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Why my Mom was so special and is so hard to live without......

Jun 11, 2009 - 6 comments

At 3:A.M,before my Mom's service, I was finishing my Mom's eulogy,I came across a journal she had hardly wrote in.When I found this I incorporated it into her eulogy,her own words.What is soul,and how do we live a soulful life?People everywhere are searching for well being,for meaning,purpose,fullfillment,health,and happiness.For life to be good,we need to feel useful,and appreciated,and we long for great relationships-to love and to be loved.Behind all these human desires is the creative impulse of soul.It moves through each of us and through the world we create.And when we can understand,love and respond to soul,we find meaning in all of our experiences,even the difficult ones.On the other hand,when we resist the movement of soul within,because we do not understand what's happening,we become ill,have accidents,experiance emotional pain,struggle with money,work and relationships.Life becomes a real challenge.I was to busy trying to be loved and admired,I need to love myself and take care of myself.I failed.
                                                                              Kathy 7-13-07    She wrote this a few days after she was  
                                                                                                               diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.

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by AHP84, Jun 11, 2009
I hope your mom found peace within her soul before she passed away?

She seemed like a very wise, caring and generous woman; I can certainly see why you loved and admired her so much. We can all learn a lot from your mother's words.

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by margypops, Jun 11, 2009
Just wanted to say how wonderful you were able to incorperate this into her Eulogy, I have difficulty sometimes in reading these journals form other people but I think it helped me heal from loosing my mom who I wasnt with or near when she passed away,I have to live with it, it must help me to  grieve when I  read the words from other people. Your Mom sounded wonderful...

Avatar universal
by Ihavelovedyousolong, Jun 12, 2009
Hi Beachwalker ,

                       In a crisis situation time seems to slow down , here you're going through life and then , bam , they are gone and life will never be the same . What should I tell you ?

                       Some people are special , you can't get them out of your mind...

Thanks so much for sharing , now we know who she was , that was profound ... the hardest thing is to love ourselves yet it is the only thing to do , and she is always with you ... she was an angel disguised as a human being ..

Love and Blessings forever,

A friend

Avatar universal
by Ihavelovedyousolong, Jun 12, 2009
The fear of death holds a mighty grip because what lies beyond our physical existence is basically unknown and fear of the unknown can be debilitating and torturous.

Our spiritual beliefs play a major role in how we view death and how we respond when we are faced with it. Those who believe that physical death is the absolute end of existence may live their remaining days or months in terror, anger, and regret, and assume the role of a victim, the recipient of a ruthless injustice.

There are others who believe that our physical time on earth is but a learning opportunity on the path towards higher awareness and evolution.

Everything in the universe is made up of energy, us included. There is an energy that brought us to earth in the form of a human being and this same energy will move us into our next form whatever that may be.

Do you know where you were before you came to earth? Before you materialized here in the form of a human? If you knew what to expect on earth prior to arriving would you have jumped at the chance? Imagine looking through the classifieds in your previous existence and you read an ad that says,

Opportunity to join fast-paced, tumultuous planet where you will be exposed to disease, war, pain, hunger, fear and hatred. You will arrive without skill or protection and must rely solely on a more developed member of your species for food, shelter, comfort and safety. You will not be able to feed or care for yourself during your first few years of life and will not have the cognitive ability to recognize danger or threat.

You may spend your developing years in a loving environment or in one filled with hatred, violence and pain.

We cannot guarantee your physical form. You may arrive without limbs, possibly be blind or deaf or suffer a form of impairment or mutilation that might create challenges or hardship for you. We cannot guarantee you love, respect or an enjoyable voyage. It will be the role of a dice.

You will be given a heart that can be broken and your spirit will be challenged regularly. You will arrive on earth completely exposed, unprepared and without a survival handbook. You will be expected to learn, grow, survive on your own and make the most with what you have.

You are offered no guarantees and you cannot come back when you wish. You are committed for an undetermined period of time and may not return until you are called.

If this sounds like something you’re interested in, please sign on the dotted line below and within seconds, you will be transported to earth in the form of a human being.

Good luck.


If you knew what to expect prior to joining earth, would you have signed up? The ad above contains no exaggeration or false statements. It is reality as we know it.

As human beings we also experience love, comfort, security, happiness, accomplishment, learning, discovery, fun, pleasure, elation, pride, success, growth and reward.

I would like to offer an alternative perspective if I may, a suggestion, something to contemplate.

What if we are in the earth school to experience, learn, grow and develop? What if it is a playground and a learning institution? Life is nothing more than a series of experiences. That is what we do while we're here. We do nothing else but create experiences.

Sometimes we may be called back earlier than we’d like to be and although earth can be scary and unpredictable, we would rather be here where we have accepted our position than to head into the unknown.

What if you had a glimpse of where you were going? Would it make your transition easier?

What if physical death means you are returning to your original, energy state? Your real home? What if you knew you had earned a special pair of wings and were being advanced to the next level in your evolution?

In your original state, you experience no physical or emotional pain. You understand that everything is okay and that human life is a wonderful experience. You may regret that you will no longer be there for your children or loved ones, but what makes you think you won't?

In your original form, you may be even closer to those you love and capable of guiding them with more success than you ever could in human form.

You may provide the inspiration a songwriter receives when she writes a beautiful song that will ease the pain of many and give hope and inspiration to your child in a time of despair.

You may be that intuitive voice that tells a loved one to turn left instead of right, thus avoiding a tragic accident.

You may be the gentle wind that blows through the hair of your grandchild as he rides his bicycle across a field.

You may orchestrate that serendipitous meeting between your child and his soul mate and future life partner.

Contemplate death as a transformation; the transition from one form of being to another. There is no end because life is infinite. Energy is transferred, not “snuffed out.”

When a tree dies, it returns to the earth in an altered state and rises again in new form. It nourishes the earth that gave it life and contributes to the new life of plants, flowers and trees in the form of food and nourishment. That tree that once stood 100 feet tall now lives in the leaves of the beautiful flowers and greenery that share its home.

Many ask, "Why does anyone have to suffer?" Why do cancer, disease and natural tragedies have to be so merciless, so cruel?

Once we have transitioned to our new form, our human experience will be the equivalent in time to the blip on a radar screen, the blink of an eye.

While on earth, the suffering may seem endless because we are bound by time and space, but outside of the physical world, time does not exist.

Maybe these seeming injustices are played out to bring us back to what is truly important and what we are here to learn. Sometimes we get caught up in who has the bigger home, the fastest car, the prettiest wife, the more prestigious title, and when we are faced with the impending loss of a loved one or watching those we love suffer, we are forced to realize that nothing of material significance really matters.

What if life does not end, but merely changes form? What if we do not cease to exist, but transform? We leave our physical limitations and pain behind and operate from a higher awareness, an enlightened plane, an existence without borders?

Cancer, disease, disaster and tragedy may not be a means of punishment, but a bold reminder that we must live life to the fullest, to appreciate all that we have and to show love, compassion and acceptance for our fellow human beings.

Perhaps we should celebrate when a loved one receives her wings because she has been called home. Maybe we should not fear receiving a call when our time comes because we will have learned our valuable lessons and will be promoted to the next level of growth.

Avatar universal
by Beachwalker33, Jun 12, 2009
The only thing my Mom was scared of was leaving me and my son,alone.She taught me so much more then she ever realized.She taught me how to love,how to feel, and show compassion.And most importantly she taught me how to be a fighter,a winner,to never give up,even when the pain seems to much to bare.She gave me life and taught me how to live it,she gave me everything a daughter could ever want from a Mother,herself.We knew every part of one another's soul,good and bad,right and wrong,its the closeness we shared thats nearly impossible to live without.She prayed for my child.The child that I wasn't supposed to be able to have.Without him I would have no reason to move on,no one to teach,no one to care for.No one to love me back.Are all my efforts in vain,I sure know that her's weren't.I will never feel the pleasure or the pain,that went along with knowing and losing such a special person.She was my everything and I her everything,until my son came along.No one looked at my son the same way as she did,except me,and someday some nice,loving woman will love my son and appreciate all the qualities that have been handed down from her to me to him.My heart and soul will always feel like something is missing,until I see her again.....I love you Mom...this much(         )...

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by alicat007, Jun 23, 2009
Your Mom was a very smart woman. How wonderful to have her Journal and see her words in front of you each day.

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