Dec 13, 2013
There is something weirdly stressful about the day Don E comes back & when he leaves for work. This am he left for his big trip back to China. Between 5am &now 10 am I've taken 3 pills. I didn't get them out of Taper Container ( where they are cut up & counted,I took them out of bottle. Right like I'm tricking myself. I will still be on track- 2 1/2 pills till tomorrow. I feel like the dieter that ate 1/2 the cake. May as well eat the other 1/2 now. I told husband I may extend visa in Panama & stay here. He wondered if I would have enough pain pills. I was concerned about buying more Bipolar meds. They are expensive here & my USA ins doesn't cover CR. I'm in main house. Hate my new painting. May paint a new one on the back. Was looking at some work 2009,I think I'm getting worse. I should be happy. Roger is here. I'm going to start tutoring his son in English. Roger is processing fresh coconut & he'll make Coconut rice milk pudding. Then we can put some in the upper hse fridge for when I return to Art Studio. Haven't heard from Psychologist. He's jealous of me. Not my mental health,just jealous probably cuz he has to stay in the city & work. I am able to look out over the ocean all day & listen to the waves crashing at night. But in reality nothing to be jealous. I have to figure a way out of pain pill landia, struggle w bipolar & Agrophobia. He just sits in his chair & listens. Spends free time billing insurance company's. I've not been jealous of anybody or anything. Thank God for that. Ok. That's it.