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tomorrow is my birthday

Dec 02, 2013 - 2 comments

I just cant get over wanting to be dead, tomorrow is my birthday and since I came in to the world that day I figure it would be a good day to leave it.  Just very tired of being sick and in pain.

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Avatar universal
by try1958, Feb 05, 2014
Never let yourself to let your emotions rule your life, since you are letting us know your deepest complains, pain , I do not know what or how or where all the pain causing you to think. I also have everyday of past 2 yrs of thinking the way you do.
I found it very good to talk to someone before you get to that point! There is Family, Friends, Online chat with other like you and I to dialogue live with. And if you want to talk to me very glad to do it for you and or anyone. Don't give up battle your life is very important to everyone out there going through pain and despair.  I just recently had my genes analyzed for $100
I know a lot of people can't afford that, but it did shed some light on my condition. Please fight it till your last breath, god or whoever put us here for reason ,I know whatever reason is one thing they never would have puts us here to just throw in the towel.   Please CONTACT me or others out there. Your life is . Precious even the that you are going through, I found there are other worst off than me,. But sharing is a hope thing WILL CHANGE!!

Avatar universal
by DoreenLola, Sep 30, 2015
I'm new to this site...I just found it tonight while after the last 3 to 4 days have been dealing with the worst pain in my life and trust me when I say I know what your feeling...as I was in a room at my parents (been visiting they're elderly and not well either and I'm the only one here to help them even though they have 5 other children!!) I found my self weeping and talking aloud to God ... I am a Christian but not a good one in the sense that I don't attend church and things like that...anyway I found myself asking God to please just take my life as I cannot take the pain anymore, having no one who understands what I go through, talking to a person/family what not who's never really been sick with anything serious trying to get something out of them idk concern, compassion, understanding, yet nothing comes and I've come to realize that it is not their fault they are lucky they just don't get it bc unless you've lived our lives with our severe illnesses they couldn't possibly...So I came to this conclussion I will find people/make friends with other sick and suffering...there must be many of "me" out there and by dumb luck I found this site...I had even forgot...that quickly that I wanted to find others like me and thought of the net and low and behold the very first person I clicked on is you...So I am sending you a friend request...I imagine that this is how I would go about becoming friends with you...please take a moment and read my profile and see all I've been through and just two years ago the doc's my last hospital stay said I'd be lucky to make it another 5 years and it's 2 1/2 already so please talk...I just know it will help...I feel your pain honestly...I've even attempted something really stupid in past years that I'd NEVER do on my own not for the reasons that most people wouldn't but bc I promised my doc...my angel...that i'd never do that again...he does everything in his power to keep me alive...has gone far beyond the duties of a dr and actually had dr's from California come back just for little ole me that ended up saving my life...my findings were astonishing to them...my case (blood clotting surgery) is now in all future text books to teach all future dr's how to save a life due my giving all rights to my case, video footage, surgery many times a day for hours at a time to unclog the largest blood clot ever seen ever and survived and when I told the team of dr's from California thank you for saving my life and my leg they said they didn't do that...that they indeed thought I would not make it yet there I was with my leg...see we can find greatness in our suffering...perhaps my case and those dr's have saved one or 20 or 1,000 lives by now...idk but to me if I and those dr's saved one single life then to me it was ALL worth it...I now say to God if your done with me It's ok I'm ready to go bc I can't take the pain, no one understanding, no one period to talk to, the days and nights crying, I don't have one thing wrong but many which believe me that alone had me on the verge of desparation the other night and look....I told God I need someone...anyone like me that would understand that I could just talk to...having a friend is important having a friend who completely understands everything your going through thats no a friend thats a diamond in the rough....i know words don't always help but if you took the time to know me really know me you'd know I'm what they call a keeper...read my profile and hang in there please and happy birthiday also!!!! In due time when it is truly our time we will go our suffering will be over but like my past there is a reason for everything. I have so much I'd like to share with you things I'd never talk to anyone about bc they simply wouldn't get it...there are prob a lot of people on here that will make awesome friends...Please feel better and if you'd like we can chat sometime...I believe everything happens for a reason...maybe your very serious and that's why and how I found you...to help you to become a friend to you..no one can have too many friends...especially when we have as many problems and ailments as we do...Good luck to you my new found ...our dark days can get brighter!!!  I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on, a person to vent too, someone to just listen or someone to take your mind off of all of this and just talk about something anything different...i understand all of those feelings we get day after day of constantly being sick...so rest up a bit and then have a wonderful birthday....I have to tell you it took me sooo long to type this because i've been up for days and days with such severe pain and as i would be typing i was falling asleep with a finger on the ooooooooooooor  or me hitting the backspace key ..... needless to say everytime I'd wake I would start all over bc I can soo relate to what you said and I just wish someone, anyone would have done this for me had I written it...WOW I really am tired i just noticed your post i saw and commented on is pretty OLD so forgive me but still all applies I hope your doing well now and much better....please let me know how your doing...your message really concerned me even though I completely understood why and all of it...Sincerely, Doreenlola                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

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