Nov 03, 2013
i have this like ... thing ... stuck in my throat. if i was capable of it i would stick my hand down my throat and rip both of my tonsils out. I swear i have the biggest tonsils since ... idk. why why why did they not take them out when i was a kid? my folks were so weird about that spit.
today was ... kind of quasi. u know?? in the morning was the Sat meeting, that's a coolio meeting tho its so freakin EARLY (ten a.m.) and LONG!!!! til 1130. oh me. this guy led he was in his 30s gay i think and very smart. he was a good speaker, i was hostile towards him at first but later i warmed up to him despite my best efforts not to. he talked about literature ... albeit American lit which i don't dig certain periods of ... but it was a step in the right direction. i studied Kara and Rikkkk a lot cuz i want to ask K to sponsor me, and Susan kept bugging me did you ask did you ask did you ask . so far i have not. she seems pretty aite but ... i hardly know her so i have to work myself up into a complete nervous wreck before i ask her.
i sat next to The Other Lin who was a ps teacher and she is very cool ppl. we talked a little, i forgot that she pressed me to call her i will try maybe tom
then tom too i sed to Susan i would call Kara fer shur
and i thought maybe i will try other meeting tom idk tho
the ac felt guilty for not helping me with my car so he put 30 bux under my apartment door .. um. ok. w/e
i went to get the car fix. cuz the guy yester said i had to go back. i was so pissed yesterday i was real hostile to the guys there but then when he semi fixed it i was a little nicer. yester he charged me 85 bux and today when i got back its another 40. so that's ok plus i have to pay the car registration ... my checking account is totally overdrawn. its ok. shrug. and then of the four guys there its like ... ok in tha hood, one mechanic totally came onto me but in a nice way he was a Mexican guy in his 40s or 50s real sweet and nice, i spoke some Spanish to him cuz he could not think of all the English words he wanted. we talkd about walking and horses and Mexico and stuff like that. he said i had beautiful eyes and he asked me where my dad was. aint that sweet? "where is your dad?" like, i was a little girl waiting for her daddy.
dreaming of Mercy Street
in your daddy's arms again
i want my daddy
but my moms told him to call me and say for me to never call their house or cells again and do not send them email. he said 'have a nice life.' this is cuz um. after the fire my moms gived me money and i say i want her love not her money.
2Chainz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! remind me of February!
chain hang to his !@##$
oh my Chainz! watch your language pleez!
i have the sniffles. alls the time. for two year.
that's cuz you did more opiates than the ppl in the entire Western World over the course of 14 year.
then they got the car done the guy, Abel (ah bell) he go if you want more repairs here is my card. so now i gots a mechanic! if the ac cant do it
i went to Griffith Park and went hiking. it is like, u drive to Hollywood get off at Franklin and take it down to Bronson Canyon. Hollywood is always fun to goto but Holly ppl are SO Weir. yes. they ALLL skinny and some dress real fancy you pass them as u go up the hill like 'is that person famous? wait. aren't you liv tyler? ' like that. and the other group all sickly ragamuffin types like "i am so cool you will never look as cool and sickly skinny as me"
yo dog i don't want to so there!
its weird its not a hard hike up Bronson Canyon but i felt tired and slow. i had a particularly rough nite last nite i felled asleep at four a.m. and like i KEPT Myself up i could not give in to the obvious sleep knocking at my cellar door quote the RAven Nevermore
uh. and like. i was tired! but i went to the top, and i crossed up further and took the Equestrian Trail there was like a thousand horses it was like a Bob Seger album. not pretty. i am skeer of horses like neeeeee! and then they will trample me and kick me down the canyon ... never to be found! Woman, Tremendously Large Hair, Found in Bronson Canyon Sunday Morning
she was such a nice girl
where's her daddy?
so, when i got to very top like the L.A. skyline and shore was so beautiful i mean just theeee Gorgeousest DAy ... yes i sed gorgeousest such a dope view
then i went down fast and like ... no jokes pleez. and like ... i got to my car it was only 75 minutes i did it in so tho my calves ache and it was tough i guess i did it fast and i GOTS to find harder hikes. maybe tomorrow. wow i have a lot to do tom
the thing with Will went south super fast. He called last nite, i was writing and so i got done at 1030 it was too late to call back. but we had talked Wed. and so i text him on the way to meeting like 'sorry ive been super busy can i call you early afternoon' and he just text 'yes. call me' like dog! ok
i called after got home from mechanic. he wanted to go out earlier than 730 but i had planned on 730 and i was going to hike come hell or high water that's my fun time! yo! so im like sorry i cannot go earlier. then he say he want to meet at the Starbux we met at last weekend, and drive to Universal. first of all i hate Universal and second i don't want to be alone with him if we're not in public until i know him better.
so even tho i already SAID i wanted to meet somewhere i said it again. i said ill meet u there. but first i axed him why don't we have dinner. he go 'well i will have alrady eaten by then.'
um ... seriously? the FIRST date and he cant change his dinnertime? he don't want to take me to dinner? i had said 'something simple' but no he had to insist on universal
when i hung up i was so pissed. like, he had pressed me to not meet him somewhere but let him drive, again, and he had not listened to what i wanted to do ... that's what Nina was talking about. but even without her i was pissed. i was like maybe he realy is a cereal killer if he so anxious to get me in his car. don't forget he is like a big bodybuilder guy.
so i text him at four like 'dog i will not be able to keep our date. ' and we get into this text exchange when i get home it is like out of hand. not angry. but he ax why. so tell him. i said it like briefly .. like, i think a guy should listen to a womans needs, partic on first date but in general and i wanted to have dinner and meet u there. ... like, im guessing you even have to pay for parking at universal so that is gauche as well
then he text me back like 'we were talking about what to do i asked what u wanted to do you should have said if there was a problem'
like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah! i DID say what i wanted to do Bozo! omg this guy is like 700 years old i am so sure get a freakin clue!
and i am so unhappy to have to do this kind of thing with a guy i haven't even GONE OUT WITH YET
finally he pushes me so hard i tell him off. he is like 'let's meet at starbux right now and talk' like NO!
so i was like 'im sorry but to me going out to dinner on the first date is Dating 101' yeah i texted that i mean!!!! he drove me to it! but i was like 'you seem like a nice person. i wish you well.' etc and i did say 'maybe another time' but i didn't mean it.
that's what you get making good on a pick up outside Starbux. sigh
so i stayed home and did tons of laundry, texted Susan just now, and watched a movie. yeah
i did not do fiction writing cuz i figure i try to work mon thru Friday.
very tired. my feet and calves ache from tha hike
i am still sad at various parts of the day over the ac. he chose his alcohol over me.
i still miss S. i hope he is ok.
so that's it im boring. im gonna sleep soon. hopefully realy sleep.
in your daddy's arms again
la dee da, yeah yeah
ps.if ur an artist and don't look back, i don't care about dinner necessarily, cuz that kind of guy who is smart and creative or even just smart usually have they own ideas about dates and they way cool like "let's drive up to the observatory and take our clothes off' or something. i mean. not that necessarily but ... um. yeah.