Nov 21, 2013
OK so last night we went for our 7 week scan. I was feeling positive and upbeat since the bleeding had stopped. The doctor did a transvaginal u/s and was measuring the sac etc... He was very quiet which isn't like him. I could see the sac on the screen, nice and oval with a little yolk, but that was all. Then he told me to get dressed and go into his office. I knew something was wrong... He hadn't mentioned the heartbeat? So he told us straight... There was no embryo and no heartbeat. Devastation and disbelief! We listened to what he had to say... Basically I could do a blood test to check beta hcg level straight away, or wait and do another scan on sunday, I opted for the scan as wanted to cling on to a little hope. He said it looked like a blighted ovum, and gave us a 75/25 percent chance. If he's correct in his diagnosis on Sunday, he'll give me medication to bring on a miscarriage. I am absolutely dreading it... I went through this last year and it was truly awful. We came home and cried.
Deep down I know this is the end of our miracle pregnancy. I should know better than to hope, things NEVER go the way they should for us. We have gone through 6 years of infertility, 6 rounds of IVF, one FET cycle, one miscarriage, soon to be two... Our Miracle Pregnancy... And still no baby. I think we are meant to remain childless. I feel so desperate and empty. So now I know why I had so little symptoms.. And today they seem as though the few symptoms I have had have completely disappeared. I am going to throw myself into the cleaning... Music blaring... I need to keep occupied.