocent children never asked to be brought into this hateful world. They just asked to be cared for and loved.
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