Woke up early to go to breakfast with parents and grandparents, but not jon. Then mom me and gramma went to first the nashua mall, then salem, looking for a sweater! I also go some clothes, cause I'm kindof ridiculous. Then we went to Emily's graduation party. I stuck out like a sore thumb, and not just because I was younger than them. But whatever. Got home and then I was feeling brave (bored)( Plus steve was at furbs' house) so I texted alex cali and he was having a bonfire and so i went over there and it ended up being me him sean casey this girl named casey dana and aj. We ate marshmellows and tackled each other. His brother is annoying. We watched the beginning of Saw 5, then Aj took me and Dana home at 11. At 9:30 steve texted me to tell me he was also having a bonfire, and I was welcome to come over. I was too scared to text back. I want to be honest with him. It kills me to lie. But if I tell him the truth it will hurt him more. What's really so wrong about hanging out with other friends. Why can't he just trust me for once in our lives. I didn't even smoke, like he made me promise not to and that's what he was afraid we did when we hung out. And it was. But we didn't. I didn't even touch a cigarrette or anything. He's going to be so upset with me. Why do I do things that make him mad? I know when I see his face and how dissapointed he is, and he'll pull the line a little tighter, and I'll cry and feel horrible. But now I'm horrible. I've always been so horrible. I'll always be so horrible.